One other thing…be prepared for a list of desired items and specialty items. About half the people will ask “What would you like me to bring?” (the other half will tell you “I’ll bring my famous bubble-gum chicken!”)
When they ask, it’s much easier if you have a list, rather than trying to remember(“Aunt Jill, you bring the roast venison”,
“Uncle Eustace, we need a green vegetable…could you bring a salad?”,
“Aunt Polly! It wouldn’t be a family get-together without your wonderful Crisco-Coated-Coati! Would you mind, terribly, if I request it?”,
“Cousin Trumpkin! I understand you don’t cook…Of course we still want you to come! Why don’t you bring four or five two-liter bottles of soda?” )
Trust me…having a list of needed items that anyone can make(salad, bread, soda) and a list of specialty items (Uncle Digory’s apple pie) will make your gathering a complete success. If you don’t have a list, you’ll end up with salad, chips, soda and, inexplicably, a package of hot-dog buns.
I dunno. I think the first party should be hosted. That is just my preference…if someone held a pot luck, I would be game because I love to cook.
If cost is an issue, have a spaghetti dinner. Pasta is fairly cheap.
This way, you can get an idea of how many people ask to bring stuff. And if they do, THEN you can say “oh, I am covered for this party, thanks, but that gives me a great idea…we should make a new tradition!”
Potluck and family? Heck, that’s what our family does at virtually every gathering. There are about 18 adults in our family, each always brings a dish – decided by the hosts which are usually my parents.
They always do the big items, aka turkey or ham or at Christmas the prime rib and one other dish along with the drinks. The rest of us are in charge of the rest, mashed potatoes, relish dish, etc.
BTW, I don’t think it ever tacky that a person would request a “potluck” because you provide the house as a gathering place of people and it’s family. Yes, as the host, you should provide a major chunk of say, main dish and drinks.
In the last two parties I threw, one was a baby shower and I did all the food. Sufficed to say I didn’t get much sleep and didn’t have that much fun. The second one was for a friend’s 40th birthday and asked everyone to bring a dish and even their own booze, I had more fun and was more relaxed and I wasn’t out $90.
Jadis - I did not intend to suggest anything uncomplimentary about your mom or family, and I sense my post may have come across as somewhat patronizing. I apologize. I was trying to express my experience that, after my wife and I got together, we would regularly face issues where I would say, “My family always did X” and she would counter with “My family always did Y” - both of us referring to our parents and siblings. It took us a few holidays to realize that once we were together, WE were the most important family unit, not the respectie families we came from.
Same with a new home. We found ourselves doing all kinds of things the way our parens did them in our childhood homes. We have been much more content since we affirmatively accepted the “Our house, our rules” motto.
I thought that was worth mentioning. Sorry if it came across as critical. Enjoy your holidays.
Nope nope…no need to apologize. I just realized after you post that I hadn’t made my relationship with my Mom clear and I thought that I’d made it sound like she was this matriarchal figure, clinging wildly to the reins of family tradition.
Actually, Mom is very laid back and she’s one of my best friends…so it’s not so much that I was trying to impress her or seek her approval, it was just that I trust her and when I asked her advice, she was wary of the whole idea. That’s all. No biggie.
My family does things much like techchick68’s family. My mom had everyone over for Thanksgiving this year and she did the turkey, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes. My two sisters-in-law brought pies, rolls, and a relish plate, I brought deviled eggs, green beans, and cream puffs. There’s 8 adults and 5 kids in our family and it’s just too much for one of us to cook a large meal for 13 people so we all bring something to take the burden off of the “host”. My SIL will host Christmas and will provide the ham, potatoes, and rolls and my other SIL and my mom and I will bring our usual sides.
My SO and I had a party this past 4th of July and it was a pot luck and we invited all of our family and a couple of friends. We provided the hamburgers, hot dogs, and brautwurst, all the fixings and the beer/drinks and everyone else brought a side dish. It was great. We had 30+ people there and tons of good food. Those who can’t or don’t cook brought potato chips and store bought desserts. We sent out invitations inviting everyone to a pot luck and told them what we were providing. Those that actually did RSVP (not everyone did) asked what they could bring and if they suggested something that someone else had already confirmed I would tell them and suggest something else. No one got offended and everyone seemed to have a fantastic time.
Go for the pot luck. I bet everyone will think it’s a great idea and will have a wonderful time. Everyone will get to see your new house and enjoy a good meal and spend time together and that’s the most important thing.
