Follow up question for the Teeming Millions…
Assuming one has a crush like evilbeth’s, does it “honk you off,” as Cristi put it so nicely, to see them flirting with other people on the board? (And YES, I’m well aware of the irony of this question coming from one of the biggest flirts on the board.)
Anyone? Bueller?
To each of the women and men who have crushes on me (and I know your name is Legion), and are tortured when you see me flirt with others, I wanted to tell you - you specifically - that none of the others mean anything to me, and it’s just a little harmless fun. Except YOU. You are the one who means everything to me, and if circumstances were different I’d be by YOUR side.
flips through the dictionary Whaddya know? There really IS a picture of me next to the entry for “arrogant.”
Gosh. When someone flirts with me and others simultaneously I feel lucky to be in such good company. And, basically, I’m pretty hard up for gratuitous flirting so I’ll take what I can get…
Ugh. That did NOT sound right.
Evilbeth,
I think you’re perfectly normal. Human attraction, in whatever form, is one of those things that makes us feel good. Good about each other. Good about ourselves. What a fortunate (and, no doubt, deserving) individual who can lay claim to having a thread starting over him/her. You’re making everyone wish it were them.
<draws in dust with toe>
Assuming anyone would ever actually have a crush on me…it wouldn’t bother me to see them flirting with someone else on the boards–it’s all in good fun. For that matter, it’s never really bothered me to see my RL GFs flirting a bit.
On the OT, I actually think a Board-crush makes more sense than a sight-crush. At least you have some clue what the person is like from his (her?) posts.
It doesn’t really “honk me off” to see my crushes flirt with others, but I DO wish a certain somebody would flirt more with ME.
A crush on someone I really don’t know? Hell, I’m dealing with that IRL!
Seriously, I think that when you have a crush on someone, you don’t necessarily know them. Sometimes the crush is the prelude to getting to know them better, you know? You don’t always see them for who they are, nor are you always happy with what you find, but I don’t think that just because you have a crush on someone it means you know them.
I wouldn’t say I have any actual “crushes” on anyone on here. There are some people with whom I flirt more than others, and with a couple it is the “you know I would if this was a perfect world, but it’s not, but you know I’d follow through if I could” type of flirting, and you know who you are.
I don’t get jealous when I see any of these people flirt with others. What would be the point? Especially since I’m already married, it’s not like I have a claim on any of them. Even were I not married, these are people I haven’t met and who don’t live anywhere near me, and I wouldn’t flirt with them if they didn’t flirt back…so they must be flirts too and how can I condemn anyone for that? (“Ramble much?” “Shut up.”
I’ll see what I can do.
Well, I don’t currently have any crushes per se on the boards, but there are certainly more than our fair shair of hot/cute/beautiful/gorgeous ladies on the board, judging from the People Pages. As for not seeing a picture: There was a lady I used to chat with (no romantic prospects, I viewed her more as an aunt) who refused to let her picture be posted. It didn’t stop me from forming a very detailed mental image of her, and even meeting her once in a dream. Then, someone once accidentally posted a picture of her, and she turned out to look nothing like I had pictured her. The funny thing is, even knowing what she really looks like, I can’t help but assosciate her with the earlier, well-established mental image I had of her. I imagine that the same would apply for crushes.
Thank you Euty. I appreciate it. 
I don’t think on-line crushes are much different from IRL-crushes: both seem to be about knowing a person just well enough to be able to fantasize without it seeming too “fake”, but not well enough to be “turned off” by the imperfections that may not be obvious yet.
When you get to know the person better you discover that there are also imperfections that tend to cool things off. Sometimes they cool thing off enough that later, you ask yourself “whatever did I see in them?” Other times you discover other qualities, and the relationship changes from a crush into something maybe less fantastic but richer in other ways…
Ladies and gentlemen, the doctor is in.
(Doctor, I thought I was an engineer?)
Crushes are an interesting thing. Part of what happens with crushes is you idealize the person of the crush. That is one reason why they happen. So it in fact makes lots of sense to have a crush on someone you don’t know well. You pick up on some aspect of them that is briefly present, and that strikes some chord. Maybe it’s their appearance or the way they speak relating to a parent or someone you already know (like handy said), or maybe it’s the tone and style that somehow reaches in to your person, and you feel like you know the person, like you are the person, that the two of you are bonded. It can be the fulfilling of an emotional need you didn’t know you had, or just touching the part of you that you hold most deep.
And generally they don’t last, because that is the nature of a crush. It isn’t real love, it’s built on your idealization of the person. Sometimes they can grow into something more, if you really get to know the person. Usually they disappear after some time, when you either realize they are going nowhere, or your idealization is shattered, either by seeing the picture, or meeting IRL, or they start posting more things you didn’t know about them and it diverges from your mental picture.
I go through crushes where for some reason I will become infatuated with a person - someone I know. For a while, I will think about her day and night, consistently returning to her. It will last a week to a couple months. And then one day it will stop, and I’ll move on, and have some other crush. That doesn’t make me fickle, it makes me human. Sure I’d love for those crushes to go somewhere sometimes, but usually there are reasons why they can’t.
As far as online crushes, I had a strong one with a woman I met through email. I’ve known her for 4 years now, we’ve met once IRL. For a while I had it bad, but now it’s more of a casual friendship. The fact that she’s 10 years older and lives 1000 miles away makes pursuing it daunting.
As for board crushes, I have a few. You can probably guess my big one, since it’s all over this board.
So evilbeth, you’re not a complete freak. At least for this. Unless we’re all complete freaks. 
And it will probably pass away eventually. Then you’ll find someone else to obsess over.
::Notices he hasn’t posted pic for people pages.::
Falcon, does it “honk me off”? Only if I’m never on the receiving end of the flirting. As long as I’m getting my share, not really.
And now after writing all this, I see that ren popped in and said much the same thing. Oh well, I’m posting anyway.
In answer to Falcon’s question, no, it doesn’t honk me off when this person flirts or is flirted with on the board. Wait a minute, that isn’t entirely true. I do feel a little weird when this happens. Not really jealous, just sort of uncomfortable. Hmmm…
Sure it does. At first I have this 7th grade mentality that overrides my logic. It says [Cartman voice]"Hey! You, hippie! Back off of my woman or Imonna kick you inna nuts!![/Cartman voice}
Then of course I realize that no one on this board is “my woman” or is ever likely to be so. Its just a MB. There are exceptions of course . . . but for the most part this is all harmless and baseless flirting. If other male posters choose to flirt with the female poster who I am sweet on (and about 85% do just that) then let them. This isn’t RL. That initial reaction is just some ancient instinct, like say 7th grade, coming out. Generally its all very funny to me.
EB -
Thank you! That’s sort of how I feel…not jealous, but just…weird. Was just wondering if someone ELSE felt like that. Ah well…
alas, I’m never the object of a crush.
but they’re harmless (occasionally they’re even healthy!)
I wouldn’t say that, John. You just might not know about it.
Well, just when I finally broke down and told someone who my crush is, I’m starting to develop another one! (Someday I’ll learn not to go back and read old posts!) However, I thank everyone for reassuring me that I’m not a weirdo about this. It’s just that everyone I have ever had a crush on before I had at least seen by picture or in person–but I haven’t the slightest clue what these two people look like! And it doesn’t matter! See? it’s posters like all of you understanding people who make crushes like these possible. I just love all of you!!
Well, Evilbeth, glad to be of help, in terms of reassuring you of your normalcy…
Soooo…are you going to tell us of EITHER crush now? Why not post both of their names, and let the SDMB decide which one should be your number one unpictured crush.
**
Let me get this straight, though—you’ve been reading old posts, and you’ve developed another crush on someone else who doesn’t have a picture?
**
What are you doing, deliberately seeking out people who don’t have pictures?
Are you performing searches for posts made by posters who don’t have pictures up?
What are you, some kind of “serial-unpictured-poster-stalker”?
You’re WEIRD!
Thanks!
Apparently, I am just intrigued by the way these people present themselves without my being distracted by their physical appearances! Of course, I’m sure they are both as beautiful outside as they are inside–they have to be! Say, DRY, you don’t have a picture posted, do you? Maybe I could start to like you too!