He may be an idiot. But he’s my idiot, and I like him!
I’m 52, and have noticed neither a falling off of desire or ability.
Opportunity, on the other hand…
I suppose everyone is different, but I’m 40 and I still have the desire and the capability as much as when I was half my age…sometimes MORE.
Your descriptions of your “before” behavior are scant compared to me NOW.
Again, though…everyone is different.
I’ll get it looked at (boy, that sounds like a euphemism for something…). I want to think my Dad went through something similar. I can’t exactly ask him as he passed away about 4 years ago.
I used to need two hands to hold it down. Now I need one. I figure I have become stronger.
Here’s a joke I told at work: When I was a teenager, I never thought my hormone levels would decrease…nowadays, I’m lucky if I have two hormones to rub together.
Imho, it’s normal. What I would suggest though is to let your wife know what’s going on, and be honest if she wants to and you don’t.
U.B., is there any chance that you’re depressed? Specifically, as a cause of your drop in libido (and not a consequence thereof)?
There’s an old saying that goes something like “The more you do it the more you do it.”
If you want to have more sex then try having more sex. At first it may be more a mental desire than an actual physical desire/libido thing, but eventually (hopefully) your libido will catch on to what you’re trying to do here.
For me the lower libido is from meds I’m taking. In my case I’ve found the “Just Do It More Technique ™” to work quite well, for a while at least.
Part of why it all works has to do with the great side effects of sex, if you will. You’re happier, the wife is happier, your hormones are running on turbo…
Good luck!
Marmoset there’d be days like this.
Not really. I’ve been depressed. Clinically, medically, therap…uh…ically depressed.
This ain’t that. It’s pretty much a cooling of the ‘itch’.
The wife’s libido has always been lower than mine, and with frequency, a rebuff would be left with feelings of resentment and crankyness. Over a number of years we came to an ‘understanding’ that greatly reduced the tension in our relationship. 50% of the time, I’d go rub one out and everybody would be happier for it, 25% of the time she’d 'take one for the team, and I would be happier for it, and the other 25% she’d have a helluva good time too.
Now, I don’t even feel much like asking. (bah, words don’t convey the right meaning…) If I ask, it’s not because I really want it, and if the answer is no, it doesn’t really bug me much. It’s more a feeling that if I didn’t get it, I wouldn’t miss it, and wouldn’t really be upset.
We set aside some time this weekend and everything works :D, it’s just that my libido used to run at a 7 or 8 (on a 0-10 scale) and now it’s a 2 or 3.
It would be a good idea to go see your MD and make sure there is no underlying cause of which this is just a symptom.
I agree with others 40 is too young to have this problem.
No shit! At 40 I was having an affair with a 24-year old and going at it like weasels 7 days a week. At 45 I met my present spouse and we were a daily thing for over a year, cutting back to 3-4 times a week for several years after that.
I could understand losing libido if the OP is very obese and taking meds for BP, etc. But maybe he ought to get a testosterone test by his doctor. They make a cream that you rub on to bring the level back up.
Been hanging on to that one for a while, eh?
What’s to handle? It’s like asking how do you fix not liking broccoli.
Did you happen to marry my ex-wife? I got rid of the frustration of mis-matched libidos by divorcing her after 20 aggravating years. Having to nearly beg for sex is just too damaging to one’s self esteem, and can eventually lead to looking for satisfaction outside the marriage (which is what happened to me). I feel no guilt for having done so and was relieved when the marriage was finally over.
This seems odd at 40. I’m considerably older than you, and I haven’t experienced this. It might be simply the differences between different people as they age, but it might be due to other things. Especially as it is of concern to you, I’d talk to my doctor.
Not at all. The wife and I are on pretty good terms about it. She’s had some pretty severe reproductive issues over the years, and some pretty severe back pain over the last 8 months or so. She’s also been pretty accommodating at trying to meet me in the middle. On the scale:
good lookin 10
smart 10
great for my kids 10
best friend 10
understanding and supportive 10
time in the sack 5
It’d suck to throw everything away because I wasn’t getting as MUCH as I liked.
That’s what I’m starting to think…I saw it with increased hairloss and a change in my vision prescription and just thought…huh…must be that time.