I’ve turned 40. Along with the thinning hair, the change in eyewear prescription and the creaking in my bones, I seem to have misplaced my libido.
I used to get that itch every three days or so…If I got a little sumpin’ sumpin’ twice in a day or so, I’d be good for two weeks. If I was left to my own devices, I’d masturbate nearly daily, and it wouldn’t have the same lasting effect as sex with my wife.
Now? Not so much. I still have the biological abilities, it’s just that the urge isn’t there like it used to be…and doing things manually tides me over for a week or so. easy.
I guess I should be happy it gets my libido nearer in sync to my wife, but I feel like somethings missing. Like somethings wrong. Like I shouldn’t be worried about it, but I am. (You know, hairy chest thumping virility)
It’s not boredom in the bedroom, it’s not that the ‘spark is gone in the relationship’, it’s that the pilot light doesn’t put out quite the heat that it used to.
I think the concern I’m having is making sure it’s ‘normal’, and that I ‘still can’. If that’s the case, then I’ll just have to figure out what I’m going to do with all this free time.
eleanorigby You need the marmosets to make the proper gender change.
MoodIndigo1 I’m open for most anything (a loaded statement to make, considering the topic) and it’s something I should do anyway, based on hitting my 40th b’day.
The desire is there, but the capability is definitely on the wane. Both the wife and I need to take a bit more time cuddling before we’re ready for showtime.
But that’s not so bad, really
Then again, the future looks kind of dim. As that great philosopher Willy Nelson said at the age of 75 “I’ve outlived my dick.”
I read somewhere (maybe in something by Vonnegut?) that Plato was once asked what it was like to be past the age when one’s sex drive controls one’s life.
He said, “It’s like being allowed to dismount from a bucking bronco.”
Sort of: Paul Whitehouse said of Kingsley Amis, “I think it was Kingsley Amis who said it was absolute joy the day that he hit 70 because his libido gave up on him. He said that for 50 years it was like being chained to an idiot.”
I’d be surprised to hear Plato talk about broncos, myself.
I think 40 is way too young to be experiencing this; you might want to talk to your doctor about it. I’m 64, and I’ve just noticed a change in the last few years. And I think it’s more due to medications than age.
