Last week, a colleague whom I have known for sometime, asked me to share with a group of new colleagues the story of how I met my husband because she thought it was such a great story. I tried to tell the tale, but was unable to finish because I started to cry. What I thought was the love of a lifetime has recently ended. But my friend told me, as she hugged me and dried my tears, “ It is still a wonderful story”. So, that is what I have: a wonderful story. Not all fairy tales end happily ever after, no matter how hard you wish.
Here is how I met my husband:
One spring evening, just about 10 years ago, I attended a corporate fund raiser with a friend. She worked for a concrete company and the men she worked with were going to perform “The Full Monty” in the talent show contest and she convinced me should go and have a good time. After all, most of the guys were Italian and she thought they were real hotties. I went along even though I was not in much of a mood to be around a lot of people.
As it turned out, when we arrived, there were about 300 people milling around under the giant tent. It was loud, it was busy, and I felt a bit lost. But once the show got started, I began to relax as it was quite interesting to see some 40-something corporate types let loose while trying to sing, dance, play music, or otherwise let out their inner superstar. In some cases it was downright hilarious.
As the evening wore on and only two acts were left, I heard a voice over the crowd as a man took the microphone and started to talk. His voice was so wonderful and when I looked at him I think I fell in love. That fast. It was as if everything and everyone in that tent faded and I stood, transfixed. He told some silly jokes to buy time as his band mates were setting up. Then, he took out a pair of magic spoons and began to sing and play unlike anything I have ever seen before. He led the band in a lively rendition of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” with comical lyrics he had written. I just stood there. It was the most amazing feeling or event that I had ever experienced.
After the song, he and his band dispersed into the crowd. I did not have the courage to go up and talk to him. But, I did walk by just to see how tall he was (I am a little bit tall). Then, when the evening was over, I went home with my friend, but hardly heard a word she said, as my head was filled with that wonderful voice and the thought that I would like to meet that man.
I could not get him out of my head all weekend long, so on the Monday while back at work, I looked up the name of the company he represented and placed a phone call. I got the receptionist and had to figure out real fast how to ask to speak with someone whose name I did not know.
Her: “May I help you?”
Me: “ Yes, can I please talk with the person who played the spoons at the fundraiser last Friday?”
Her: “Er, yes, please hold”.
I waited nearly five long minutes, and then suddenly, there was that wonderful voice.
Him: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello, you don’t know me, but I saw you at the fundraiser and did not know the spoons could be played. Where did you learn?”
We had a brief exchange and then we rang off. And I found I was still no closer to meeting him. I had no idea if he was single, married, or whatever. I just knew I had to meet him, so I called back and asked for the fax number. I then faxed him a message asking him to meet for coffee.
I figured that if I was not his type, or if it was a complete disaster, then neither of us had to endure an uncomfortable dinner date.
As it turned out, we were perfect for each other. These past ten years have been wonderful, but there have been some very difficult times. I always believed that we could overcome them and that the bad times would not come back. I finally learned that no matter how much love there is, some things just can’t be made right when only one person believes there is a problem.
So, in the end I have a wonderful tale of how I met the love of my life. I still love him dearly and there was a time when I would have given him my last breath. He has loved me like no other and has hurt me like no other. My hope is that he will find a way to make his life whole and healthy. We will each go on in our own way, but what we shared will never be forgotten. It was the best ten years of my life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but I also learned that I needed to set boundaries as to what was acceptable and what was not. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.
