Well, my RA is MIA, but so is Roman, so I think I overreacted. It was just really creepy. Thanks everyone. Sorry I bugged y’all when it turned out to be nothing.
Ariele
Hope that’s the end of it, Rel. I would like to reiterate (again) though, that if you (or anyone, for that matter) are Not Interested in starting a relationship with someone, that is the only excuse you need: “I’m Not Interested.”
No one should ever use the excuse, “I have a fiance.” If you do, you’d better hope that said fiance doesn’t shortly get run over by a bus. You, Rel, wouldn’t have touched this guy with a ten foot pole, whether you had a fiance or not, no?
The whole idea of “I can’t go out with you because I belong to someone else” is insulting, because it implies that you WOULD if you didn’t have this compelling reason not to.
Sorry, Myron, I just thouhgt that “I have a fiance” was more final than “I’m not intrested.” And, no, I would not have touched him with a 10 foot pole, whether or not I havd a fiance.
Do I know you? Not many people call me Rel…
If you don’t know me personaly, please stick to relic. Thanks.
Personally (speaking as a guy) I would take “I have a fiance” as stronger “No” signal than “I’m not interested”. The former says you are already in a relationship that is working for you, the latter just leaves too many unanswered questions about your current marital status… Is she really not interested or is she just brushing me off? Is she not interested in just me or not interested in dating in general?
Just my thought on that.
relic:
Sorry about that, it’s an annoying affectation I have.
Drag: (is it okay if I call you Drag? I’m being annoying again)
Ahem. Dragwyr:
I don’t see the difference between the two.
My point was this: if she’s not interested, she’s not interested. Do you mean that any brushoff that doesn’t include mention of an SO is encouragement for you to try harder?
She is not obligated to answer your unanswered questions. If she does brush you off, do you really need to know whether it’s because she’s not dating, or if it’s just you? Myself, I think I’d be better off not knowing.
Incidentally, I did not mean to directly admonish you, relic. I always get on a soapbox about this “leave me alone because I’m taken” thing because I see so many people who are in the habit of doing it, and I think it’s an ugly trend. I’m not so much in snit about brushers using it as I am about the brushees not being able to take a simple No for an answer. It’s the old “when a girl says no she really means yes” nonsense all over again.
Again, not to disparage you either, Dragwyr. Everybody does it, they’re used to it.
My opinion is: I don’t like it.
It’s Mundane. It’s Pointless. I Must Share.
Not at all, but if she were to say she was involved with somone, I would know not to try anything because she has found somone and is happy with that choice. I won’t be able to change her mind on that. But if she just says that she is “not interested”, I want to know why. Maybe she really does like me and is not ready to date, or she doesn’t like me because I don’t fit her ideal image. Maybe she will change her mind later. Sometimes guys have to do a little convincing for the girl to make the girl realize he is ok to date. The point is that “I’m not interested” doesn’t give enough info for me, and if I don’t know why a girl is not interested, I would be a little more inclined to try asking her again at a later time (No pressure, of course).
Of course, none of this applies to me now as I have been happily married for the past 6 years. 
But a lot of guys seem to think that you being engaged makes it a challenge - I’ve heard the “she’s engaged,not married or dead” quote before now (which raises an interesting point, but nevermind!). So fiance may make it worse. I guess you could combine dragwyr’s & myr’s suggestions into a “I’m not interested & I am in a relationship anyway” statement (without the challenge of the fiance…).