I don’t drink alcohol. I used to drink socially and recreationally, but I started having anxiety attacks (unrelated) and problems with depression and just dumped alcohol along the way because it exacerbated both.
It always manages to come up in social situations and make things awkward, because everyone wants to know WHY I don’t drink. I usually just shrug it off, but if they’re irritating and pushy about it, I’ll mock up a reason like, “I was an alcoholic and I accidentally plowed into a kid while driving drunk” just to shock them into leaving me alone.
I just started a new job, and we’re having our office Christmas party next week. This is awkward enough (since I don’t really know anybody yet, and it’s a SMALL office of like 10 people) since it’s going to be more of a “nice dinner in a restaurant” type party, but I just KNOW that the whole alcohol thing is going to come up since everyone has made a big deal out of how there’s going to be an “open bar, whoo!”
How can I not drink with grace and panache? I’m not the type of guy who’ll just order a soda or whatever. I remember that thread about the guy ordering MILK at the bar, and I wouldn’t dream of doing that either.
So how can I play this cool without coming across like a weird prude to my new coworkers? What sort of drink can I order in this situation that won’t look totally weirdo (maybe a club soda or something)?
“No thanks, I’m not drinking tonight. But please, enjoy yours!”
Doesn’t leave you open to weird accusations of trying to deflate anyone else’s fun, and doesn’t even brand you as the tight ass/recovering alcoholic/religious fundy who won’t drink ever. Not that there’s anything wrong with being any one of those, but it’s tiresome to deal with regardless.
If someone does get pushy, I like Miss Manners’ all-purpose reply best: “Why on earth would you ask such a thing?” delivered in a slightly arch tone of bewilderment. It tosses the responsibility for rudeness right on the person asking inappropriate personal questions without you actually stooping to answer such a thing. It’s designed to distance people, though, so it may not be as useful at a party if you want to get close to people.
If you want a quick, truthful answer, I’d go with, “I’m not a fan of what alcohol does for me nowadays, but please, enjoy your drink!”
I am a recovering alcoholic – and in my 21 years sober, I’ve had exactly one person (a woman renowned for her absolute lack of tact) say “So what, are you an alcoholic or something?” in response to my statement that I don’t drink.
Nine times out of ten, there is no response at all to “I don’t drink.” Occasionally I’ll get “Oh?” or “Why not?” – to which an acceptable answer is “I choose not to.”
I would just order your club soda, sprite, coke or whatever you choose to drink and enjoy it. Unless they hear you order it they won’t know it doesn’t have alcohol in it. If someone offers you an alcohol drink just say ‘No thank you’ or I already have a drink, thanks’. If they find out you’re not drinking alcohol and ask about it, just say ‘I don’t drink’ or ‘I’m not drinking tonight’. If they won’t leave you alone you would be perfectly correct in ending the conversation and walking away from that person.
Your choices are your business, you’re under no obligation to explain them to co-workers.
I stopped drinking a couple of years ago. I would just say something like, “I’m not drinking tonight,” and that would almost always be enough. If pressed, I’d say something like “I’m driving tonight” or “I have to get up early tomorrow.” On rare occasions I’d say “I’m trying to cut down” or “I’m going for a while without drinking” - which also would generally be enough. Another easy one would be to say you are on some medication that doesn’t mix with alcohol.
Whatever you say, be ready to follow up your comment by changing the topic. Your drinking habits need not be a topic of prolonged conversation.
Club soda with lime is an easy “kind of looks alcoholic” drink.
If they ask, just say that you used to go out drinking, but it doesn’t appeal anymore, so you stopped bothering. It’s also nice to know there’s zero chance of a DUI when you drive home.
If you don’t have any problem with lying, just tell them that you’re allergic to alcohol. When they ask “How? What does it do to you?”, tell them that it makes you vomit. Immediately upon consumption.
I’ve always just ordered whatever I want to drink, be it a coke, club soda, iced tea, water…it’s really never been an issue. I doubt anyone at your party will notice or care, honestly–I can’t recall being hassled about not drinking, and on the rare occasions I’ve had somebody even ask about it, I usually simply say, “I don’t drink” and leave it at that. I am a recovered alcoholic, but that’s nobody’s concern but mine and I don’t owe anyone an explanation for my choice of beverage.
I’d think “It doesn’t agree with me” would do the job. It’s an answer that is vague enough to be a non-answer and has enough possibilities that anyone with half a brain will let it drop.
I had a friend who used to use “I’m allergic”. There would be the inevitable “Really?” or some such response, to which she’d follow up “Yeah, it makes me break out in a rash of jails and institutions”. I found it hilarious, but that’s because I knew it was true and that she’d since completely turned her life around. Not one I’d recommend to anyone else, really. It did stop further inquiry cold, though.
If you really feel like you MUST avoid attention on the matter, get there early and order with no witnesses. After that it just “One more, please” . Still, you are bound to be revealed sooner rather than later.
I don’t drink, but I still go out to bars with coworkers. I just tell them I don’t drink. When the question has been asked (and it’s been asked MANY times) I tell them that I like being in control of my faculties, besides, I usually play mom and it’s good to make sure everyone gets home safely. If they add something semi-snotty after it, reply with your shock story, then laugh after it. Chances are they’ll forget their question after they thought they put their foot in their mouth.
I just say, “I’m not much of a drinker.” I’ve never had it be a problem. I will have the very occasional beer or premium tequila but only one and then only in business situations where all of the clients are drinking with a meal.
As Lora Brody said in her party book: For any number of reasons, a guest may refue your offer of a drink. The reason doesn’t have to be explained to anyone, including you.
Would you like a drink?
No.
Why not?
I don’t drink.
Why not?
I don’t drink.
Why not?
I don’t drink…
I have to be honest, if anyone told me they were “allergic” to alcohol, I wouldn’t be able to resist the bait.
“Really, you’re allergic? To something with no amino acids? You know that’s technically impossible, right? You might have a sensitivity or it might exacerbate other medical problems, but the word “allergic” is a specific medical term referring to bronchial constriction in the presence of certain proteins which trigger the histamine response…”
Yeah. I don’t get invited to many parties anymore.
I don’t drink or drive, either. It hasn’t been a problem. Anyone who has known me well enough to ask, I just tell them that it makes me throw up, and there isn’t anything I hate worse than throwing up. I don’t think anyone who hasn’t known me well enough has ever asked. I don’t believe I’ve ever been in a situation where I was required to fool people into thinking I was drinking alcohol. FTR, I am not an alcoholic, I’m just twenty-odd years without a drink and not counting.
