How Do Y'all Wanna Do This?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I thought about how to answer this one much of the day, and the only way I know to answer you about the disclaimer in my sig line is to say that I wanted to see if I could defend my position without having to play the “sympathy card”.

Obviously, I couldn’t. Or I couldn’t that night.

I kept trying to break the whole thing down into its simplest possible form, but nothing was working, although it made sense to my addled brain:rolleyes:.

Very frustrating on my end. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for y’all, not knowing why I was being so obstinate. Sorry for that.

I have lost count of the number of times I have asked myself if I should have posted that “I Suspect I Have Alzheimer’s” thread, and I still don’t know if it was the right thing for me to do, but if you took a peek into my life, you’d see that outside of work and my friends and family in Germany, y’all are pretty much it.

I am not going to lay the blame on others for that. I am very much eccentric and very hard to get to know and I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone in my immediate circle (that is to say, I cannot discuss current events with anyone I work with, because all it gets me is a blank stare).

That is why I like to come here, and yes, there have been times when I have been a jerk here and stayed gone for a while, but having something like this makes you crave crow and makes you want to be with people who care, and so I chose to be with you guys.

Jesus! I don’t want to wear this thing on my sleeve or like some kind of badge! I can still work, drive and carry on a normal conversation (sometimes!:)), so I really don’t want to put “Please overlook my craziness, I have Alzheimer’s” in my sig, and maybe now it isn’t necessary anyway.

I appreciate y’all reading my blog and I appreciate you being there for me more than I can express.

I just don’t have any fast and hard answers, and all I know to do is to keep on with the treatments and the testing, and try my best not to “melt down” again.

Thanks

Bill

22

Naw, trust me, it’s not like that. Just taking one aspect of what you’re doing (like posting the link to your blog in your signature), is helping people. It’s explaining the process to those of us who’ve never seen it up close, it’s urging someone who has been feeling the same way to go get things checked out, it’s demystifying and destigmatizing something scary but real, it’s letting another sufferer not feel so alone and it’s encouraging empathy where maybe none might grow otherwise and that’s necessary.

And those are just a few reasons off the top of my pointy head. In short, you’re performing a service by educating anyone interested. That’s commendable indeed.

23

I sincerely hope I haven’t insulted you by seconding that recommendation, but I stand by it with some qualifications.

  1. If worded properly, I don’t think it would come across as ‘Cut me some slack because of my disease’ but more of ‘Here’s an issue I’m struggling with, and if this post seems well and truly out of line, it is possibly due to Alzheimer’s.’ 99.9% percent of the time it would have zero effect on the way people view and respond to you. But in the event of breakdown in reasoning, it would serve as sort of a circuit breaker that’s tripped before everyone and their brother piles on.

  2. You’ve already posted the fact in your sig, which goes to inform the audience, but I think being a little more explicit about, the message would get across to the more…em…obtuse members of the board, who incidentally seem to be the first ones light the torches for the witch hunts.

Hell you’ve already given carte-blanch to the jackbooted mods ;), why not empower the conscientious posters to run interference or summon a mod if it seems absolutely necessary?

Just my two cents based on my real time reactions to that thread. It’s obviously your call in the end, but I really think that would be the simplest way to avoid another spectacle like that first, and don’t think it would come across as a sympathy play at all, because it would be completely overlooked the vast, vast majority of the time.

-Incensed, who really isn’t trying to be an ass, but sometimes is in spite of himself.

24

No offense taken at all, Incensed. On the contrary, I am gratified that you are taking such an interest and know that you just want to help me avoid having to dodge any more “bullets”.

I’ll work on something short and clever which will get the message across, or if you guys have something in mind, have at it. :wink:

And THANKS!

Bill

25

Quasimodem, I think I was the one who used the phrase “cut him some slack” in a previous thread, but I want you to know that I was not meaning that we should walk on eggshells or not argue with you. Only that, when a breakdown in communication occurs, we should all - you and us - consider that the most likely source of that breakdown might be due to your Alzheimer’s. Not you being drunk or being stupid or being high - all of which were accusations thrown your way, but to having a medical condition that directly affects your communication.

I don’t “walk on eggshells” around Dopers who speak English as a second language, but I do take that sort of information into account when a breakdown in communication seems to be happening or about to happen. In that case, I’ll carefully write without using idioms or extremely complex vocabulary or sentence structure. Not because I think they’re stupid, but because I know that the most likely cause of the breakdown in our communication may be a language barrier. If I can address that to the best of my ability and our communication is STILL breaking down, then I’ll look to other solutions.

Likewise with you. Alzheimer’s or no, we’re not always going to agree on stuff, and that’s FINE. You don’t need to be there-there’d and patted on the head and sent off into a virtual corner. Nor do you need your Alzheimer’s as a scapegoat every time we disagree. But the other night was more than disagreement - it was incoherity and combativeness that were pretty out of character for you. The most likely cause of that is that your Alzheimer’s was getting in the way of communication. And so we table the discussion until your brain is working a little better. It’s not about patronizing you; it’s about understanding how to best communicate.

My 2 cents anyhow. And I have no idea if I’d be on your Trusted Doper list or not, but if you ever want me to review or try to deconstruct a breakdown, I’d be happy to tackle it via PM or email.

26

WhyNot,

Please don’t worry about that phrase. I forgot who said it - it just stuck in my mind.

Thanks for your offer to help. Looks like I’ll be calling on you and a lot of others to help me sift through some things before posting something I don’t fully understand.

My friend and I de-constructed that whole trainwreck, and I am in agreement that it began with my misunderstanding the intent of a sentence. My brain wasn’t processing the information correctly, and once it began, it just “snow-balled”, and could not be turned around.

I am considering it a “major event” and it will get talked about with my counsellor when I see him again.

In short, I am taking this very seriously, and I appreciate everyone standing by me.

Thanks