Like Ms. Attack: tall, pale and bitter.
I like coffee strong, black, and rich. Bitterness should be one component of a more complex flavor; apropos of that, it shouldn’t need to be hot to be drinkable. Temperature extremes, hot or cold, deaden your sense of taste and can cover for a sub-par brew.
I will, rarely, add sugar. I only add cream to bad coffee I’m using merely to get a caffeine fix.
I add a ton of milk (about a 1:1 ratio) to get it to a temperature where I can take great big swigs as soon as possible. I usually add sweetener because otherwise it tastes a bit sour (in addition to bitter) if I don’t.
Black as my soul, hot, and strong.
But I’ll take ‘instantly available’ when low on funds or in a hurry.
Mmmm, I think most of these don’t even qualify for ‘double entendre’ status.
I have been known to like a latte sometimes as well.
My option is missing: Kahlua.
I don’t drink coffee, altho when I was in Sicily, I had cappucino once and espresso once. I just never learned to like the stuff. … till someone introduced me to Kahlua and cream.
The silly children “baristas” at the college coffee shop are shocked shocked when I ask for a regular cup of coffee. They pretend they have never heard of such a thing. I have to ask twice and then they say “Well, I suppose I could take an espresso and water it down with hot water for a caffè americano”. Oh, yes, dear. I forgot that now that you have a green apron you have forgotten the ways of your entire country.