Really? It’s not used like used underwear - it’s perfectly serviceable and it sidesteps the issues of games costing loads (they still cost a fair bit, but nowhere near as much and you might get some via Freecycle). We were given a used X-Box for Christmas one year and were ecstatic.
even sven makes a good point, I agree, but really in my family we all agree not to spend more than $50 on a person. We love getting together and giving gifts, but there’s never been a real emphasis on receiving the latest or best product. With my parents, siblings and their SOs and children it can easily get out of hand.
Maybe part of my issue is that the idea of giving *any *kid an expensive gadget that can easily be misplaced, stolen or loaned out and never returned would be considered silly by most of my family. I adore my teenage niece and she’s a great kid but if she told me she wanted an I-phone more than anything, I’d tell her she’d better start looking for one under $50.
Of course, if her 4-year-old cousin says he wants it, I’ll add it to his wish list, right under the electric razor he’s decided he wants “'cause it looks cool.” 
I used to work in an office where we did the adopt-a-family thing. Now I should note that this was an office where one high-ranking individual bought a $500+ earring & necklace set for a woman she hated, because it was a business gift and she found something that looked like she’d spent a lot more. Another guy spent around $200 on something for a coworker that was basically a joke gift.
So we got this family, and one of the things one of them (11-year-old girl) wanted was a notebook computer. And one of my coworkers had the same kinds of comments people in this thread had, but when she heard about the joke gift for $200, she decided that she could throw her money away a lot more effectively than some people, and this family deserved one super Christmas and she got the girl the notebook computer. She also bought some very nice stuff for the other family members. She said it was probably more than her own rather well-to-do family was spending, but what the hell. She also figured that an 11-year-old girl who wanted a notebook computer instead of clothes could be destined for greatness. And maybe these gifts would inspire the kids in the family to strive a little higher, and try and do better for themselves and their own children.
I don’t know if that happened, but our office did get a nice bunch of thank-you letters from the family.
Regarding kids asking for wildly expensive gifts…when I was working at a local charity during the pre-holiday season, the kids were asked what they wanted separately from where they parents were filling out the “family needs” forms.
When asked what he wants for Christmas, 10 yo Johnny is likely to think the asker really wants to know what he wants not what he needs. He may well say X-Box or Playstation not knowing how much they are worth, just knowing his friends have them. Our workers just wrote out what the kids said. I’m not saying the kid should get an X-box, but kids tend to be literal. Parents who are helping their kids fill out forms should guide them toward practically priced gifts.
I think it’s important for kids to get something “just for fun” for Christmas. Sure they need shoes and clothes and mittens, but I think they also need My Pretty Pony, Pokemon cards, Barbie and glittery nail polish, too if that’s what they want.
What is a luxury to one stranger may be nothing to another. How is the person asking to know what the price range of any given donor might be? I imagine they have no more expectation to get everything on their wishlist than I do with my Amazon wish list.
I’m just at a loss as to how it can be poor manners for someone who has been asked to write a list of their desires down for them to…actually do that.
Right. And maybe a company reads the wish list and says, “We’ll do that this year.” Or maybe a family gets together and buys one big gift for someone else. Or maybe someone like me decides to splurge and buy something I think would really brighten someone’s day. Or maybe everyone at the coffee shop donates ten bucks.
I find it reasonable for people to say what they want when they are asked what they want. They would be foolish to count on getting it, but aren’t fools for asking.
I don’t think it is about what is or isn’t a luxury, really. It just seems to me that something like an x-box or a cell phone is a poor gift choice for someone in a charitable situation. A child obviously won’t understand that and it isn’t wrong to put that on their list but I would hope that any adult helping a child fill out a list for something like this would gently point out that as awesome as an x-box would be that the money involved in making it playable (controllers, games, electric bills, etc) means that it would probably not end up being very useful for very long and that the money that someone could spend on an x-box for them might be better spent getting them gifts that require no upkeep. As great as a kid is going to feel opening an x-box on christmas morning they will feel really horrible when they realize it only comes with one controller and the game that was sent with it kind of sucks and now they need to dig up another $30-$40 to find a decent one player game for their system. Then in 2 months when the fun of that game has worn off they have to come up with the money to buy a new game again.
For the same money it would be much better for the kid to get a leather jacket or bicycle or something that doesn’t require constant financial upkeep. Or hell, you could use that money to get them a really warm jacket, some art supplies, some books, passes to a big movie theater chain, and a set of legos. None of those things require new games or monthly bills and would still be really excellent presents. I would feel horrible if my kid put a bunch of expensive stuff on a list like that and then didn’t get any gifts because no one picked his angel off the tree that year. I would feel even worse if someone bought him an x-box and he ended up not being able to use it and then I couldn’t afford to keep the electric bill on anyway so he was stuck staring at his awesomely useless gift after the holidays.
It isn’t wrong to ask for what you want when given the opportunity to make a list. It also isn’t wrong to point out that the gifts your asking for might seriously impact what kind of holiday you have and encourage you to ask for other things.
There are practical considerations, which honestly aren’t my problem. I can’t know what their situation is, so I’m going to trust them, generally, to know what’s going to be the best gift they could receive. And if they’re wrong, well, who hasn’t been wrong about a present before?
My relative wealth doesn’t make me smarter than the poor about their wants and pleasures.
Getting a game system does not doom you to having to buy the headliner games the day they come out. I grew up in a housing project and had a game system. I usually had one or two high-replay games that the whole family (and every kid in town) would play down to the bone for years on end. Now and then I’d save my allowance and get a used game from the $10.00 bin. A thriving video game barder economy made sure I could get new stuff now and them, and if we absolutely had to try the hip new game, we’d all pool our money and rent it.
Actually, looking back at the thousands of hours I must have logged on that thing- not to mention all my friends, it seems like a pretty good return on investment. A $50 game that you play for years is better than a $10.00 DVD you watch twice.
I generally agree. My point was more about people saying it was poor manners to ask for something that they might consider too pricey. I agree that an X-Box, specifically, may not be the wisest choice.
I agree 100% and will point out that ALL the things on your list TOGETHER don’t add up to the price of an X-Box.
I suppose that anyone can ask for anything at any time, but in this economy, be prepared to have a lot of people who are ordinarily generous charity supporters say “You must be fucking kidding!!!” when they see a $300 toy on your wish list…
I just bought my teenaged son a new Xbox 360 from Walmart. It is not the one with the large harddrive, nor does it include the new Kinect motion controller. I paid $200 for it last weekend, not $300 like everyone is claiming in this thread. (You can pay more for the extras I mentioned, but you do not have to)
I think it’s in bad taste to ask for luxury items because if the family has their basic needs covered, then the charity should go to a family who doesn’t even have that. I’d rather my money go to a family who doesn’t have money for food and clothing instead of a family who wants to upgrade their clothing and electronics.
Here is one of our very own Dopers who had the appalling nerve to ask for a gaming system for Christmas.
It’s a pretty standard gift request.
From his mother, whom he knows is ready to drop $300 on him for a piece of entertainment equipment.
For some people seeking gifts from charity, the Wii is just as far out of reach as a new Lexus, so why not ask for that as well?
No one is forcing you to give to charity. I’m sure you can find someone you deem worthy.
Because a Lexus isn’t the sort of thing that normal everyday families give each other for Christmas. An XBox is. Nobody in that thread even blinked about the idea of a game system as a gift. It’s a pretty pricey gift for sure, but given the way that sales surge at Christmas time, it seems like plenty of people make gifts out of them.
If a kid told me they want Santa Claus to bring them pencils and undies, I’d probably cry. Not because of the poverty, but because that kid already learned to give up. They already internalized that the real Santa only comes for the rich kids, dreams are for others, and that they’ve basically gotta keep their heads down and make sure they don’t offend the rich people.
The OP was “How do you feel about expensive adopt-a-family requests?” I was giving my opinion on that. I never mentioned anything about being forced to give. What is your point?
They should ask for whatever they want and realize the higher the price the more likely they will get nothing. It’s not my problem if they get something or not. I don’t bitch that somebody got a break and something nice either. Good for them. To bad it can’t happen all the time for everyone.
You said it’s in bad taste because it isn’t how you want to spend your charitable money. But you can assess it and spend your money where you like. No one is forcing you to do anything. So why is someone else having a different preference “bad taste”? How does it actually impact you at all, other than giving you a reason not to give? If they already have their basic needs met but don’t ask for a luxury item you may inadvertently give to the not-as-needy. Since you don’t want that, you should be in favor of people asking for luxury items so you don’t risk that fate.