Where I used to work, the servers that run the entire store were in our office and the a/c was not adequate. My coworker and I had tried everything, but we would hear from the HO “The readout says it’s blowing sixty degrees in there”
At one point, my coworker screamed at someone “Look! You have two sweatyboobied women working in here!! We can’t take it!!!”
That and an email to a higher manager? Suddenly a new a/c.
Yeah, I had a manager once for whom the idea of boobies often led to lowering the AC. He didn’t agree with the conventional wisdom that it’s rude to point.
It’s hotter than the Devil’s dick in a pair of heated Speedos.
It’s so hot I saw a bird pull a worm out of the ground with an oven mitt.
It’s so hot the cows are giving evaporated milk.
It’s so hot the cornfield popped.
It’s so hot Astros fans are taking the bags off of their heads.
Not my line but I always remember the line from Good Morning Vietnam
“It’s hot! Damn hot! Real hot! Hottest things is my
shorts. I could cook things in it.
A little crotch pot cooking.”
It’s so hot … I can fry eggs on my Camaro
Incidentally, this can also be worded as “It’s so hot, yo daddy took the bag off yo mamma’s head,” thus acheiving double points for the rare “it’s so hot/yo mamma” joke perfecta.
It’s hotter than two foxes fuckin’ in a forest fire.
Its so hot the devil went home
That was Dave Barry, trying to buy an air conditioner (one of his best lines).
Also: It’s hotter than a snake’s ass in a wheel rut. (Williams channeling Walter Cronkite)
It was so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat, and they were both on fire.
It was so hot… I saw a raccoon boiling a robin in a birdbath.
… Tom Brady was deflating footballs to feel the cool breeze.
… I saw a dog chasing a cat… and they were both walking.
It’s so hot, the weatherman will tell you
A record’s been made.
It’s so hot, a coat of tan
Will cover your face in the shade.
It’s so hot, the coldest maiden
Feels just as warm as a bride.
It’s so hot, a chicken laid an egg on the street
And it fried.
– Irving Berlin, “Heat Wave”
It’s so hot that … it’s,
Too hot to hooT!
CMC fnord!
Go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog!
My dad was a child in the '30s and '40s. He told me he remembered one day it was so hot…
A farmer was plowing his field with a mule-drawn plow. The field next to him had been planted with corn. It was so hot the corn started popping! Well, this popped corn was flying all over the place including onto the farmer and his mule. The mule saw all of this popcorn falling down on him, thought it was snowing, and lay down and froze to death!
Now that’s freakin’ hot.
My son shared a poster on facebook that said: I’m not saying it’s hot in Arizona, but two hobbits just threw a ring in my yard.
It’s so hot that I’m going keep parting my hair this way.
It’s so hot I can’t even finish this…
