Having children is usually the closest thing to divinity that any human being will ever experience. So, it is usually not strange to hear someone at nearly an age old enough to comprehend the concept express a desire to have children. I think that most of us can agree that most 16 year olds THINK that they have all the answers to their future…until they turn 18…and then 22…and then 30 (so on and so on).
Oh, and I’d like to add that Zenster is becoming my hero. 
Well, I read NinjaChicks post and I respect what she had to say. However, I know that when I was 16 I didn’t really know shit about a lot of stuff. Trust me, when you get older your outlook on life changes.
My second wife was mulato, my family had no problems with it. My younger brother had been dating a Phillipino gal for a couple of years before I met Jane. 2 of her brothers had a problem with me though, They felt their heritage was black only even though their mother was white. Even though Jane and I ended our marriage consentually (she accepted a job offer on the east coast, I did not want to go), I am still great friends with her parents and still call them Mom and Dad. Her brothers have also come around, one of them married a white gal.
When I was a little girl, my mom told me I should try to be a dentist when I grow up. I thought that was the worst idea in the world. I could not imagine having to go and dig around in people’s mouths with sterile lab equipment every day.
I’ve grown up sice then, and I still can’t imagine doing that. It’s not a career I would strive towards. Ever. Good money. Whatever. Not for all the tea in China.
You could argue that, as women, it’s our “biological destiny” to reproduce, and therefore different from making a particular career choice. However, it’s not as though every woman in the world is having babies left and right, and loving it. Obviously, there are some happy women who chose not to have kids. And who’s to say that at age 16 or 12 or 5 they didn’t already know that they didn’t want anything to do with babies?
I don’t want kids, never have. Maybe I AM to young (20) to say definitively that I’ll never have kids, but I’ll tell you right now that there would have to be some inconcievably huge changes in my life for me to actively try to have a kid.
Sorry for the hijack above… SAMARM, why would you think that your gf telling you she doesn’t like black pple makes you racist?
Loving someone in spite of their faults is a great thing. I don’t think it makes you any worse of a person if you can stand something like that in a person you love.
On the other hand, is it just that she’s too hot for you to care?
i’m the product of an interracial/cultural marriage, whichever you would like to call it. my mother is iranian, my father american. on my mother’s side we have so many different cultures intertwined that it doesn’t really matter. i personally don’t have a problem with these types of marriages.
i think most parents that have a problem with it are more concerned about the grandchildren. whether or not they’ll look like them and what they’ll have to face growing up. growing up for me wasn’t easy, but i’d never trade my heritage for that “easy” childhood.
monica, never is a very strong word to use at any age. there is always a possibility that you will change your mind. the chance may be slight, but it is there.
Well, as the last woman I scratched off my list was “different” (black), I’m guessing I’d be all right with it.
(It was religious differences that killed it, BTW.)
I’ve been in a long-term relationship with a Thai, so I’m not opposed to interracial relationships. In fact, I’m heavily in favor of them, since I think the only way to eradicate racism is to eradicate races. So go breed with white, black, yellow, brown, red and purplish green, and one day there will only be one beautiful race and we will have to think of new things to hate each other for.
However, in the interest of absolute honesty:
In Sweden, it’s not blacks we are severely prejudiced against, but we do have many immigrants from former Yugoslavia. As is the case with poor immigrants all over the world, they live in areas of their own, have very little money, are often unemployed and feel alienated by their new nation.
Thus, their youngsters, influenced by the more male-dominated culture they’re from, often form gangs and generally act the dickhead. Because of this, I do have prejudice against young Yugoslavian men. And if my future daughter brought one of them home and he acted as those are wont to do, I would see a gangster and be worried for my daughter until I’d seen proof that he wasn’t an asshole.
But it’s not the interracial thing in itself, and I’m actually surprised to se so many think that most people would have a problem with it. Cultural trans-Atlantic differences, I suppose.
Priceguy, it is not a question about most people having problems with it. Most people in Europe don’t have problems with interracial relationships, at least so it appears. The thing is that some people have major problems with it and act on it too. You only need one person around who gets agressive.
There has been a thread a month or two ago where it was pointed out that white male/non-white female couples are usually not given any trouble, but non-white male/white female does run into some opposition. Since your relationship belonged to the first type, you (luckily) would not have personally experienced much difficulty. On the other hand, I’m an Asian guy and have experienced the occasional negative remark when being with a white girlfriend. Fortunately these things are rare, but they do exist, in Europe too. I should add that these things occur, if they do, mostly with complete strangers on the street. When meeting people in a face-to-face environment (parties etc.) I’ve never experienced any negative vibes or so.
Going back to the OP, I (obviously) don’t have a problem with interracial relationships. Being raised in an almost exclusively white environment, there was hardly a choice. My brothers and sister have for the main part had ‘white’ SO’s. My parents have never showed any concern about this.
TTT, I realise that the few that are vocally against interracial relationships are very vocal, and very loud. What I meant was the general sentiment “while you may say you’re not opposed to interracial relationships, when it comes close to you you realise that you are”. It feels weird to me; it’s totally alien.
I understand such sentiments in other situations, such as when a child reveals he/she is homosexual, because, let’s face it, everyone wants grandchildren. That’s not to say I would object to my children being homosexual (in fact I’d encourage it, since I can’t help noticing that 99% of all the bad shit in the world is done by straight males, and the less contact my children have with straight males, the better), but at least I understand the first negative feeling a parent has when told.
Well, I’m in an interracial marriage (White/Asian), so I’ll have to deal with it no matter what. Doesn’t bother me.
Religion, on the other hand, has more potential to be a problem.
PriceGuy, sorry if my post was snippy. I didn’t mean to imply that you would have any of those sentiments. Your actions (re: your previous relationship) speak for themselves. :)Your commendable honesty about the reasoning behind your reluctance with people of Yugoslavian descent makes very clear that you are not who tries to ignore negative feelings. I’d be very happy if everyone was as good at this kind of self-knowledge. FTR, I can understand that kind of reluctance as well, I’m not completely free of that either (if that is even possible).
I only tried to point out that some of the other posters meant that societal problems may occur, without implying that a majority is against interracial relationships. If I unintentionally offended you, or if my post reads like an accusation in any manner, I most sincerily apologize. There is nothing in your post that warrants such an accusation. Are we cool again?
TTT, we were never anything but cool. I did not read your post to be offending or an accusation in any way, and if I sounded like I did, then I apologize.
Would my parents care? No.
As long as he was Christian or Jewish (or with no strongly held religious beliefs and tolerant of mine) and treated me well, I don’t think they’d have any problems.
My mum’s best friends are an Irish former Catholic priest and his Masaai wife.
Would my Grandmother care…woo boy.
She was born into a white, Catholic, middle-class family in South Africa in 1915. And while she would never say (or think) anything offensively racist, she would be SERIOUSLY put out. To her way of thinking the culture gap would be too big.
Oddly, she doesn’t trust Protestant men (she loves irishfella though), thinks Catholic men want you to have 17 kids, and has told me in the past that if a Jewish man was good enough for her etc, and I should keep my eye out!
Me, I think some things are more important than colour.
Religion, family background, political beliefs, personal ethics, hobbies and past-times, all have more bearing.
Not that you have to be the same, but you have to be able to live with the differences.
I’m an Asian girl going out with a Scottish/English/Welsh guy and if I ever had kids it would be pretty hypocritical of me to disapprove. Both my sister and I have dated white guys and my parents don’t mind - in fact, they adore my boyfriend: he goes to all our family functions and mum often asks whether he’s next coming over.
I know a couple of young Asian guys who disapprove of Asian women going out with Caucasians because it’s so common and they feel like “their” women are being poached away from them.
My son dates women of color almost exclusively. He just seems to be attracted to darker women. One was black and native american, one was hispanic, and the current one is an unknown at the moment. I won’t be meeting her until Easter. But he never tells me in advance. They just kind of show up and there we all are! I think it’s great.
What? Do you have problems with storks? 
Zev Steinhardt
Product of interracial marriage, here. I think my parents would have been very disappointed if I’d limited myself to half WASP/half Japanese boys. There aren’t too many of them around my neighborhood.
I’m beige, and my husband is white. No problem.
Invite me to a family get-together sometime, Guin. I’ll pretend to be your mail-order bride. I can do a good imitation of not speaking English.
My favorite story about inter-racial marriage:
A black friend’s cousin was getting married to a white guy. I asked my friend if her family had any problems with it. They hadn’t been pleased when my friend had dated white guys. She laughed, and said, “They’re telling everyone 'It’s okay; he’s not white–he’s Irish.”
My mom was not thrilled about my relationship with SkipMagic (who is a lovely shade of pink with a pale, freckled ass :D). She was hoping that I’d find a nice, Black doctor, dentist, or lawyer.
But honestly, I think her reaction stems mostly from the perception that society will make our lives difficult (as others have said). I mean, the woman is 73 years old–she’s lived through segregation, etc., and is judging the situation from her own experience, which dictates that interracial couples have a harder time of it because they’re not accepted by society.
(Case in point: about a year or so ago, one of my (White, male) friends was looking for a house. I offered (OK, begged–I love going to open houses) to go house-hunting with him, and my mother suggested that this was a bad idea, because if the realtor thought I was his (gasp–BLACK) girlfriend or wife, he’d have a harder time getting a house.)
Now, of course, she adores Skip (moreso, in fact, than she does me), but that was never the issue. Still, she’s been quite accepting lately. I’m proud of her crotchety old ass. But really, my being engaged to Skip is NOTHING compared to the fact that my sister married a Nigerian! :eek: 