I’d recomment flirting with Random Strangers on an Internet Message Board. 
And if not, at least you’ve gained the amusement of reading P.G. Wodehouse, always a worthwhile endeavor.
If only that worked…
Stranger
I’m trying, I’m trying!!
So, how YOU doin?
SO, how you doin?
So, HOW you doin?
So, how you DOIN?
Humm, I feel better already…
So, how you doin’?
See? It’s easy if you really put an effort into it 
Glad flirting with a Random Stranger makes you feel better
You want me to be more Random? Or Stranger? 'Cos “Stranger” is easy…
Stranger would be good.
You know - I have this fantasy that involves me meeting someone - preferably a male someone - who doesn’t find me “odd”.
As of right now, I’m not holding my breath. 
Seriously - I’m sure someone out there would find me perfectly normal. I just don’t know who that is…
How about “Curiouser and curiouser”?
But of course you’re odd. Now if there were two of you, then you’d be even! At least, out of your fantasy, I’m a male someone. And you can always get even…
Well, all I know is that if I ever see you as normal, that will probably mean that you are strange indeed 
Seriously here too – I’m sure there is someone like that out there. Or several somebodies.
I don’t find you odd, I find you stunning (of course, I’m probably on your ignore list right now). Seriously, folks, alice has been generous enough to post her pic in a few of the photo threads, and she looks like a red headed Audrey Hepburn. I really can’t understand why no one’s snagged her before now. I mean, if she showed up my place and wanted to do something as bizarre as just sit around and eat belly button lint, I’d be cool with that. Not merely because she’s a massively hot babe ('cos she is), but because she’s shown herself on these boards to be warm, witty, and highly intelligent. Heck, if she didn’t live in the frozen north, I’d be willing to move closer to her and stalk her!
alice, I"m sorry you’ve got a broken heart, and I wish I had some good advice for you. The last broken heart I had damned near killed me, and I’ll be on anti-depressants for the rest of my life because of it. Still, I wouldn’t trade my memories of that relationship for anything. The best I can tell you is to enjoy what you had, and take comfort that the next time you fall in love, it will be so much better than had before, you’ll forget about the pain you’re in now. (At least, that’s how it’s worked for me in the past.) In the meantime, try to have some hot monkey sex, it may not make you feel all that better, but at least you’re getting some nookie!
Huh, I’ve never noticed her posting any of her pictures, and I have a vested interest in knowing since I a) live in the same town she does and b) enjoy good looking redheads in all ways concievable. A link, perhaps?
I’m around here somewhere…
Actually - I’m not red anymore tho…
I colored my hair sort of dark chocolate brown, so now I REALLY look like Audrey Hepburn.
Here I am.
Wow… beautiful inside, beautiful outside. Your girlfriends must secretly hate you and I’ll bet your parents brag about you from dawn til dusk.
Sorry about that guy breaking your heart. You really need one of those old heavy telephones so you can slam it down hard next time he calls. It’ll make you feel much better.
Don’t beat yourself up over the ex; these things happen, and you will get past it. Honest. As for getting hurt by a Creep, even Superman had kryptonite…
(feel better soon)
Actually, he’s been calling quite a bit…
grrrr - I DO need one of those phones!
Please forgive my noticing, but I liked your location listing. (“Down the rabbit, whole!”)
It reminds me of a poem by Bill Grossman:
Timothy Tunney
Swallowed a bunny
The bunny got lodged in his throat.
“That bunny looks funny.”
His Mom said, “But Honey,
Be thankful it isn’t a goat.”
I thought you were half joking, but I must admit the resembelence to Audrey Hepburn IS rather striking.
Yeah I’d say mend that broken heart by getting right back on the horse again. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble.
And let me know if you’re ever in the Washington DC/VA area, you can take me on one of those fancy dinner/martini dates!
It’s a bit wacky. Depending on how I have my hair I’ve actually had people ask if I was an impersonator. (I’m not.)
…of one of the most beautiful women the world has ever seen?
You could do worse.
Just finished an audiobook on the history of American musical theatre, so time to watch My Fair Lady again.
So, uh, where should I mail the cheque?
I think he’d rather you checked the male.