Ike:
boat 'bot\ n. [ME boot, fr. OE bat: akin to ON beit] (bef. 12c) 1: a small vessel propelled by aors or paddles or by sail or power
actually, propelled by oars - I have no idea what aors are.
What about a canoe? What if there’s a little man in it? What then? Huh? Well?
In general, the thing that gets our motors revving are: getting a good night’s sleep, having our toddler spend the night with the grandparents, and having low job stress. Once the distractions, stress, and exhaustion are brought under control, it’s amazing what can happen.
Boat: hole in the water into which the owner pours money for the purpose of going nowhere at great expense and discomfort.
Well, of course you can. Though with Dopers, it is bound to start arguements that will probably turn all of our stomachs: "Wall? I wouldn’t call it a wall, exactly. For example . . . "
Well have you tried talking to him about this?
That might be good. Maybe he is having internal problems and that is interfering with his ability to express physical love to you.
A very inexpsive way to do this would be to write out a fantasy starring the two of you and leave the file open on your computer at home. I know it would be tough to actually sit down and write it out but think about it and work on it for a while.
What love life?
Ooooo gotta love those sex toys. The “rabbit” is especially nice, but any attention to the general area is very very good. Personal lubricant is essential before inserting anything even if there is plenty of natural lubricant there already. Astroglide is truly the best. (I prefer lite) I saw a one gallon jug of it at a Hustler Hollywood store that I thought was hysterical. It was over 50 buck though.
I think that the OP refers more to sparking the urge rather than the act itself so let me tell you what works for us. It is true that sexual appetites do wax and wane and sometimes it is difficult to be perfectly in sync so anything you can do to remind each other why you fell in love and how truly great the sex is will do. Focus on what turns each of you on.
My hubby likes it when my bikini area is freshly groomed, so I will mention it to him in a casual offhand way during dinner that oh by the way, I shaved today. Give em something to think about way in advance of going to bed. The more time elapsed the better.
In this same vein, I will lay a sexy outfit on his pillow (maybe a sexy toy even) for him to find when he gets home and then hours before we go to bed I take extra time to arrange the bed and bath as if for a orgy. Incorporate whatever you both enjoy as long as it is sensual.
I like lots of extra pillows, soothing music, candles, incense, maybe a bowl of grapes, wine glasses (bottle chilling in the fridge of course), massage oil, lampshades draped with red silk scarves (which might come in handy later) for relaxed sweet and spiritual lovemaking.
For messier play as in a full body almond oil massage using any body part except your hands, fun with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, honey, raspberry jam or whatever, a sleeping bag on the floor (in front of the fireplace maybe?) covered with a sheet and piled with pillows may be better. Myself I could never relax for worrying about messing up my good sheets, pillow shams, down comforter etc. The shower together afterward can be especially nice and you just may find that when you finally get into your soft comfy bed it may be time for an encore.
Sometimes when you want to be a little raunchier, harder music, a variety of sex toys, a new or favorite porn tape in the vcr, a manual illustrating new or unusual games or positions might be just the thing.
I have a book -Sexual Energy Ecstasy by David Alan Ramsdale and Ellen Jo Dorfman that focuses on tantric lovemaking and has been supremely helpful, but any similar book is good for a reference.
Lots of good ideas to choose from here. For me, however, if my (former) wife played the scenario Spritle describes above, I would be eager to please and impatient for sex every day for the next couple of weeks!
So where did you say you live, Spritle?
Wow, that “partner” thing sounds like a pretty novel idea! I gotta try that sometime!
:rolleyes: Sex toys? It sounds to me like he’s either tired or stressed out, not in need of sex toys.
Also, what are your ages? A woman’s sex drive tends to increase with age and a man’s tends to decrease. So if you’re both in your 40s, he could just naturally be slowing down while you’re speeding up.
Get him to communicate (but don’t whine or nag!). If he won’t, then keep doing the touching/hugging/cuddling on your part. Eventually he’ll come around.
Thank you! scribbles frantically
Although I doubt you would want to desensitize your butt before rimming. That would kind of defeat the purpose, methinks. And rimming does not hurt (at least, I can’t imagine how it would.)
Then you are Canadian.
The little man in the canoe—Bwahaahhhhaaa. 
I don’t think it’s the age thing–he’s 22. I know that my sex drive has increased recently because I started on the Pill…at one point, a breeze could turn me on. I felt like what I imagine a 14 year old boy does. Things aren’t much better now.
Thanks for all the great responses. Many of them have been so reasonable that they’ve had a calming effect on me.
This is my last week of school, and he has next Monday off, so we’ll have a nice 3 day weekend together. I have began to cook up some plans for that. Also, I’ve decided that next week is going to be the Week of 1000 Arousals. It’s going to be a very nice week for him…ideal even.
FTR, I don’t like astroglide. It’s too…I odn’t know…not good. I perfer KY.
And from my post, I also prefer not to spellcheck. :rolleyes:
I prefer spit, sweat, or cum from the last round. <shrug> Just call me Miss Natural! 
It was mostly oils and things. A few small toys though 
And yes. it was the act of looking at the toys and thinking/talking about when we would do with them that did the trick.
It was mostly oils and things. A few small toys though
And yes. it was the act of looking at the toys and thinking/talking about when we would do with them that did the trick.
Go out and do something fun! I went out Tuesday night and ended up dancing with my date. Unnexpected that she’d like to dance, even more so that she had no sense of rhythm, but we had a great time, and we had a GREAT evening (for all those keeping up with my previous posts in the Pitt about my inability to function well with women, I DIDN’T PISS HER OFF!!! Maybe my luck is changing, no? ).
So get out of the house and do something fun. Doesn’t have to be sexual, doesn’t have to necessarily lead to sex. But if you get out and have fun with one another again, it will definitely spawn the “Man, we haven’t done this in a while” feelings, and quite possibly the “Hey, we haven’t done a LOT of things in a while” thinking, and that could lead to something nice. If anything, getting all sweaty from dancing could lead to a nice couple shower and dancing close leads to hugs, which lead to snuggles. But maybe that’s just me.
Another vote for taking it easy and trying to find more time, with the emphasis on taking it easy. If it helps, a cruise worked for my wife and me–a week alone with little to do but hang out and…
(No I’m not suggesting that you shell out two grand, but you might be able do a night in a hotel, go camping or do something else where you two have nothing to do but be together.)
BTW, I held off on posting as Manda JO seemed to have the SD on this one. I’ll second everything she said.