Kudos for the Ira Levin paraphrase. Well done!
(Youtube video) Tim Wildser posted this review which he titled * God Bless the USA Bible 
An Honest Review of the Bible Endorsed by Donald Trump*. I did not go looking for this review and I had never heard of this gentleman before tonight. The video just showed up in my feed, I guess because I already subscribe to a similar channel about the Book of Mormon. I did subscribe to Wildsr’s channel because the topic interests me: he reviews Bibles. Now that may sound funny, but there are a number of Bibles published: different translations, layouts, etc.
A few things stand out from this review.
- Cost. The thing, including shipping, costs over US$70. This is way over-priced, as Wildser explains later in the review.
- Customer Service. I was a bit shocked when Wildser showed how the tome was packaged and delivered. There was the very bare minimum of effort (if you can call it that) in getting the Bible to him. It was not boxed. I honestly do not remember the last time I saw an unboxed Bible for sale. This was just dropped in a mailing pouch and there was nothing on the outside of the pouch to indicate what was inside. This led to a couple of problems mentioned later in the review.
- Copyright and publication data. These are absent. The typesetting copyright is provided. Wildsr stated that, in his experience, Bibles published without publication data are usually printed in China. Wildsr further stated he was certain this Bible was not printed in the United States; otherwise, that would be “proudly mentioned”.
- Construction (Binding). Wildsr said that although he was informed the Bible’s cover would be genuine leather, it was not. In fact, the cover is incredibly cheap fake leather which already had nicks in it. There is a presentation page (that’s where you write a message to the person you’re gifting the Bible to) which Wildsr stated looks like it was from Zondervan. (I wonder if Zondervan had that pattern copyrighted.) Since Zondervan backed out fo the project, I feel it’s a bit tacky to be using their presentation page.
- Construction (printed matter). The paper is too thin and thus there is shadowing from the text on the other side of the page, making it heard to read. Also making reading dificult is the typesetting choice: it’s incredibly crowded. As Wildsr was showing the contents–and he was obviously very careful, showing his experience as a reviewer–a few pages ripped because they were stuck together.
- Content. This is the bare-bones King James (Authorized) Version. That means it does not have the entire KJV, just the 66 books accepted by most Protestant denominations. There were no footnotes, no cross references, and no topical guide. If I recall correctly, it just went sraight from the Old Testament to the New Testament, without the dividing page or pages I usually see in printed Bibles. Immediately after that was the first verse of Greenwood’s anthem, signed by Greenwood. This is followed by the Declaration of Independence. Then there’s the Constitution. Well, there’s the original Constitution. That’s followed by the Bill of Rights. I noted that the headings for the Bill of Rights were very difficult to read. Yes, you got that right. It does not contain the entire Constitution. Finally, there’s the Pledge of Allegiance. (Yes, I now there’s a very good argument, IMHO, to be made that the POA contradicts the Biblical commandments.) Wildsr said he found having the POA in this Bible to be offensive.
My takeaway: This publication is a slap-together job, almost certainly not printed in the USA, and quite likely printed in China, with horrible product delivery, and is just one more grift.
For some odd reason, I got the reviewer’s name wrong. The name is Tim Wildsmith. Mea culpa.
Did we really need that information to conclude it was an obvious grift?
Without that review, would you have known that is was a cheap-ass grift? After all, the trumperrhoid is well-known for delivering only the best value grifts.
Dan
Not really, but that was an interesting blow-by-blow takedown. Way to trash God’s word, Donnie, just to make a buck. Not that we’re surprised. 
Where are those lightning bolts when you need them?
The purchasers of the Trumpy Bible will never know what a shitty product it is, because they will never open it. It is meant to go next to the Trump shrine in the living room, beside the golden idol of Trump.
I wonder if there’s a market for those. You know, like a 12-inch Trump idol. I’m sure they could be made very cheaply in China. Since Trump is a public figure, could his image be used?
Here’s one for sale currently on ebay. I think it’s 3D printed.
“What’s that…?”
“It’s supposed to be Donald Trump.”
“It looks like a Fartin’ Gnome…”
Maybe you’d prefer a genuine Trump Caganer figure
I was actually thinking of something Trump cultists would buy, but is too subtly derogatory for them to notice.
For them, it’s probably like ringing a dinner bell…
The Devil is in the details.
The head broke off my Trump toilet brush today while I was swishing around the bowl.
What pisses me off is that it was not the real Trump.
I’ve wondered about the Political department here after Trump dies and the Republican party hasn’t anyone toward being sycophantic. I cringe to think a ceremonial piece of used handiwipe or the stained rest of his party’s T-P roll could be a mainstay of this site.
But there are other major themes here that I love. Having informal pen pals is a perpetual thrill for sure. I even got to write to an unknown work associate from my employer who happened to be on this site. If this site weren’t here, that never would’ve happened!
Other themes: I love reading the Dopers when they talk about education, technology, govt operations, nature, intl relations etc. These topics don’t appear in my line of work.
In short I appreciate people here in a big way! And you’ll have to pardon my smarmy little jive in the Pit here.
Those who justify their cultish devotion to Trump with the rationale ‘He’s God’s Chosen One’ probably ignore the braggadocio. (That’s one of the Trump Features that ‘we don’t take him literally but we do take him seriously’ was invented to excuse.)
You do have to wonder why they (apparently) believe that God was unable to find someone to Choose who wouldn’t require so much ignoring and excusing, though.
Smarmy little jive is always appropriate in the Pit. (And thanks for the kind words.)
Well, it’s a faulty design. The idea that after contact with Trump, something would be left cleaner is just impossible.
He hasn’t said anything yet but I bet Trump is going to put out a statement about how “Iran never would have done this if I was in charge” regarding the Iranian attack on Israel today.
God is testing their faith.
Their version of God is quite a dick.