And in theory a good piece of rubber would let you fling it a ways.
I’ve noticed that most security guards aren’t trained to identify (or even notice!) a trebuchet. They’re so focused on looking for guns or fingernail clippers that I often attend rallies and academic lectures while pulling a seven-foot-tall wooden trebuchet behind me.
It would fit nicely in one of those T-shirt guns (attempts innocent look).
Like one of these?
A remarkable amendment, the Second…
I dropped a pineapple on my bare foot once. I said bad words, cleaning up a sploded pineapple was a bother and the pokey things left little holes in my skin.
I got over it.
Pineapples contain the enzyme Bromelain. Bromelain digests proteins. So when you eat a pineapple, it’s eating you! 
Yeah, but trumpy doesn’t get over anything. A grudge is forever. Like a diamond…
You could also throw a coconut, although it’s not really a fruit per se. But it would make a comical -bonk- sound when it connected with his noggin.
Maybe a pumpkin…
An empty, hollow sound.
No bonk. It’s clear the head is an empty sack perpetually inflated by an unending stream of hot air
Every now and again I’ll say that to people and no one ever recognizes the quote.
I think I’d bring this along:
I’m imagining the can ruptures and the paste gets out and all over. “Oh God, I’ve been shot! I’m bleeding out!!!”
That might land you on trial in The Hague.
I lived in Hawaii where you could get BIG field-ripened pineapples at farm stands. They are bigger, juicier, riper, and stronger than any shit you find in supermarkets outside of Hawaii. I used to eat entire such pineapples in one sitting (or maybe two). I always said it would dissolve the plaque right off your teeth, and the excess juice could be used to clean the rust off your chrome bumpers, or perhaps for rocket fuel.
No surprise here. But damn!
Blecccccch.