But this anecdote illustrates why he appeals to so many people. I can think of any number of people in my life who pride themselves on gut reactions based on what they already know (or think they know), as opposed to having to sort through all kinds of new information (i.e., meaningless details). “Let’s kill the guy I’ve heard of” fits perfectly with that line of thinking.
I think that he was being deliberately, and in his mind cleverly, ambiguous. This way if either candidate wins he can declare that that was the Eric he meant. This isn’t the first time he tried to do that that.
You bleedin’ well do, and I’ve got one! Here!
Are all your heads named Eric?
Eric told you to ask that, didn’t he?
Has anybody seen all three candidates in the same room?
Well, he was known for getting bored partway through the daily security briefings and going into the next room to turn to Fox News on the telly. That’s why his staff came up with one-page summaries.
Speaking of FAUXnews:
The opening paragraphs of this story totally cracked me up:
Years ago, before our nation devolved into a fascist Cracker Barrel that lets Texas Sen. Ted Cruz loiter in the bathrooms for unnervingly long periods of time, Fox News and Donald Trump jumped into bed together. They eventually birthed a creepy vestigial twin with no host, and it instantly latched onto our body politic like a Peruvian spider monkey mistaking Rep. Louie Gohmert’s head for a remaindered Sara Lee pound cake. (Hey, you try Googling “foods that look like Louie Gohmert’s head” and see if you do any better. I’m trying my best here.)
Well, for the moment at least, it looks like Splitsville for Trump and the Murdochs. Trump hasn’t appeared on Fox News for more than 100 days, and the network appears to be searching for a new “populist” Sith Lord to merrily micturate* upon the rich, nougaty heads of its audience.
…So what gives? Is the honeymoon really over and, if so, who gets custody of the lawless orc horde?
…
The end of the romance is always so sad…the pictures, the letters, the keepsakes, the private jokes…but time wounds all heels er, time heals all wounds…
*micturate = urinate
Gosh, a transactional relationship with his nibs on the losing end. Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it?
Sidenote: I’m proud to say micturate has been in my vocabulary for decades. In a science-fiction story a robot waiter walks up to a couple having breakfast and inquires, “More coffee, sir?” He sticks his mug under a faucet in the 'bot’s torso which fills it, “a process so akin to micturation,” his companion was a bit taken aback, not having experienced it before.
All-right-y! That goes on your Permanent Record Card in the Vocabulary section.
It’s also featured in film. The Big Lebowski says he bears no responsibility if somebody mistook the Dude for him and micturated on his rug (which really did tie the room together).
It’s also mentioned in an episode of the Fargo TV show, in which a probation officer who supervises felons providing urine tests complains that he has “only one pair of shoes that hasn’t been micturated on.”
Not possible. He’s just plain stupid.
Note that I wasn’t claiming that he was actually clever, but just that thinks he was.
So, can other Erics be voted for as write-ins?
Only by other Erics. I think that’s the law in Missouri.
“How did you choose this particular Eric?”
“I chose him out of thousands. The others were all too flat.”
Well then, wouldn’t it fall to the realm of Sir Josh Hawley…?
♫ Brave Josh Hawley ran away
(No!)
Bravely ran away away
(I didn’t!)
When danger reared it’s ugly head,
Josh Hawley turned his tail and fled
(I never!)
When Rep Josh Hawley turned about
Quite gallantly he Chickened Out.
(“You’re lying!”)
Swiftly taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat…
Bravest of the braaaave, Josh Hawley! ♫
(“I Never…!” )
Somewhere, Eric Trump is playing the clip of his dad saying “I am therefore proud to announce that ERIC has my Complete and Total Endorsement!” over and over again as he sits on the floor hugging his knees and rocking slowly back and forth, back and forth…
This had not occurred to me.
But now I am willing to bet everything I own that you are correct.
I’ll see your “micturate”, and raise you a “poronkusema”.