Did everyone see Trump pretending he’s a hero?
(and “no more Mr. Nice Guy” because up to this point his defining feature is how nice he is. Fuck outta here)
That rifle weighs somewhere around 8-10lbs, I doubt Trump could even hold it steady much less do anything with it. But if he wants to strap one on and get airdropped into the sands of Persia, I wish him all the best in his short journey. At the very least we’ll get an amusing Lego rap video out of it from Iran.
Iran locates him, briefly thinks about his value as a political hostage, and immediately puts him on a first class flight back to the US with a note pinned to his jacket - “Misplaced world leader: Please return to White House ASAP.”
Trump and the Giant Orange
Said Senator John Kennedy of Trump:
Sen. John Kennedy (R-La.) told Fox News’ Sean Hannity on Wednesday that he’d taken away a few lessons from the U.S. conflict with Iran, including one colorful assessment of Donald Trump.
One lesson learned was that “whether you like him or not, any fair-minded person would have to conclude that President Trump has oranges the size of beach balls,” Kennedy claimed.
Somebody has to task AI with making an image of a fruit bowl in the Oval Office with giant oranges in it. Or maybe a movie poster in the style of James and the Giant Peach.
Kennedy went on, extemporizing weirder and weirder:
Kennedy went on to praise Trump as being “tough as a pine nut.”
Then it got even weirder.
“It’s occurred to me that in defense of America, he will eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti,” he added — a reference to fictional serial killer Hannibal Lecter from “The Silence of the Lambs,” whom Trump has repeatedly praised in the past.
Being a psychopath has never seemed like such a wonderful idea to so many people before.
Umm, pine nuts are pretty soft as nuts go.
Someone doesn’t know the difference between having big brass balls and being utterly reckless.
The dude with brass balls understands the risks being taken, feels the weight of those risks, and does the right thing despite knowing that if it all goes wrong, he will bear that weight until his dying day.
The other guy just doesn’t give a fig about the consequences and who it might hurt.
In the same week Mr. Brass Balls whined that he was deathly (literally) afraid of an arrangement of seashells on a beach.
It’s like he’s trying to reenact the SNL “Hardball” sketch where Molly Ivins keeps using folksier expressions until she makes no sense at all:
If a coyote’s chewing on your boot, you better cowboy Alamo six-shooter tumbleweed rodeo moustache wax, partner!
You need to learn about mockery.
As a convicted felon, it’s illegal for him to have a gun anyway.
Jimmy Kimmel (and his writers) mock Trump. Newsome dumbly copies Trump. I know mockery well, thank you.
I know he was going for the alliterative thing but seriously, if your testicles are the size of beach balls, that’s not a good thing. Go see a friggin’ doctor
Holding a mirror to the person being mocked is mockery. Newsome is mocking Mr. Potato Head by outrageously aping him.
It’s Newsom, not Newsome, people. Please at least try to spell his name correctly.
What a fucking undignified, disgraceful joke trump has turned the office of the President of the United States into.
I did spell it correctly; but being caffeine-deficient, I looked at the previous spelling and changed it. 
It will take generations before any country will respect us again. Unless Trump completely destroys the US which he is well on the way to doing. Thank god this is his second term, and he might not even make it through it.
Impeached, or dies a natural death of hamberders.
Apparently King Henry 1st of the UK perished after a surfeit on lampreys (an eel-like fish) - while I have never eaten a lamprey, I have eaten eel. I dont really enjoy eel, especially.
I have also eaten “hamberders”* twice in my life, once age 11, the other time age 26. Neither time was I impressed. But perhaps Trump and I differ on food choices, to some extent.
* Macdonalds. I am capable of making actual hamburgers, rolls, and suitable sauce all from scratch which by far surpase my memories of those two occasions.
I’ll have a ‘gut bomb’ when I’m too busy to cook. Today I’m making stir fry.
Trump has some of the best chefs in the world at his beck and call. Apparently he prefers McD’s. No pickles, extra ketchup.
If I was one of his chefs, I would be quite pissed off. If I was a SS agent that had to do McD’s runs, I would be similarly pissed.
He bought McD’s for some football team.
He thinks he has class.
Well, he does have class.
Just not the class to which he aspires.
Still life with oranges and mushroom.