Seems like most of the people here should read about Commitment-Phobes.
Boy, my story could go on for a long, long time. How about the reader’s digest version?
Girl from HS. We met again after a few years. Fell in bed for a one-nighter. Girl doesn’t call…hhmmm…Meet again a few years later, develop friendship. Friendship turns into relationship the following year in January. All of the rush-into-it details are there (marriage, naming kids, etc.) because we had been friends for so long, it was just ‘natural’. By April things were already looking rocky, but I thought it was because of a distance issue (I was going to school out of town). In May I need to find a place to live for the summer. She wanted to move out of her parents house, so…We move in together 3rd week of May. I buy TONS of new apartment stuff (trash cans, silverware, spices, shower curtain, etc.). June 3, 1994 I pay her half the rent. June 4, 1994 we go shopping with her parents. I buy $138 of stuff (I remember this well). We get back to her parent’s house and she ‘needs space’.
Space? Space? We just f*!@#&$% moved in with each other! Where you want me to go? The bathroom? I just paid for June’s rent and bought $138 of stuff for the place as well as all the other things, and she needs space all of a sudden?!?
I freak and had a friend pick me up (controlling bitch, broke up with me at her parent’s house with no way for me to leave). I move in with said friend and try and work things out. She tries to manipulate everything and basically leaves me hanging. Ready for the clincher? She makes me move my things out on my birthday. BEEEEE-AHTCH! AND she gets upset that I bring a few friends to help me move. She actually expected me to move my bed and dresser and etc. without help from my friends…
Total mind-f**k. I am shattered and unfortunately have the worst job imaginable- menial-labour. Nothing sucks worse than working outside digging flower beds with no mental escape from the constant re-playing of he said/she said. It was hell.
OK, now I can look back and thank the gods that I dodged that bullet. My life with her would have been a constant series of train-wrecks. As it turns out, I met my wife just a few months later while on a study abroad to the Czech Republic (but we were just friends, we didn’t fall in lurve until the next year). And Wifecat is the coolest, bestest woman I’ve ever met.
But I still suffer mentally from that one. Being led on and on and not seeing the problems that are RIGHT THERE really messes with your self-perception.
-Tcat
ps- there are two interesting anecdotes about that ex. 1) Her brother once gave her a leychain that said “Cold-hearted bitch seeks nice caring guy to dump on.” I should have taken the hint. 2) My friend labels women like her flooring-carpenters. You know what flooring-carpenters say? “Lay them right the first time and you can walk on them for years.” The first few weeks of sex were awesome, and then it disappeared. She even gave me head in the beginning, then stopped. She wanted me to give her head, but she wouldn’t return the favour. I have learned from this. Don’t date women who demand things they refuse to give.