Slept very late due to having stayed up too late in order to have crazed monkey sex.
Awakened by bladder, fixed, then went back to sleep.
Awakened by Cartoon Network when grandchild woke up–advised of location of headphones, then went back to sleep.
Awakened by cat. Squirted cat until he went away, went back to sleep.
Awakened by text message from daughter letting me know she overslept due to too much fun in the night and advising me she’s leaving posthaste to pick up grandchild to take to a birthday laser tag party.
Figured I ought to get up.
Fed grandchild pancakes with jam and syrup (in order that he be properly hyped up to kill friends with lasers.)
Commiserated with partner who awoke with giant boner but not able to do anything with it since grandchild present and conscious–advised sublimating by making pot of very strong coffee.
Drank huge mug of coffee in new giant mug from the dollar store–says “Best Mom” on it and holds as much as any three normal cups, score!
Directed grandchild to wash sticky hands, comb bedhead cowlicks down flat, put dirty dishes in sink and place all belongings in backpack in anticipation of daughter’s arrival.
Sent them off to kill friends with lasers and socialize with soccer moms. Snickered and kvelled that it isn’t me going.
Discussed with partner (over nice Sunday morning bowl of the chronic) the fact that although we each had vaguely firm obligations to do things with people today that neither of us feels motivated enough to go anywhere.
Phone calls are made during which it is established that our friends are feeling the same way we are–hence, no further obligations!
More coffee, then make a lovely leftover grilled Reuben sandwich with marbled rye, mustard, corned beef, Swiss cheese and sauerkraut, accompanied by potato chips. Yummm. Partner settles on leftover Chicken Kiev and herbed potatoes.
Partner goes back to wrestling with making the elderly motherboard recognize three IDE hard drives and the DVD simultaneously, succeeds and continues rebuilding OS and installing software on the media box. Now it has 480MB of RAM and 400 GB of hard drive space and a capture card for being a cutrate TiVo–excluding hard drives I think the thing has cost about fifty bucks total. Me, I get my laptop out and start surfing.
Smoke another bowl.
Three Netflix movies await, there is a survivalist level of food supplies in the house and two beers.
Oh, and that huge boner is probably still around somewhere…
Perfect Sunday? You make the call, I know what I think! 