Usually I prefer to define my terms when I begin a poll of this type. I shan’t do that in this case, however, because what I’m interested in is the perceptions of each respondent. Thus, when answering, feel free to use whatever definitions of “homophobia” and “community” you feel most appropriate–though I’d appreciate it if you’d briefly state what you mean by homophobia, and whom you’re calling your community. If you want to specify your demographic group, general location, and sexual orientation, that’s cool too, but don’t feel obliged to so to any more detail than you wish.
Answering the question myself:
Black male, 36, Tennessee, heterosexual. I’d say I inhabit both homophobic and gay-friendly communities; that is, most of the city is probably more homophobic than not, but my closest friends (i.e., my church folk) are gay-friendly.
I’m defining homophobic as “inclined toward knee-jerk disapproval of homosexual action, thought, or inclination, regardless of the character of the person exibiting such traits.” I can’t think of a single one of my immediate family who would be comfortable if I suddenly started dating men; my parents would call me demon-possessed, my eldest brother would try to enroll me in reparative “therapy,” and my sisters would worry and cry and pray. The sibling to whom I’m closest (my baby sister) was positively horrified to discover that there are actual out lesbians and gays holding hands while singing the Lord’s Prayer at my church. (Obviously my church is the enclave of gay-friendliness I spoke of). There’s an referendum to ban gay marriage on the ballot in the next general state-wide election, and if it fails to pass I shall most likely die of shock.
White female, 26, just outside of Memphis TN. Well, actually a suburb in Mississippi.
I’ve always believed that my city (the little one in Mississippi) was probably virulently homophobic, because it is an EXTREMELY conservative, Republican place. However, last year my son started school, and I was amazed to see about four lesbian couples, along with a gay male couple at the PTO meetings. That’s FIVE families with homosexual parents, which is a lot for a school of this size (There were also a large numer of bi-racial couples). None of them were harrassed at all, or even really noticed. The whole experience really surprised me and made me see my community in a much different (better) way. But the move to amend the state constitution to make homosexual marriage illegal passed overwhelmingly. So, what to think?
Well, I still think the place is pretty homophobic, but I think it’s certainly improving. Younger people here are much less prone to snap judgements. I hope things continue to improve, and in fact, I think they will.
Memphis (which I also consider my home, and my community) is pretty conservative for an urban area. There is one church that is unbelievably homophobic; they recently made the national news for erecting a fake statue of liberty holding the Ten Commandments and a cross, and the pastor there takes out ads in the newspaper telling homosexuals they are going to hell. Sort of a black Fred Phelps, with a much larger congregation. And it is a predominantly black city, and I think, at least around here, black people tend to be more homophobic than whites (please don’t flame me! this is just my experience!!), so there’s that. BUT there are also very liberal, artistic parts of the city that are very welcoming towards homosexuals, and I know there are a number of gay bars and gay friendly churches, and I’ve never heard of any real hate crimes against homosexuals. So, I would say Memphis is more homophobic than most cities of a similar size, but not terribly so.
Whew. That was longer than I thought it would be. Next?
Well I’m white, male, straight, and married with child…
I was actually pleasantly surprised upon moving to Tupelo a few years ago (from Chicago), that there is next to no homophobia here whatsoever, at least in plain sight.
All the bars and restaurants are full of gays and lesbians, both working there and otherwise, but that’s the bulk of my public experience around here, so that could be a factor in my perception.
It seems like the per capita percentage of “out and proud” gays trumps even Chicago.
Visibly non-white/non-black straight female, early twenties, involved in a long-term relationship, small town a few hours outside of one of the Cosmopolitan Centres of the Universe.
While Kamloops did host a gay pride parade, one city councillor tried very hard to stop it, since he decided homosexuality was a disease. One guy showed up to protest him. Our local MP also voted pretty happily against gay marriage, since she believed it was how the community felt about it.
On the other hand, I live in a college town, and the college has a fairly large number of openly gay people. You don’t really see them walking down the street holding hands, but it’s hard to be a social young person here and not know some.
So… It depends. The voting members of the community and the people who show up to town meetings are not very gay-friendly. The younger guard seems fine about everything.
Defining “community” differently makes all the difference. Here in Lexington I think the city itself is pretty tolerant. But if one were to extend the radius of the circle even 10-15 miles into the close-in rural/exurban areas, I’d say the answer changes substantially.
I went to high school in a rural area of Kentucky. The students (this was the early 70’s, mind you) were incredibly homophobic. Pretty much anyone I can think of from back then who was gay lives in Lexington now. My untested hypothesis: the more oppressive the surrounding area, the more of a contrast there wll be with the central city. Especially a college town.
A local politician recently compared gay marriage to polygamy and bestiality. Demographically, this area is pretty old, and I suspect he won’t suffer many consequences. There are plenty of gay people and the younger people don’t generally have a problem with it, but that’s not everybody.
Denver is the same way. Denver itself is, I think, extremely gay-friendly. But one doesn’t have to get too far out into the more conservative counties surrounding the city before that changes.
SoCal is wierd- on one hand, my gay friends are pretty open, although you don’t see a ton of PDA so far south of LA . But on the other hand, it’s a conservative, older population. I was horrified that my mom was anti-gay marriage, and that she couldn’t defend her stance at all- some bullshit about polygamy…
This is a very gay-friendly community. Tolerance is the norm and homophobia is not viewed in a positive way, overall. As a teacher, I encounter it among some of my students, but they are in the minority. I’d agree that my African-American and Latino students are more homophobic than the white ones, but I hear it from white and non-white students. I always address it and tell them it’s not OK, and they tend to accept that.
Where I grew up, in Staten Island, homophobia is the norm. I’m glad I live here now.
Hispanic (although for all intents and purposes, white - I don’t speak Spanish, for instance) female. Married, 36 in Santa Rosa, about 50 miles north of San Francisco.
Using the OP’s definition of homophobic, if I had to give this community a rating of 1 to 10, 1 being not at all, 10 being extremely, I’d give it a 1 *maaaybe *a 2.
Couples do freely walk around downtown, holding hands, kissing, etc. without notice at all really. I don’t think I’ve ever been out to dinner around here (or just about anywhere for that matter) where there hasn’t been at the very least one gay/lesbian couple enjoying a meal at a nearby table.
And the answer does not change much as you hit the smaller surrounding towns. In fact, in the case of Guerneville, a tiny town to the west of us, it drops to less than 1.
We go camping a few times a year in Guerneville, often times lounging on the shore along side the river. It’s a popular destination for gay couples and their children. And gay singles as well. It’s a fun little town.
Santa Rosa has a pretty high ‘gay index’ according to epodunk.com - 192 compared to the national average of 100. It might increase slightly when the new LGBT retirement community is completed.
I think you’d have to head a little farther north to find less accepting areas, and even then, I’m not so sure.
45-year-old white married (to a white man) female checking in. I hate the city I live in. I constantly read “letters to the editor” about how “teh gay” is going to cause all of us to burn in hell, because, you know, they go against “God’s” desires and chose to be that way. I am fairly popular in a certain social group, but my best friend warned me not to let it be widely known that I was a “Pagan”, because that equals “Satanist” in the eyes of a lot of the people here.
There are at least 6 letters a week in the local paper saying gays are going to hell. I will give the paper credit, they do publish about half of my letters asking why these so called “Christian” people are doing worrying so much about what other people are doing in the bedroom.
I have worked in theatre here and have some good friends who are gay. I am pleased that the City Council has voted to shut down the latest “shoot 'em up” club and has left the few gay bars alone.
But, damn, people! Stop worrying about what other people do in their beds, and start worrying about what the product of your “beddin” is doing!
39 Straight Male, Married with Kids. {White, but I dislike the term}
I would say my town would be openly aghast to hear someone being homophobic but probably runs over 50% with people that are somewhat privately homophobic.
I am even mixed feelings myself, my BIL is gay and I am comfortable around him and I was comfortable around his ex-partner. I attended his wedding in LA and I discovered I was uncomfortable with his spouse. He is “Too Gay”* for me to be comfortable. So I still have many issues to overcome obviously. I would guess I am not in a minority of straight males who end up feeling this way.
I hate this phrase but it is an accurate description: One of my best friends in High School was gay but not open about it and I never had a problem with it and I am happy to say, there was no problem in the school with his sexuality even though I think most people new it. This was back in the early 80’s so I am kind of proud of my school.
I think in general NJ is pretty gay friendly.
Jim
There is a chance that he is not too gay for my comfort, but maybe too LA for my comfort.
I’d agree with this. Almost all of my friends in HS were gay or lesbian, including 3 ex-boyfriends and 1 ex-‘girlfriend.’ (We were ‘out’ with our close friends, but not in general.) However many of our friends were open and I don’t recall it ever being much of a problem for them, although I could be wrong.
And that was also in the 80s, in a very suburban Middlesex County town.
White, female, 28, bi… the small town I come from in New Brunswick (Canada) and the surrounding areas? Incredibly homophobic. People who dared come out of the closet were routinely beaten to within an inch of their lives, no hyperbole involved, here. It’s a shitty town full of shitty people. On the outside, it appears like a nice place. Just don’t stick around long enough to get to know the locals. They’ll scare the hell out of you. Poison, poison, poison town.
The community I live in now? Seattle? Oh lordy, I’m free and easy here. Polar opposite of where I grew up. I love this city. This is my home. I was recently worried about confronting my boss about the charity work for gay/trans issues that I do, wondering if it might conflict with the “image” of the store (and if so, I’d have to move on to a job that didn’t mind so much) - particularly because it’s a “family” store. Thankfully, it turns out that “family” around here is all-inclusive, and I was fretting for nothing. One of my co-workers is a lesbian, another is bi, and the boss doesn’t care what we are.
So… home town? Homophobic to the core.
New home? Homo-friendly to the core.
We’re a red state with a law concerning “one man-one woman” marriages. Being a red state means we have more churches per square foot than the Vatican, nearly all of which are virulently anti gay. The former mayor of Anchorage had a diversity display removed from the public library because it had rainbows in it and implied that gays were like anyone else. Despite the venom, there is a gay pride parade every year.
I live in downtown-ish Ottawa, Canada. (the Glebe, for those familiar with Ottawa)
It’s so nice that I’m not really sure what to say about it. Other than that plain old homosexuality is so… mainstream. Nobody really gets weird about it except religious conservatives and teenage boys.
A friend of mine is a local activist for transgender rights. It’s already illegal to discriminate against her because of her trans-ness, she can marry whomever she likes, her driver’s license and passport say “F” on them, and she can get a new birth certificate showing her as a female baby named (girl name) so that no one ever needs to know. So she’s working on issues like getting helpful pamphlets into high school guidance counselors’ offices and getting them training on trans issues.
Excuse me, I need to go revel in the fact that I live here…
. But on the other hand, it’s a conservative, older population. I was horrified that my mom was anti-gay marriage, and that she couldn’t defend her stance at all- some bullshit about polygamy…
