Hispanic female, 43, married to the whitest white guy in Fresno, Ca.
Fresno is a very friendly city. We attended the Reel Pride festival to see the Margaret Cho concert film a few years ago. Every year, the Tower district has a weekend of gay/lesbian films. Afterward is a fabuous party. In Spring, there is a gay pride parade. The most verbal homophobes I know are a newly married couple, the husband being one of my husband’s oldest friends who never before verbalized homophobia before he was married in April. I continue to educate this man but her I try not to speak to. When we go out as couples, I just drink a lot.
Sorry, I should have added more details. I’m a 24-year-old white male, and I’m defining my community in the really general way as ‘the people represented by the local government.’
Yeah, given the definition I was using in my first post, I’m sure it’s way worse than what’s “in your face”.
I guess I was just pleasantly surprised that it’s not really “in your face” as much as I expected.
Homophobia is very low in Shoreline, Washington. We are close to Seattle. There are times in which you will actually be made fun of for being straight. I stopped talking to a female friend because she was always talking about how gay men are better than straight men.
I do not wish to sound bitter when I say this, although perhaps I am. I am all for gay rights, and I am glad that Seattle is a socially progressive area. What bothers me is that the atmosphere is so pro-homosexual that it can go overboard. If you do not wish to attend a gay-pride parade, you can be assumed to be anti-homosexual. If you even mention that gay men are more likely to catch HIV, you’re prejudiced.
Chinese, female, 17, straight. I would say my area is kind of apathetic. The general consensus among adults seems to be that being gay is icky, but not enough to bother doing anything about. Young people, on the other hand, are pretty liberal. For what it’s worth, we’re pretty multicultural in an assimilated, everybody-acts-white sort of way, and nobody is violently religious. I’ve noticed racism, religious fundamentalism and homophobia tend to go hand-in-hand. While nobody cares where I live now, I used to get a lot of crap for being Chinese in the burbs where I used to live (only a half-hour’s drive away!). I doubt gays have an easy time there, either.
22 year old Asian male, gay, and a college student at UCSC. Santa Cruz is probably one of the most liberal areas you’ll ever go to, and as a result, we are definitely a fairly gay-friendly town. The College Republicans up at UCSC are pretty vocal and extreme, but they generally avoid GLBT issues (in my experience). I often see same-sex couples holding hands, even making out in public, so it seems most people feel pretty comfortable about their sexuality here (I’m not much of a PDA kinda guy myself). Our local index, according to this site,
However, I was born and raised in Arcadia, CA, a suburb near Pasadena, and I had a somewhat different experience there. The town is about 45% Asian-American, and the school district is almost 65%. Asians are interesting voters: first generation Asians tend to be economically and socially conservative, but the second generation tends to be far more liberal. Back when I was in high school, I found that the older folks were fairly homophobic. Back when Prop 22 (the anti-gay marriage proposition that passed in CA a while back) was being voted on, I remember that just about every other house had a “Vote Yes on Marriage” sign, which was not very pleasant for me, as I was in the process of coming out. However, my high school friends were, for the most part, accepting, with the exception of those who belonged in the evangelical club.
According to the same site above, Arcadia scores a 48 for gays and lesbians, so you can see there’s a huge difference between Arcadia and Santa Cruz.
Oops, sorry. I left out a whole second half of a sentence up there. It should say: “Our local index, according to this site, is 273 out of a national index of 100.”
Hispanic White female in Northern Spain, 38yo, Catholic.
Same-sex marriage is legal. There’s some contention about it, but once that particular drawer of Pandora’s box is open, I don’t think anybody can close it short of a military dictatorship kind of situation.
A lot of people use “marica” as a knee-jerk insult (including myself, sorryyyyyy!) but would never use it in a non-knee-jerk situation; a lot of people are… how to explain this… against the “notion” of homosexuality but have no problem with homosexual individuals they know; I find this a bit silly yet eminently human; it’s also close to the Catholic Church’s official take on the whole thing. Others, like my Mom, find it terribly scandalous. Mom is more likely to call our female VP a dyke than any other insult; when she agrees with something the VP has done, she says something along the lines of “well, I’ll be, that dyke can get something right some times!” Sigh. Mind you, she would say the same about me without the dyke part when I got A+s in school. I have no idea whether the VP is a lesbian or not and don’t think it’s none of my business. Mom is convinced of it. Her level of offendedness is equivalent to someone cheating on the wife: so, her homophobia is a “sex I don’t approve of phobia”. The same applies to many other people I’ve heard talking about this.
A few times I’ve been in a social situation, doing my best wallflower impersonation in order to avoid spouting the kind of cutting remarks I was thinking, when someone has decided to “draw me out”. This is a mistake. It was a mistake when I was 3yo and it’s a mistake now. I have never learned how to not answer a direct question, and I have a problem with lying. So, when someone who’d been babbling sanctimoniously about gays for half an hour asked me what did I think, I told them something along the lines of “I don’t think it’s any of my business what anybody does in bed or other likely locations, so long as it’s all consensual and my own partner is not involved”. Their usual response is blinking, then they may make choice A or choice B. Choice A is continuing their conversation as if nobody had made the gaffe of “trying to draw me out”. Choice B: “are you a lesbian?” No. But it would be none of your business if I was.
Not at all.
Not where I live or work anyway.
I’m sure there are parts of Victoria and/or Melbourne that MIGHT have some reservations about same-sex liaisons, but it ain’t here!!
Late 30s, female, straight, married 1 child, live in urban Sydney (Newtown.)
Um…yeah, well, this is one of two well-known GLBT neighbourhoods here in Sydney, so I’m somewhat in the minority myself. Fantastic place to live, good restaurants, etc. Open PDAs in same (and opposite sex) couples. Did I mention its a fantastic place to live? It is! And we have some really wonderful neighbours/friends here, gay and straight and any mixture of the two, so I like it quite a lot.
Course, it’s also goth positive, which is fine…er…not that there’s anything WRONG with that…but getting caught in the depression wave (oh WOE…I suddenly feel so…sad…wait, it’s passed, they’re gone!) as they swarm past is more noticable to me that same sex couples, really. 
(Though one must laugh when you see a goth guy in full length black trench coat, heavy boots, black shirt and a hat of some sort when it’s 40c outside. Better to look cool than to BE cool, I suppose.) Damn kids should get off my lawn!
Cheers,
G
Oh hell. I live in a very small, very rural town that refuses to even think about installing a damn sewer system. let alone add homosexuality into the picture. The sheer idea of anything beyond ‘their norm’…well, it is unheard of.
About 3 years ago, a few idiots had gone so far as to actually burn a cross in the yard of a wonderful African-American family. Very few people took the time to get to know them. Sadly, the family moved away. It really saddened me that this happened. But, I’m sort of glad they did move away, because it would have been hell for them to continue living here for any amount of time. They knew it, and they decided to leave. I’m very happy to say that we (My family and 2 others) still keep in touch with them, as they know that not everyone out here is like that. Even though the police were called, nothing ever came of it. I know there were MANY violations regarding this incident. But, it gets pretty much ignored.
We have no police here…the county sherrif is located in another town, about 40 miles from this town. We have no town marshall, either. So, getting anything done about these things is pretty much out of the question. Some of us have tried, to no avail.
The state police tell us to call the county sherrif. The county sherrif tells everyone that he’ll ‘send someone out here to check it out,’ but it hardly ever happens.
The hicks in this town are VERY strange about having non-white people and/or homosexuals living anywhere in town. I swear, I honestly believe they never did move beyond the Dark Ages!
People are PEOPLE. It doesn’t matter one damn bit what the hell color you are. It doesn’t matter what your sexual orientation is. It doesn’t matter if you worship God, a tree, a rock, a fucking coffee mug…or even if someone chooses not to worship anything at all!
Nothing like that matters!
Everyone is human. We all have feelings.
Some people just do NOT get it!
Our daughter is lesbian. She keeps a very low profile, by her own choice, because she knows what might happen to her. If anyone ever found out, there would be hell to pay, and we know this. This is NOT fair to her at all. But, for now, we’re stuck in this town.
I grew up here and it’s always been this way. The people here are very, very homophobic. I have no idea what they are afraid of! But, when a town is inhabited by 80% uneducated idiots/morons, there’s not much you can do about it. All anyone can do here, is just keep a low profile and let the idiots die off/kill themselves off, which they are doing at a nice, pleasant, steady pace, because of their alcoholism and drug use.
Sooner or later, the town will be ok.
I hope.
The sooner, the better!
Because, like I said above, we’re stuck here for awhile!
It’s not a pleasant place to live when people are so closed-minded!
30 YO E. Indian straight female.
Albany (NY! Not Georgia! I don’t know anything about Georgia!) itself is fairly open-minded both culturally and sexually. There is some homophobia but it is fairly limited. However, just go a 10-15 miles out of town in any direction, and it grows stronger and stronger, until you get to the next major city.
36YO female, lesbian, Living in London, UK
As a very comspolitan city, London is supremely gay friendly. My work, in the field of design, is the same. No doubt there are individuals out there who have homophobic feelings, but most would probably prefer to keep their feelings to themselves rather than be looked upon as neanderthal weirdos.
I’m sure the ‘ick’ factor increases in more rural areas of the country, but it would always come as a shock, rather than the norm, to encounter open prejudice. Being a small country, rural communities are not so far removed from the general consensus of the country. National television programmes broadcast at prime time showing positive lesbian role models are greeted more with excitement at the titillation factor rather than with outrage.
Politically, being seen to be homophobic in the UK is seen to be a Very Bad Thing and tends to be reserved for random minor politicians rather than leading players. Recent debates on Civil Partnership saw against-arguments concentrated on tax and legal-impact issues rather than any overtly anti-gay arguments. Only church leaders would dare bring God into the discussion.
Family-wise, it’s no big deal whatsoever. My ageing parents (pushing 80) accept ‘it’ and my girlfriend wholeheartedly. No doubt they’d prefer me to be married with kids, and I’m not sure how much they’d talk about my situation down the golf club with their ageing conservative friends, but they’re fine.
Age 44, white, male, straight, SE Indiana- well, by SDMB standards, I’m homophobic, so using that standard, I’d say the community & myself, 40%. No harrassing gays or picketing their businesses (the one guy who picketed the one bed&breakfast/antiqueshop/cafe that flew a rainbow flag was pretty well distained by the community), BUT the local newspaper’s 1/2 front page neutral coverage of the college pro-gay group’s gay-marriage rally/seminar/mock-wedding got a LOT of hostile letters (none advocating harrassment of gays, but all opposing gay-marriage & public celebration of gayness).
We may be bigots & homophobes, but we’re genteel about it.
Oh- and considering the number of gay-owned bed&breakfasts, antique shops, & cafes that do exist, we must not be too bad because the gay owners are usually people who have moved here & prospered, not just our home-grown gays.
FriarTed, what about your own standards? I was, after all, asking for your self-perceptions. I’ve known people who claim that anyone not willing to french-kiss a person of the same gender is homophobic, a standard I would call actively stupid, so I’m perfectly amenable to your having deferent definitions than mine.
Married 40-something straight female here.
I work for a company that was one of the early adopters of benefits (health etc.) for domestic partners.
We live in Virginia. Northern VA to be precise. Around here, I don’t hear too much anti-gay rhetoric. I’d probably be startled if I saw two women (or two men) necking or holding hands, but mainly because it’s not something I see every day.
However, Virginia is the state where a judge granted a grandmother custody of her grandchild for no better reason than that the mother was gay.
Virginia is also the state where there is a law targeting gays (and presumably also cohabiting heteros but they’re just garden-variety sinners, not those godless satanic HOMOS) that basically says you cannot have any kind of legal attempt to simulate marriage - e.g. any kind of agreement that, say, you have access to your partner in the hospital etc. The women across the street from me moved a few months after that - I don’t know for sure that they are gay, or that’s why they moved, but it’s a fairly good bet (and there were newspaper stories of others who did the same).
So yeah, homophobes aren’t too hard to find near here.
White female, 19, north-central Saskatchewan. Everyone is pretty passive around here. I think most people take the view of ‘I don’t care what they do behind closed doors, but I don’t want to see PDAs from either gays or straights!’. Older folk and religious types are against it, but it never goes past a few Letters to the Editor.
The one thing I don’t really know is how Aboriginal people feel about it. One of my friends is out, and my group is involved in the theatre and arts around here so I know a few gay teens, but all white. Aboriginals tend to be more conservative, so I’m guessing they probably don’t look on it too well.
Politically, our MP voted against gay marriage and we generally vote Conservative in federal elections.
White het male, living in central Austin, Texas. Do people really worry about this stuff?
Seriously, while orientation does bother some folks at my conservative workplace, the vast majority of people around my neighborhood don’t care. It’s just another couple, parents or whatever.
I wonder if the demographics of the Dope play into that at all.