Unless you’re lucky, never. I still get all pissed about a girl I loved and lost about fifteen years ago. And another one longer ago than that.
Don’t worry, Peak Banana, this isn’t creepy. I heard about some woman once, used to get her single-digit-aged son to trim her pubic hair for her. That’s creepy.
You don’t need a sixteen-valve fuel-injected cock-tease no matter what she looks like. At least in principle, there’s someone out there who will want to fuck you rather than dick you around, and be some use other than mattress lining. You’ve dodged a bullet.
Seriously, you need to move on.
I know it’s tricky, but try:
- making new friends
- drawing a picture of her and ceremonially destroying it
- reading some porn
- taking up a new hobby
- writing down your objectives (passing exams, meeing a decent girl)
You know, I was with you up until the point where you called her house and texted her a bunch of times to scream insults at her.
I’ve been prick-teased, toyed with, led on, dumped, undumped, redumped, had doors slammed in my face, given mixed messages, and generally stepped on a bunch of times in my life already by people who I was seriously hot for. Did I call them a bunch of times and scream at them? Did I end up with them talking of police and restraining orders?
No, I did not. I posted about it in my LiveJournal, dumped it on my friends, drowned my sorrows in expensive coffee, masturbated a lot, screamed my lungs out off the top of the Jacques-Cartier bridge.
I did not harass or stalk them. I’m a man too, for certain definitions thereof, and I have a little bit of control over my sexual impulses. Being male doesn’t excuse you for that kind of nonsense.
Instead, I highly recommend thinking of yourself as having dumped them back. (“You can’t fire me – I quit!”) It does a body good. You don’t need someone in your life who causes you that kind of unhappiness.
I have two pieces of advise for you, my friend:
Firstly, when people show you who they really are - your job is to see!
This girl showed you who she really was, several times, you just refused to see. It’s all right there in your story. She made no apologies about it either.
Secondly, and universally, the number one rule of life is;
If you play, you pay.
Everything comes with a cost, my friend, everything. You played and lost and now you have to pay, with heartache and regret. Not your life or limbs, or first born child.
Embrace your actions as choices, wise or otherwise, and move on. It ain’t easy, to be sure, but it’s the nature of life. You’re smarter now, and you’ll see the signs next time. Stop beating yourself up, and get on with being a more evolved being.
Being a fool for love isn’t really so bad. It hurts, to be sure, but hey, we’ve all been fools for lesser things than love.
You strike me as a clever young man, I think you’re going to be just fine. In a couple of years you’ll look back and think, “I can’t believe I got myself all bent out of shape over such as this.”
You are, I fear, a trainwreck that will just keep ending up shattered on the cliff beside the tracks. You may need professional help.
I’ve not much sympathy for you; to allow yourself to get into such a state over lust is ridiculous. You are not a young man, by your own admission, so by now you know that lust is a deceiver and that you need to be smarter than to fancy yourself ‘in love’ just because your groin is thrilled.
As others have pointed out, you had many opportunities to engage your brain; she not only gave you hints but told you outright nothing would happen but you persisted. And despite everything you’ve written, you’re still fantasizing about her.
Meanwhile, you were attracted because she looks young and then acted like a lunatic when you couldn’t have her. You’re in trouble, bud. If you can’t rationalize yourself past this lust and convince yourself to behave like a sane person, go see the school counsellor and ask for help. You admit you’ve done it before, you aren’t getting over it now - don’t fool yourself that you won’t fall into this pit again, but next time you may go too far and end up regretting it behind bars.
Seriously.