I'm considering committing murder.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Yes, I’m considering committing murder. Here’s the story: My infamous ex-girlfriend, after a lengthy period of estrangement, gave me the final dump last Christmas. Since then, contact with the bitch has proceeded pretty much as follows:

Silence December-March. Then:

from: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
to: peakbanana@sucker.com
subject: new boyfriend.

“Hi. I have a new boyfriend! Just thought I’d let you know that I’m very happy.
Love,
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend.”

from: peakbanana@sucker.com
to: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
subject: re: new boyfriend.

“Why the hell are you telling me this? Do you expect me to be happy for you? Now please go hang yourself.
Regards,
Peak Banana.”

Silence again until this summer. Then:

from: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
to: peakbanana@sucker.com
subject: movies

“Hi. Do you want your movies back, you know, the ones are rightly yours, that I kept when we broke up? By the way, still doing swimmingly with the new boyfriend. I’m so much better off without you. How are things on your side?
Love,
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend.”

from: peakbanana@sucker.com
to: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
subject: re: movies

“Yeah, please return them. That’s nice of you. Oh, I’m doing fine. Had one brief screwed-up affair that didn’t go anywhere. Apart from that, looking great. By the way, shut the frick up about the farking boyfriend. Thanks.
Always your humble servant,
Peak Banana.”

She returns about one third of said movies. I can not be arsed to enquire about the rest. Scroll down to this fall. In an attack of drunken stupidity I e-mail her some great music that I’ve come across that reminds me of her. Result just in this week:

from: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
to: peakbanana@sucker.com
subject: broke up with boyfriend.

“Hi. Love that music. I thought you might want to know that I broke up with the boyfriend. I’ll be in town for Christmas. Wanna get together for coffee or dinner or something?
Love,
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend”

Of course I’m thinking “Holy mackerel! She lost the doofus! She wants to meet me! Here’s my chance!”

from: peakbanana@sucker.com
to: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
subject re: broke up with boyfriend.

“Hi. I’m very happy to hear that you made the right decision about that asshole. Let’s set up a date. By the way - are you really sure the dickhead is gone?
Kindly yours,
Peak Banana”

from: psychoexgirlfriend@bitchmail.com
to: peakbanana@sucker.com
subject: re: re: broke up with boyfriend

“Great. Yeah, I’m done with him. You see, I have *another *new boyfriend - great guy. Got wads of cash. Travels regularly to NYC and Japan. Oops, should perhaps have told you that right away. Looking forward to seeing you!
Love,
Psycho Ex-Girlfriend.”

:smack:

So, now I’m just wondering… if I just shoot her and get it over with, will any jury convict me?

2

If it’s been a year and you’re still feeling this strongly towards her, then I have to say that you do NOT want to meet with her. No good lies down this path.

3

Tell her you can’t see her when she’s in town because Jennifer Aniston thinks it’s time you meet her parents.

4

Just move on, man.

5

Stop replying to her! Flag her name to your spam filter. Move forward.

6

I think you should block her email address, and ignore any communication that does manage to get through to you. She appears to love keeping you on a line, and using her own supposed happiness to keep getting at you. Why? Probably because it feels good to know that someone still cares enough to be affected by her behavior.

This is all assumption, of course, based on the limited information you’ve given. Don’t commit murder. Just stop paying attention to her. Even if she doesn’t go away, you don’t have to fuel her fascination with being a bitch.

7

Maybe you should get a new email addy, too. I hear sucker.com is a lousy one for spam.

8

Yup, block her email address. No good can come of this.

9

I just set up a nice spam filter with her name on it.

Thanks, guys.

10

You realize of course, should something (God forbid) happen to her, you just made yourself suspect #1, right?

11

As others have said, stop being her fallback mat! Quit letting her rent space in your head, move on with your life. Have you forgotten all the reasons that caused you to give her the moniker “psychoexgirlfriend”?

12

She olny contacts you to hurt you over and over, not for the any other reason. Don’t even read her emails. Have her account deleted automaticaly at delivery. Later if she starts coming around, get a restraining oder and you can have something done about her. Don’t escalate it, unless she starts harasing you.

13

Go for it! She obviously still wants you, otherwise she wouldn’t keep emailing! And that’s why she kept 2/3 of your movies, so she has an excuse to get in touch with you. You are totally in, dude!

No, not really. :slight_smile:

14

Yeah, cut her off. No contact. Zip, zilch, nada.

I’ve been in a somewhat similar situation. I felt much better after I enacted THE SHUNNING!

15

There’s absolutely nothing complicated or difficult to figure out here. Her behavior is bad, but yours is dumb (I’ve been there, so this is not judgey, just observey!). Why keep *asking * her to stop hurting your feelings, when it would be much more effective to simply stop offering her the opportunity?

16

Yeah, the #1 rule of committing a crime is Don’t tell anybody!!!

Oh, and make sure the body doesn’t wash up on shore. They can still prosecute without corpus delicti, but obtaining a conviction is much more difficult.

With regard to a legitimate means of dealing with your problem which will (hopefully) not require legal representation or jail time, I think Tom Arnold said it best in True Lies: “30 seconds and counting. Ditch the bitch!”

Stranger

17

For you, I thought it was “don’t get caught on the carousel”. Guess I was wrong.

18

The first e-mail she sent you, you should have replied “UNSUBSCRIBE” and then blocked her addy.

19

Romance is a Game Show, & this is the Home Version you get as a consolation prize.

"I’ll take facts about the New Boyfriend for $100, Chet."
“Seven and a half, three times a night, and six figures.”
"What are the numbers that make me wanna kill her and/or myself, Chet?"

20

Man, you ARE an optimist! :stuck_out_tongue:

OP: You’re not over her yet, don’t give her any reason to rub salt on wounds that haven’t healed yet.