“My imaginary ghost lover is jealous”
or
“Given the Mormons, I’m trying to keep the average partner count to 1.”
(Yes I know, I know.)
Marry me.
I can only offer you a life of misery and deciet, but you’d have me, and you can’t put a price on that.
I’m trying to figure out whether the second sentence follows the first, or whether it answers the OP’s question.
Sure. I told ya a while back you had grown on me. 
I guess no one goes with the obvious answer?
“I’m not dating anyone.”
Too literal?
My answer is “I am very picky about the women I am attracted to. Unfortunately for me, the women I am attracted to are very picky about the men they will date.”
Nice alto! How old is your horn?
Be honest and point them to the SDMB where it is quite obvious. (Smiley that isn’t offered in Quick Reply).
How is it that so many horrible, mean, stupid, dull people manage to get married?
Seriously, I used to think that getting married was some kind of accomplishment.
Now I know better.
(Disclaimer: I am in no way saying that all married folks are awful–just in case anybody reads what I said the wrong way.)
Also, the only men who pay much attention to me these days are old enough to be my grandfather. Really.
I wouldn’t mind having you play at my next luau.
“Because I’m good at it!”
And I was, too.
/slight hijack
My other peeve is that people ask me for dating advice because I dated alot of women throughout my 20 years or so as a batchelor.
Why are you asking the guy with dozens of failed relationships for advice? If I knew some kind of secret, don’t you think that I would use it myself?
The best advice I have is… they’re all crazy, you just need to find the crazy you can deal with. 