I used to go with playful “it’s too much work!”, or the truthful “I’m just not at that point in my life where it feels right to settle down. Maybe in a few years I’ll meet someone.”
Another classic is the “Well, you’ve got to find the right guy first, don’t you?”
My sentient penis fights crime all night, and by the time the sun rises it’s too exhausted for me to have a relationship.
“Because it’s just too much fun being a serial killer! Mwahahahaha.” 
“Because I am happy with my life, the way it is.”
Like it!
Depends on the person. Maybe a shifty look to the left and right and then lean in and whisper or mouth “They keep dying on me” or a big smile and “By careful design” and leave it at that.
On this tangent, I once made a paper shredder explode. Apparently lubricating the gears with WD-40 is a really bad idea.
I had an aunt who was really bothered that I was single so long. She was always asking whether I was dating anyone. I’m pretty sure she thought I joined the Navy because I was a lesbian. :rolleyes: So after I eloped and brought my husband to meet the family, this aunt had such a look of disapproval, bordering on disgust, it absolutely shocked me.
It may or may not be connected, but both of her daughters had unsuccessful first marriages, altho they did seem to find lasting spouses on their next go-rounds, while my husband and I are in our 29th year together.
“Court order”
“I’m married - just because I don’t have a ring it doesn’t mean I’m single.”
I like this. I’m sure my family members who like to push about the single issue will think it rude. I’m not sure I care.
There’s something wrong with this picture? because I’m not seeing it.
Not everyone is into public sax.
Ok, can we be friends now?
I love that one. I have to remember that. Once I replied " Because I’m a closeted homosexual" then grin. Left it up to her to decide whether I was serious or not.
“It’s not that I haven’t tried. I’ve TRIED. Do you have ANY idea what’s available out there???” followed by several sterling examples of close calls with psychos, married men, comic book fanatics, sci-fi fanatics, obese losers living in mom’s basement, guys who spit on the street, alcoholics, dope fiends, any of a number of tragic blind dates…
“You’re too picky, young lady!” That’s what always got me, I’m “too picky”, as if I’m holding out for a 30 year old male fashion model who owns a castle in Spain and fosters kittens and puppies in his penthouse apartment when he’s not flying me to Paris for the weekend.
“There are a LOT of “nice guys” out there!” Oh-oh. I have to explain I cannot buddy up to another warm body for the sole reason he is a “nice guy” and therefore unlikely to beat me up or steal my car. And your idea of a nice guy clashes with mine, anyway.
Well, eventually I showed 'em all and flabbergasted everybody by getting married before some vague sell-by date. But I remember that question. Like really, what else are you going to say?
I used to mutter something about the "terms of my parole . . . "
Because I’m lesbian.
It’s a lot harder for homosexuals to find prospective partners because there are a lot fewer of us.
Hey, be nice now.
I’m familiar with the spousal and child support laws.
I cannot find a suitable woman who wants a trophy husband.
Yeah, the psychos might object to being grouped in with the rest of them.[sup]*[/sup]
Conversely: “I’m into earlier Star Wars and can’t get with the newer ones”…actually got into a big argument with a guy while dating because I didn’t want to go see the pod-racing one yet AGAIN! 