Once you’re married, you’re married forever. Therefore it’s best to take your time, and to really be sure that this relationship is going to last forever. Seven months in, you’re still really in the “honeymoon” stages.
Like I can talk, we got engaged after 13 months, it’s not like we waited years, but we didn’t rush into the wedding, we took another two years before we got married.
Anyway, we are a few years older which makes a difference. At 18, your personality isn’t set in stone, and you might find the next couple of years make a big difference to you as a person. At the end of that time, you might not even have anything in common with your girlfriend - or, you might find yourself loving her more everyday. All I know is, at 20 I was totally different in personality compared to when I was 18. I actually dropped most of my friends in that time because my values and attitudes changed so much that I found that not only did I have nothing in common with them, but that I didn’t like them at all. By the time I was 22, I was living a completely different life, with different friends, different values. What I’m saying here is, don’t get engaged too young! You don’t know what changes the next couple of years will bring.
Engagements can be as long or short as you like. We were engaged two years, which some people considering ridiculously long and others thought was way too short. I know a couple who’ve been engaged 5 years and show no signs of making it to the altar any time soon. Many people seem to wait this long and longer - weddings can be so expensive, it often takes years to save for them. I’ve known more people who have long engagements than short ones, which fits well into my observation that more religious people tend to have shorter engagements (I don’t know that many religious people). One of those couples took only 6 months between meeting and marrying. I personally thought that was ridiculous, but the girl’s parents were ecstatic. Another couple that I don’t really know have just married after a two week long engagement. The guy’s ex-fiancee is confused, because when she saw him in February he wasn’t dating the woman he’s now married to. I rolled my eyes when my cousin told me off for marrying a man I’d known “only three years”. He has a daughter with a woman who he’d known for “only one night”. Also, while he thinks marriage is too big a commitment to rush into with his girlfriend of 5 years, they are actively trying for a baby. I take his opinions lightly.
Keep these things in mind
- It’s unlikely that you’ve finished growing and maturing, and the next couple of years could make a significant difference to your personality. Don’t tie yourself down at 18.
- A broken relationship is hard. A broken engagement is harder. A broken marriage is the worst of all.
- Forever is a long time. There’s no need to rush forever.
- Your engagement can be as long or short as you want it to be. You can have a 10 year long engagement, or you can spontaniously get engaged on your way to Vegas and be married before the day is out. No matter what you do, someone somewhere will think your engagement was too short, and someone else will think it was too long, so do whatever pleases you and learn to ignore everyone else.
- Marriage doesn’t really change anything. I lived with Mr Cazzle before we were married, and we spent our wedding night in our own home. I still had to wash his dirty dishes in the morning. The biggest adjustment - I’m still getting used to a new surname. That is all. Marriage is a huge big deal, but once the ceremony is over - life just goes back to normal. I’m not saying marriage is bad! I’m just saying - it’s not that different to just living together.
I’ll leave you with something that you may find funny or just silly… Mr Cazzle and I had discussed getting married, but hadn’t become engaged yet. However, he would (almost daily) ask me “Will you marry me?” and I would say “Yes!” or “Maybe…”, and he would say “Just checking”. It was a great fun game One day he said “Will you marry me?” and I said “Sure…” (I was half asleep) and he said “That time was for real”. That’s how we became engaged So much for my dreams of a candlelit dinner and wine and romance, but at least it was the man I’d dreamed of.