How lucky can you get?

Well, if we’re going to have a downer thread about being unlucky, I wanted one about people falling in the sewer and coming up with roses.

Any wild stories? Huh?

I found some money in my trouser pocket this morning that I had forgotten about, does that count?

It only hurts when I laugh.

A wild story? Well okay.

A couple of months ago, it was billybob’s anniversary. Now old billybob was not the most thoughtful guy in the world and his significant other had been made aware of this on numerous occasions. billybob was walking along heading home not realizing it was his anniversary. As he walked along a car drove by and spashed muddy water on billybob. Wet and annoyed billybob did not notice the hole that he was about to step in. Once at the bottom of the hole billybob realized that he had found an open man-hole leading into the sewer (his nose gave him the last hint). Just as he was about to climb out of that hole, a scene was taking place above.

It seems that snobbob was finally getting around to asking his girl to be his wife. So he had a dozen roses and a diamond ring for his beauty. However, the fair maiden knew that snobbob had been cheating on her and instead of accepting these gifts, she threw them into aforementioned hole. Being that snobbob was the kind of man he is, he decided it would be beneath him to climb down in that hole to get the ring.

Now billybob gets smacked in the head with the roses and the ring box. He thinks great, I now have some roses with which I can give to my beloved. I also have this little box. I do not know what she might do with the box, but I might as well give it to her.

billybob climbs out of the hole and heads home. billybob’s wife, bettysue, is, at this point, a little worried about billybob. bettysue knew not to expect anything from billybob for their anniversary. Finally billybob gets home and gives her the roses. She is so happy that he remembered this important day. Then he gave her the box. It was sort of wet and kind of smelly, but she took this box from her man. When she opened it, she saw the biggest diamond she had ever seen.

bettysue thanked billybob for remembering their anniversary and for giving her such great gifts. She told him that they would skip dinner and go straight to desert, if he knew what she meant. He told her that his mamma would be very mad at him if he skipped dinner and ate desert, so they should have dinner first.

bettysue knew that she had her billybob and she loved him dearly.

The moral of the story, if you fall in a sewer and get hit in the head with roses and a box, give the roses to your wife and check the box. If it is a diamond ring give that to her as well. If it is an empty box, throw it back in the sewer.

Did that include all of the necessary elements?


Once when the guy at the used record store was bagging my purchase, he accidentally bagged a few extra records that were lying on the counter, and I ended up with two free Jimmy Cliff albums!

I once managed to finagle my way into a concert at a small club in L.A., and Metallica ended up making a surprise appearance!

That’s it. That’s my life.

I suggest this thread would be better served in the MPSIMS forum. (I disagree with the “mundane, pointless” designation in that title).

For The Straight Dope

Ncikrz, were you around on the old board? MPSIMS was a cherished tradition! <g> And the more mundane and pointless, the better! (You s’poze that’s why I got asked to moderate THAT forum??)

Give me you tired, your poor, your hungry, your teeming millions yearning to be mundane and pointless . . . . :slight_smile: