How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it, 50 to say how much better they could have done it, 50 to say how much better Lawrence Olivier did it, and 50 to call their agents and ask why they didnt get to audition for it.
None. That’s the stage hands union’s job.
How many Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb? Thirteen.
How many Solitaries does it take to change a light bulb? raise eyebrows and stare at 'em until they get it
How many Pagans does it take to change a light bulb? One to change it, and the rest to complain about how light bulbs never needed to be changed until Christianity came along…
Dang! I’m so disappointed. I opened this topic thinking for sure that someone would reveal at long last exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
So how many Oregonians does it take to change a light bulb?
At least 3, one to change the light bulb and two to chase away the Californians who’ve come to share the experience.
How many gorillas does it take? Only one, but it takes a shitload of bulbs.
Another surrealist answer: Two, one to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
How many democrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. While they were busy creating the “enlightenment program”, which would create 3,000 more light-changer jobs, (while only raising your taxes 5%!), a republican got the job done.
Q: How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Does it HAVE to be a lightbulb?
Q. How many editors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Only one; but first they have to rewire the entire building.
Q. How many managing editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. You were supposed to have changed that lightbulb last week!
Q. How many cover artists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Why is there…an eggbeater, I think?..sticking out of this light
fixture?
Q. How many copyeditors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. The last time this question was asked, it involved art directors.
Is the difference intentional? Should one or the other instance be
changed? It seems inconsistent.
Q. How many proofreaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Proofreaders aren’t supposed to change lightbulbs. They should just
query them.
Q. How many marketing directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. It isn’t too late to make this neon instead, is it?
Q. How many sales directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. (pause) I get it! This is one of those lightbulb jokes, right?
Q. How many agents does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Only one, but he keeps 15% of the light put out by the bulb over its
lifetime.
Q. How many writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. But why do we have to CHANGE it?
Q. How many publishers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Three. One to screw it in, two to hold down the author.
Q: How many Production people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.
Q: How many Production people does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Damn it! I can’t believe they’re changing the freakin’ lightbulb AGAIN!!!
…but when you get blue, and you’ve lost all your dreams, there’s nothing like a campfire and a can of beans!
