“Keep watching the skies!” - The Thing
“Keep watching the skis!” - Hans, WinterPark ski instructor
1 to post how this thread reminded of the time their cute, fluffy kitty did something with a lightbulb, drawing 22 posts of how cute that was, and their own cute, fluffy kitty/light bulb stories, and several others from posters who hate cute, fluffy kitties, who are then called assholes by the cute, fluffy kitty lovers.
I didn’t see this one: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
- One holds the ladder, one goes up the ladder with a bulb, and the other seven drink 'til the room spins around the bulb.
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
The exact answer cannot be determined as they don’t actually “do” things like changing lightbulbs. However, several will issue press releases regarding the failure of the existing bulb, seek appropriations for light bulb factories in their respective legislative districts, Arlen Specter will call for a commission to be empaneled to study the facts surrounding the failure, eventually releasing the ‘Lone Bulb Theory’ report, Democrats will lobby for more bulbs for inner city housing projects, Republicans will lobby for increased Government Regulation of Light Bulb manufacture, Lyndon Larouche will claim that the bulb never even burned out, and that the whole thing is a conspiracy, while Al Gore will take credit for inventing the light bulb.
The light bulbs were the feature of the on-stage act. In between stage appearances he would sit in a corner, biting off the heads of live chickens and eat the heads which were the mainstay of his overall diet.
You could probably say he was a bloody a… h…!
Nah. Californians don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in Jacuzzis.
rim-shot
I believe you missed one, Flamsterette:
Why does it take 6 women with PMT to screw in a lightbulb?
BECAUSE IT JUST DOES, ALRIGHT?!!
One to point out that this thread has been chosen in Threadspotting…
12 to provide links to photos to their unique lightbulbs.
17 to ask where they got their unique lightbulbs.
29 to post ebay auctions for totally unique lightbulbs.
13 to say “Boy, some people will buy anything on ebay.”
7 to complain about the links not working.
5 to post things that were posted earlier in the very long lightbulb thread.
2 to scream “READ THE WHOLE THREAD BEFORE YOU POST.”
Has anyone yet pointed out that “Changing Light Bulbs” would make a great BAND NAME!?
7 … that should be to condemn those 7 as anal retentive, not 6, definitely 7
Flamsterette missed two more:
How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
- Fish.
- Two. One to paint the giraffe, and another to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
How many Zen masters does it take to change a lightbulb?
…
That one wasn’t in my book, sorry.
And I believe you mean PMS… unless you mean “PMT” as in “Pre-Menstrual Tension.” 
Hey, the “surrealists” one sounds like what I had for Salvador Dali. Upon further reflection, it also sounds like what I had for the modern artists. Similar stuff, anyhow…
F_X
How many minimalists does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
The answer to the Zen Masters one is on the first page 
1 to go ‘what’s this “when come back, bring pie” thingy all about?’
wait for it…
what’s this ‘when come back, bring pie’ thingy about?
1 to provide the necessary link to answer a previous poster’s inquiry.
That was surreal!
A rather longer version of the PMS gag runs:
One. ONE! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because NO-ONE ELSE even KNOWS where the spare light-bulbs are KEPT!! They would sit there in the the dark, straining their eyes and going BLIND for THREE DAYS before they FIGURED it OUT!!!
And even if by SOME MIRACLE they managed to FIND the dumb BULBS, TWO WEEKS LATER the chair they dragged through from the dining room to STAND ON would STILL BE THERE, UNDER the LIGHT SOCKET!
And underneath it would be the WRAPPER the DAMN BULB came in! Because NO-ONE EVER PICKS UP RUBBISH IN THIS HOUSE!
The house! THE HOUSE! DO NOT GET ME STARTED ABOUT THE HOUSE!!! It would take an EARTH MOVER to pick up the PILES OF RUBBISH that are 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THIS HOUSE!!!
Chocolate, chocolate, I need chocolate, WHERE is my CHOCOLATE, I HAD a BAR of CHOCOLATE RIGHT IN THIS DRAWER, I will PERSONALLY rip out and EAT the LIVER of whoever took my chocolate… oh, here it is… DAMN it’s all MELTED at the CORNER and the WRAPPER is all ripped, I can’t eat this, oh GOD I am going to be SICK NOW…
So anyway, I saw this cute little pair of shoes in Sears, they’d be just the thing for my new formal and they were only $24.95. What were we talking about?
That was Zen Buddhists. The true Zen Master knows that there is no definitive answer. That the answer must be found inside oneself–like the sound of one-hand clapping.
Ah, i feel like i now (dont) know. thankyou Frood.
1 poster to hijack and say 'Gemma, that was über-surreal. and very cool. ;j ’
One to bump the thread a week later for no good reason.
[evil laugh]