How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

[Sternvogel]

MESSENGER SERVICE

Hi … my name is Brittany … Brit for short…

I just checked your profile, and you seemed pretty cool, so I thought I would contact you!

I just got a new webcam and decided to change a lightbulb! Now this is not so unusual, except I did it naked while taking a break from having sex with my friends Amber, Jessica, and Nicole! They all like to take turns changing lightbulbs (and doing other things, lol!) in the bedroom too!

So come watch us! You don’t need a webcam, it’s fun, and we’re not going to charge you any money!

Just copy and paste this address into your browser…

www.changebulbnude.com

[Mangetout]

zgetxf wclargerhjj qzxlightkk nnbulbsz qwwithoutbk pwqsurgeryzz

[spingears]

*Originally posted by SanguineSpider *
**First off, I recognize genius when I see it. I get your name, man, I GET it, and no one else does. So there! Ha…

Secondly, lightbulbs make a crunchy treat. Fill up a big bowl with somma them lightbulbs ‘round All Hallow’s Eve and the kids will just swarm your house! No bag o’ poo on the porch, oh no. No tricks. Just 'appy kids crunching away on those tasty treats, I assure ya.

Now, you may get one-a them kids that’s a real prankster and will try to do an “Uncle Fester” deal with that there bulb in his goofy lil’ mouth. Just you smack ‘im good an proper an he’ll be spittin’ glass for days on end, bleedin’ out his lips real nicely.

Okokokokokokokokokok, I know! I’m WEIRD, and I happen to be joking, so ha! HA! HA HA HA!
(Disclaimer: No lightbulbs or children were harmed during the making of this post.) **

I’ll bet you never saw an old time carnival geek really eat light bulb, double endged razor blades, live snakes, etc. adnauseum. :eek:

[AncientHumanoid]

*Originally posted by spingears *
**I’ll bet you never saw an old time carnival geek really eat light bulb, double endged razor blades, live snakes, etc. adnauseum. :eek: **

I have.

Made me adnauseum… :::queasy:::

[if6was9]

*Originally posted by Mangetout *
**Three repairmen call at a motel for on a maintenance call. The manager tells them that 30 light bulbs need replacing. They each hand over 10 light bulbs. Later, the manager tells the handyman that only 25 light bulbs were actually out, so the manager gives the handyman five light bulbs to return to the repairmen. Not knowing how to divide 5 light bulbs among three men, the handyman gives 1 light bulb back to each man and keeps the other 2 light bulbs for himself. This means that the three men have each handed over 9 light bulbs to the project, which is a total of 27 light bulbs. Add the 2 light bulbs that the handyman kept and you have 29 light bulbs. What happened to the other light bulb? **

Ignore this if it is obvious to more adroit posters…

If all three repairmen ultimately give up 9 bulbs each, then 27 bulbs, minus the two the handyman kept, equals the 25 that they replaced. But I’ll be damned if I can understand why the OP makes so much (non) sense! :eek:

[Flamsterette_X]

*Originally posted by NoClueBoy *
**Flamme, since “tow” is a word, the spell checker didn’t catch when you substituted it for “two.”

No big deal. I do it all the time.

I thought a good bit of tht post was funny, btw. But… I AM OFFENDED BY THE… **

Ah yes… the failures of spellcheck. :smack: Guess that’s what happens when you use that to catch the majority of your mistakes. But was I really going to proofread that LONG post manually? Maybe I should have, but wasn’t worth it! Eh well.

You’re offended by the :), eh? Hmm…

Or are you offended by something else? (in a joking / serious manner) Ah well, live and learn.

F_X

[Moe]

*Originally posted by spingears *
**I’ll bet you never saw an old time carnival geek really eat light bulb, double endged razor blades, live snakes, etc. adnauseum. :eek: **

What seems particularly odd to me is that, with dietary habits such as you describe, this guy would be so concerned about his caloric intake as to prefer light bulbs.

[Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup]

Well, they’re less filling.

[ChordedZither]

1. 437 to post long lists of ways to change a lightbulb,
2. 53 of whom will say “Hi, Opal” in their second item
3. 1 newbie to ask, “Who’s Opal?”
   and
4. 7 simulposts by long-time posters jumping in to explain time-honored SDMB traditions

[Scuba_Ben]

1 to use the Tired Old In-Joke about 1920s style “death rays.”
1 to use the TOIJ about “When come back, bring pie.”
1 to use the TOIJ about “Hi Opal!”
1 to use an even older TOIJ.

[Moe]

*Originally posted by Scuba_Ben *
**1 to use an even older TOIJ. **

All your lightbulbs are belong to us!!!

[Moe]

*Originally posted by Scuba_Ben *
**1 to use the Tired Old In-Joke about 1920s style “death rays.”
1 to use the TOIJ about “When come back, bring pie.”
1 to use the TOIJ about “Hi Opal!”
1 to use an even older TOIJ. **

This post has been lit by the lightbulb…er

OK, I’ll stop now.

[Gazelle]

No one’s pulled up a lawn chair yet?

1 to pull up a lawn chair to watch the lightbulb being changed.

[Gazelle]

*Originally posted by if6was9 *
**Off topic… How many Software Engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None! That’s a hardware problem! **

What if it’s a GE Soft White lightbulb?

What then? Huh? Huh?

[Ilsa_Lund]

1 Mod to say that there will not be any posts that simply say “Pulling up a Lawnchair,” and warning the offending poster that if they continue to post irrelevant posts, they WILL BE BANNED.
35 posts from people pointing 1920’s style death rays at every poster who said “Ah, they’re 1920’s style Death Rays.”

[NinetyWt]

13 posters to say that the phrase “how many (fill in the blank)s does it take to change a light bulb?” has really jumped the shark.

[Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup]

1 happy scrappy smartass to say, “Ah, they’re light bulbs.”

(wait for it)

Ah, they’re light bulbs.

[Watcher_of_the_Skies]

2 to warn that the thread is in imminent danger of being closed down by the mods.

3 to post something that has absolutely nothing to do with the op, or even light bulbs.

4 to try to hijack the thread into something sequential.

This op was wonderful, by the way.

[Watcher_of_the_Skies]

Yikes, I just realized that my last post was my 500th.

[Ilsa_Lund]

3 Old Timers to say “Oh great, haven’t had a light bulb thread in a while :rolleyes:”
3 Middle aged posters to note the light bulb threads currently going on in GQ, GD and the Pit.