How many of you have fallen for your best friend?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

And I mean that you were best friends first.

I’m not in this position now, but I was reading another thread, and something triggered this. I had a major crush on my very best female friend through the whole latter half of high school, and she never really knew it, and I know she didn’t feel for me that way (we’ve talked about it since). It seems to me that guys and girls can be the absolute best of friends, but in my experience (and the experience of other friends), the guy invariably falls for the girl, but the girl rarely reciprocates. How many of you have been in this situation?

Jman (who’s happily living with his girlfriend of 4.5 years. She is his best friend.)

2

A little clarification here please. is she your best friend because you’re not allowed to have other friends, or is she really your best friend… or are you just saying that so that when she reads it you get laid tonight? :slight_smile:

As for the op, i haven’t had a Best friend who i fell for, but a good friend, and yeah, we aren’t really even friends anymore, i hate it when that happens…

3

She’s my best friend because we are best friends. Not much of an explanation, but the true one. I can spend 12 hours a day with her and not get sick of her. It’s really amazing…for me anyway. (note, I don’t actually spend 12 waking hours a day with her…we have work/school, other activities/friends)

Jman

4

I happen to have a fair number of female friends in addition to my male ones. And some of us got close and I did fall for some of my friends. I was only in a relationship with one of them, and it ended. Suffice to say, I got hurt in all of them and we’re all better friends than we ever were.

At the risk of a hijack, someone once said it’s impossible to have a close friend of the opposite sex and have it be truly platonic, in that there are no feelings whatsoever. I am inclined to agree with that.

5

Yes, he was my best friend first, and we’ve been a couple for over five years now.

6

I’m in love with my best friend right now. I even called it quits with the guy I was dating, even though I don’t think my best friend will date me. I told him last night how I felt about him…and cried like a baby. He was so sweet about it, and he said we’d talk seriously when he figured everything out.
He called me tonight, but we didn’t get a chance to talk. We will tomorrow, though.
I hope everything works out for the best…

7

Yup. Married her, too–though, truth be told, she “liked” me first (it took me a little while to come around/get a clue). I’ve never had a “best” friend like her (she is truly amazing), and now I never go a day without spending some of the day’s best moments with her.

8

DreamWorks, I see what you mean about being best friends and it never being truly platonic. I have just one thing. You see, my best friend is gay. Oh, yeah, I have had feelings for him but it will be no more but wishful thinking. We have been friends for all our lives, share everything, yet have never brought any thought of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship into our friendship. I just found out last year that he is gay. Not a big shock really. I guess that’s life.

9

Yeah, I fell hard. Massive crush, years-long.

The night we slept together is on my “Worst mistakes of my life” list. Right up there in the top five.

I miss him a lot, sometimes.

10

Count me in…

The guy I almost married-we were best friends for two years before things changed.

11

I am best friends with a girl, and I have started to fall for her. I spend every minute I get with her, and it is wonderful. She and I have tons in common, and we really get along great. Recently, however, I have fallen for her, but it is more a thing like “I know this would work, why not give it a shot?”, rather than, “Wow, she is hot, I wanna hit her up!”

12

While not my best friend, she knows more about me and what I think than any other person I know, mostly because she and I have a whole lot of deep conversations :). We’ve known each other for almost 5 years now, and I have huge amounts of fun whenever I’m with her.

As is obvious :slight_smile: I have a major crush on her, and have had one for six or seven months now. Besides being fun, she’s gorgeous, nice, funny, cute etc.

Now the problems. First, she doesn’t like me like that (she knows how I feel). She flirts a lot with me, but that means nothing (she’s a notorious flirt). That doesn’t stop the little optimistic part of my mind from perking up–until she goes and cuddles another guy two minutes later.

Second, she has a rapidly growing friendship (maybe more, it seems like it could easily evolve into it) with a guy that everyone but her considers to be an ass 90% of the time. If her and I do something together, I have a whole ton of fun, and maybe just this once she wasn’t thinking about him. I’m wrong. The next day she goes up to him, in front of me, and says something to the effect of “Hey, if you would’ve been home, you could’ve [insert what her and I did together] with me!”, or something to the effect, since it’s happened more than once.

Third, I can’t get over her. I asked her out, and she declined, and I thought “Well, better move on”. It wasn’t that easy. I think I’m over her, then we do something and it’s like I’m recharmed again. It’s been causing me nothing but anguish, but I don’t see an end in site.

Ooops, I ranted a little, sorry about that.

13

It happens. I fell for my best friend, but there was no way anything was going to work out between us. After talking it through with her, things weren’t nearly so uncomfortable.

I do want to fall in love again, but with someone that’ll return it this time.

14

What is a ‘friend?’ Websters:

1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war — called also Quaker

What then is ‘best?’

1 : excelling all others the best student
2 : most productive of good or of advantage, utility, or satisfaction what is the best thing to do
3 : MOST, LARGEST *it rained for the best part of their vacation

I suppose all my friends & women friends too, were at one time a best friend. When one has very few friends, one usually has a best friend, but when one has many friends, one usually cannot decide which is the best.

15

Thanks, Handy. I was wondering if I should post here. I think this fits the definition.

When I was growing up, in a small corner of our subdivision there were 5 boys and 3 girls all within a 3 year age group. We were all best friends together. We 3 girls usually were the closest with each other but not all the time. I had a wonderful friendship with one of the boys. But we fell for each other and usually not at the same time. Sometimes we were in sync with our feelings and we’d go steady then. He was my first kiss and my first love. We broke up for good our senior year of high school. I still miss his friendship. :frowning:

16

::Raises hand slowly:: Guilty as charged. I’ve fallen for 2 of my best friends, one of them right now. He means the world to me, and it hurts to see him with someone else. It hurts even more when he tells me (and only me), how much she means to him. Great…just keep stabbing that knife in deeper and deeper…

As for the first, we were best friends, dated, didn’t work out, and now we never talk. It sucks…

17

Been there, done that. Twice. Once with disasterous results, second time, all seems to be going smoothly.

The first time, I was best friends with this guy through most of HS and my freshman year of college. We could talk, joke, laugh… whatever. Never seemed to get sick of spending time together. Then I fell. Told him, we tried dating. Some other horrid things happened, and now I don’t have that best friend any more.

The second one I’m dating now. 5 years of an internet friendship, and I had feelings for him off and on (I was dating someone else at the time, so I tried to hide the feelings from everyone, including myself) I freed myself of the other relationship, started talking with the best friend, floored him with my revelations, and we decided to see where this road is going to lead. So far seems to be so good, but we’re taking it slow, and we’re doing our best to make sure that the friendship isn’t jeopardized above anything else.

18

Oh man, I do that all the time and it’s killing me.

It makes for the best and most honest relationships, by far, but when you know the other party doesn’t feel the same way and hence you keep it a secret… that’s some bad ass pain man.

But on the whole it IS worth it, I’ve never even felt close to a girl I didn’t know for some time before things took a romantic turn. It’s just not always in the cards.

— G. Raven

19

One should of course be friends before being lovers. Perhaps then the OP is a moot point?

20

Exactly the way I fell about relationships, shouldn’t just rush into them, and yes i have recently told my bestfriend(a chick)who I’d been bestfriends with for almost three years, and kept it a secret until a week ago, feelings weren’t mutual, don’t know if we will ever be friends again, although now that I’ve got it out into the open at least I know and can try to move on. (the pain of not knowing what “could be”, has been replaced with the pain of losing my best friend)