FormerMarineGuy has started a pollhere about Dopers’ numbers of sexual experiences. We’ve seen answers ranging form one to a thousand. I’d like to ask a couple of complementary questions:
*In a perfect world, how many sexual partners would you have liked to have at this point in your life? Assume you somehow start off your sexual history with as much knowledge as you currently possess. If your answer is different from reality, why is that so? *
Wow, that sentence is hard to parse.
Of course I’ll answer first. I’d winnow my list down to under twenty.
As for why: As I said in the other thread, I estimate I’ve had been with upwards of a hundred people; that’s a very rough guess, based on the fact that the one time I actually made a list–15 years ago, in college–the answer was twenty-four, and I’ve had sex with a lot of women since then. I’d eliminate my first “partner,” of course, because that was rape; I’d also eliminate the vast majority of the one-night stands, especially the married ones.
I would like to have had about a dozen more. These were the women who were there and willing, but I passed on for various reasons. I also would have liked to have been with the one I’m with now sooner.
I didn’t get into the main thread (I’m around eight partners) but if I was to change my number, it’d justbe to go upwards by perhaps two people. Both in the form of relationships I didn’t pursue at the time but would be interested in know how they would have panned out.
I wish I’d been a little sluttier. My mother drummed it into me that any guy I went home with on the first date would turn out to be a serial killer. A few years ago I took her to task for this: “You know, out of all those guys, I’ll bet only two or three would’ve turned out to be serial killers.”
After all, presumably you’ve have found it the guy was a serial killer when you woke up naked in the pit in the dungeon with Captain Stottlemeyer standing above you, anxious to measure you for a skin dress. Had that happened, you’d either (a) be toast or (b) have been rescued by Clarice Starling but also cured of going home with guys on first dates.
Back to the OP, I sometimes wonder what women who are willing to have sex with me after such a brief acquaintance are THINKING. It’s not like I’m gorgeous or anything, and they’re always smaller than I am; I’ve thought more than once, “You 'd better be glad I’m not psychotic in that direction.*” In more than a few cases, I’d say, they were being as self-destructive & -loathing as I.
My insanities are all in other directions.
I have had 6. I would have liked it to be 1 only. I am faithful and believe one partner is all you need in life.
Realisty is idfferent because I was so desparate for a boyfriend I knew I could only get those guys to see me if I had sex. of course they took off right after that so it didn’t work out that way.
*In a perfect world, how many sexual partners would you have liked to have at this point in your life? Assume you somehow start off your sexual history with as much knowledge as you currently possess. If your answer is different from reality, why is that so? *
Since you were so kind (and open) to participate in my scientific study, I would be more than happy to partake in yours.
I wish I had less than my current amount of partners, as it probably took away some of my childhood. I lost my virginity at 12 years old and probably had sex with about 20 different girls until I hit 18 years old.
Perhaps 30 women total would be a good number for me.
I have learned that I get bored with women easily, once I did a few things with them (got as many crazy things done, got them to do things they wouldn’t normally do), I pretty much gave up on them.
Except for my WIFE, who surprises me often with freaky crazy stuff to keep things interesting. That would be a great thread all by itself.
I often wish I’d had just one relationship that lasted my entire adult life. When I see old couples that’ve been together 50 or 60 years, it seems like it would be very comfortable and solid to have that. Then again, it could be horribly stifling and boring, but I’ll never know, will I?
I’ll take the opposite tack here. I’d prefer to have had only one, in a perfect romantic love that lasted a lifetime. Sadly, though my mind’s eye sees the bold knight in shining armor riding a noble steed and charging dragons to save the maiden fair, the mirror shows a dumpy Don Quixote with a soup pot helmet riding a donkey and tilting at windmills…
I’ve had two. If the question is a general “How high would you like your number to be?” then I guess the answer is two. It’s not like I feel I’ve missed out on something. I’ve never felt that my low number has been a hindrance in any way, and I doubt it ever will be.
Now, if the question is “If you’d had sex with all the people you wish you’d had sex with, how high would your number be?” then let me see… eight or nine, I guess.
You have no idea what we’re both missing (since I can’t have it anymore either, what with the DAMN DIABETES!!), so I shan’t hold that mistaken opinion against you. But trust me: cold sweet potato pie is one of the wonders of the world.
But not with whipped cream on it. That’s just wrong. When I am god-king, putting whipped cream on sweet potato pie or hot cocoa shall be punished by death.
I often have the same wish. It’s worse when I think of the specific woman I wish I hadn’t screwed things up with, and sometimes moves me, stupidly, to add to the total I ordinarily wish I could subtract from.
And, the third option: if my ex and I were still together and had kept going to that swinger’s club and had started playing around there… ooh, twenty more? Fifty? A hundred? Hard to say.
Oakminster, that’s not quite an opposite tack. I count four other posters who wish they had a smaller number, and five who want higher, so it’s hard to predict how the trend will go.
That’s kind of a different question. As I said, I wish my number were significantly lower, but I can think of at least one former co-worker I could wish to have rumpled the sheets with, and would have tried if she hadn’t been married. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I met her after I acquired scruples.
Stupid scruples. They’ve never done a damn thing for me.
