Good point.
Disheavel, you are my new hero. I would love to hear more stories if you have any!
Another good response to “Just curious” is “Oh.” <silence>
The annoying thing is that the more unusual the product or service, the more busybodies are wont to ask about the cost. I’ve been asked “how much does it cost” most often about my didgeridoo and my curling club membership. I mean, really. Who cares? Are the people asking likely to ever buy these things?
It’s only the rude co-workers and pals who ask. I usually answer “50 bucks”, no matter what it is, car, house, sword, whatever.
But I did wonder if anyone else was bothered by this. It seems to be pretty much an American thing.
Yes, I forget about this one sometimes. Silence is a wonderful, wonderful thing. It causes the other person to have to ask again, and except for the terminally stupid, people feel more and more awkward.
“How much did it cost?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“Just curious.”
“Oh.”
Silence.
“Well?”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to tell me how much it cost?”
“I wasn’t intending to” (with a smile) “I can’t remember”, “Too much” or many other things can go here.
Heck a friend is going through a divorce and she shares all the $ details with me.
I just sold some land and am doing a big remodel project and I have been sharing those numbers too. We also know each others salaries.
:shrug: Doesn’t bother me in the least. Though I often truthfully don’t remember.
My MIL was a prime offender with this question. She wanted to know how much EVERYTHING cost. On hearing the price she had two predictable responses: (1) You paid too much or (2) You paid too little. Either you were a ridiculous extravagant ninny or too cheap to buy something decent. If the item was a gift to her, there was the added risk that you were insulting her somehow. This was a real problem for me, as my family never would ask such a question, especially about a gift. We were taught that you were to express appreciation for any gift and to consider the fact that it was a gift to be the intrinsic value.
The all-time worst was a “friend” who came right out and asked me my net worth. Come to think of it, I don’t see that “friend” much any more.
I will ask people how much things cost only if I know them very well* and it is something I intend to aquire myself. If either of those things is not true, I don’t ask.
*This list of people contains my sister. mother and two best friends.
If I give someone a gift, and they have the absolute tackiness to ask how much the goddamn thing was, I have a set of responses for this, too,
“Oh, it wasn’t too much, and besides, I really wanted to get it for you.”
If they keep asking, you say with a wink and a smile, “I’ll never tell.” And then don’t!
Freddy the Pig, what on earth did you say? I mean, it’s not even a question I could answer off the top of my head.
For me it is entirely context dependent. When I am talking about material things with my good friends, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder what something cost, or what I paid for it. If I am curious, I’ll ask my friends “Can I ask what that cost you?” That way you’re not asking them directly what something cost, but if it’s OK to talk about cost, and it lets them decide how specific to be with their answers.
And there are some specialized products, musical instruments for example, that if I am talking about them with other musicians, I consider it perfectly appropriate to discuss price as just one of the many characteristics of an instrument. But there are polite ways to talk about prices and crass ways to talk about prices. If I were interested in a digeridoo, and saw someone playing one, and it looked like a high quality instrument, I would ask “Is a digeridoo like this expensive?” Then the dig-dooer could decide for himself how forthcoming he wants to be about prices.
Far more obnoxious are people who volunteer what they paid for something without my asking or showing the least bit of interest in what they paid. They are always either bragging about how wealthy they are to be able to afford such a quality item or bragging about what an incrediby good deal they got on something (usually as a result of machisimo attitude) to which my stock answer is always “Boy did you get screwed.”
That was my dodge–“I dunno; I haven’t added it up lately.” I’m sure there are better smartass answers, but I was too blindsided to think.
“Well, your half comes to fifty bucks.” Or some appropriate dollar amount. Maybe you can make a profit!
Yeah, but 'Can I ask you…" is a non-question, really. Is it any more comfortable to say “no, you can’t ask” than to just answer “How much was that?” If someone can’t stop themselves from asking, I would rather a direct question than being sneaky about it.
I had a pair of random strangers approach me this weekend and ask how much my car cost. I’m normally kind of a grouch about interactions like this but I tried a new tactful brushoff and I answered “15-20k, depending on options”. That gave her the info she needed without me providing any details of what we actually paid.
Two buttons, three paperclips, a piece of belly button lint (long pause) and the soul of a virgin child sacrificed on the night of the full moon.
“more than my first car, less than my current car.”
Who cares if someone asks you how much something cost? It’s not your STD status. Nobody’s going to put you on some registry of cheap and/or extravagant people.
And it’s not like you can’t Google your Christmas gifts or cars or whatever and see what people probably paid for them anyway, which is why I personally don’t bother asking, but you all treat it like a damn state secret.
For me it depends on who’s asking and why they are asking. My best friend can ask me what I paid for anything and I’ll always tell her because she only asks if she’s contemplating getting something similar herself. I have another friend that I am a bit more well off than. I can totally tell when she’s asking because she’s thinking of getting something similar or if she’s asking because she’s curious as to how much I am spending on stuff. The last bit annoys me because I know if I tell her (because I used to answer her) she is going to say something like, “I wish I could afford <whatever>.”