How NOT to break up with your Internet boyfriend

[wring]

@tdn

Sorry for the hijack, but…
This has always confused me. Six months or five hundred dollars? In what universe are those remotely equivalent? Are there truly any people who would rather spend six months in jail than pony up $500?

yes there are. If you have no disposable income (or in some cases pretty much no income at all), the $500 could just as well be $20,000.

[Marley23]

Police say Crews told the man she was abducted from the airport, then raped, stabbed and dumped in a ditch.

I take it this is not the 51st way to leave your lover.

[Revtim]

You know what the worst part is? I waited four hours at the airport for that bitch!

[rjung]

Hey, at least she really was a woman…

[Try_As_I_Might]

@tdn

Sorry for the hijack, but…
This has always confused me. Six months or five hundred dollars? In what universe are those remotely equivalent? Are there truly any people who would rather spend six months in jail than pony up $500?

it’s typically not the defendant’s choice as to which he or she gets. if there are no sentencing concessions, the judge has the choice to give up to six months jail, up to a five hundred dollar fine, or both.

[Wolfian]

@Metacom

Unfortunately, she’ll be late for her first court appearance and confined for the duration of her trial when the judge doesn’t buy her “I was gang-raped by a squad of invading left-wing Columbian guerillas who burnt me at the stake and then disembowled me and hung me from a tree by my intestines while they listened to Frank Sinatra albums” excuse.

Well duh. Only the right-wing guerillas like Sinatra. The lefties favor Tony Bennett.

[furt]

Yes, but is she hot?

[Loopydude]

@Revtim

You know what the worst part is? I waited four hours at the airport for that bitch!

That hurts. You could have used that time to hit on a stewardess or something.

[Cagey_Drifter]

i don’t understand this at all:

For more than an hour this weekend, Kansas City Police searched for a Kentucky woman who told them she had been kidnapped and dumped in a ditch near the airport.

So… she was supposedly talking to the police from the ditch from a cellphone?

[Hal_Briston]

I wonder if an opportunistic abducter/rapist/stabber/ditch-dumping type of guy will look at her as a prime “cry wolf” target now.

[Cat_Whisperer]

It sounds like she used Dar Heatherington as a role model. Dar was also found guilty of public mischief after faking an abduction and claimed rape. I’m guessing this is some kind of mental condition that makes people act so inappropriately.

[Freddy_the_Pig]

I bet the next time that cad offers his date a ride from the airport and insists on meeting her at the terminal!

[Enderw24]

@Cagey Drifter

i don’t understand this at all:

So… she was supposedly talking to the police from the ditch from a cellphone?

This was a fun story when it hit the KC Star the next day. Yeah, she was using her cellphone. That’s how they found her too. Police got suspicious that something was going on when

1. she said she didn’t hear heliocopters roaring over the location she claimed to be at
2. Her cellphone still had power about two hours into the ordeal, even though various police officers had lost power to theirs.

So they tracked her using her cellphone signature (why they didn’t do this immediately during a search and rescue I have no idea), and discovered she wasn’t even in KC. That’s when they called up the police dept in her county and had them go and get her.

[Ghanima]

What the hell was her plan? To talk until her batteries ran out? Tell the cops “It’s cool, I think I’m OK, I’ll just walk home now. Thanks for the effort, though”? Fake death throes over the phone and then hang up? or leave the phone on? Did she actually tell them her real name? The guy truly dodged a bullet. That woman is a fucking IDIOT.

[Marley23]

@Loopydude

That hurts. You could have used that time to hit on a stewardess or something.

That’s what economists call “the opportunity cost.”

[duffer]

@Try As I Might...

it’s typically not the defendant’s choice as to which he or she gets. if there are no sentencing concessions, the judge has the choice to give up to six months jail, up to a five hundred dollar fine, or both.

Also keep in mind. After 6 months in jail you not only have propbably lost your job, but also your home unless you have a very understanding partner or good friends to foot the bill. Plus you have the added benefit of playing catch-up on a half-year’s worth of bills. The $500 can be very daunting. Though nowhere near enough in this case. The bitch will get community service and counseling. Mark my words.

[SleepyDuck]

@NurseCarmen

The worst part of this story is that Neil Diamond’s ‘Kentucky Woman’ is going to be stuck in my head all day.

Hmmm, you may owe the Commonwealth of Kentucky performance royalties.

[Wolfian]

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, dear Avil Lavane!
Happy birthday to you!

Come an get me, royaltity people!

[brownie55]

I just wanted to say I was sorry Bricker lost his internet boyfriend.

Then I read the OP.

I guess he can’t even get an internet boyfriend and has to talk about sombody else’s. Chin up Bricker, he’s out there waiting for you.

[Silentgoldfish]

@featherlou

It sounds like she used Dar Heatherington as a role model. Dar was also found guilty of public mischief after faking an abduction and claimed rape. I’m guessing this is some kind of mental condition that makes people act so inappropriately.

:rolleyes:

If you want to define being an idiot as a mental condition…