Y’know…pick an object, focus on it intently, and just try to see if you can make anything happen? It’s not like you expect it to work, but hell, it can’t hurt to check. After all, if you found out on your deathbed that you’d developed telekinetic powers years ago (and you’d find out on your deathbed because if nothing else there’d be some point where you’d wish the TV remote were closer so you didn’t have to spend your final moments listening to Vince hawk the Schticky), wouldn’t you be pissed that you didn’t have time to do anything fun with it?
I don’t recommend spending a lot of time on it — once a month or so gets it done — but the price of the fantasy is even less than a lottery ticket, and comes with, in my experience, a far greater ROI.
I know I’m not the only one who does this, so fess up.
I chose ‘daily’, but then I am constantly getting bitten by radioactive insects, blasted with cosmic rays and hit by glowing meteors. I figure it is only a matter of time now.
That reminds me of a photo caption I saw in The Onion once that was something similar to: Haunted stapler at a loss for ways to demonstrate hauntedness.
I try it occasionally, usually when the TV remote is juuuust out of reach. I always figure it’s more likely to work on an object very close to me rather than one that’s far away. There’s probably an inverse square distance rule, like with gravity.
This, basically. Everyone has strong telekinetic powers, essentially equivalent to the strong nuclear force, and likewise acting over a distance of 1 to 3 femtometers (that is, the distances involved in holding protons and neutrons together in an atomic nucleus).
So when you get your new high-tech quantum-TV-remote-control you can operate it with ease, using only spooky action at a distance.
In order to develop lucid dreaming I will occasionally check during the day to see if perhaps I’m having a dream. I often do this if something unusual is happening, but in theory I should just develop the habit, so that when I check in a dream I’ll be able to say ‘Ahah! I’m dreaming, now to take control of this sucker’.
Anyway. The way I check to see if I’m dreaming is to try and shoot fire out of my index finger. If it works, I’m either dreaming or have developed superpowers.
I tried it and it actually worked once, but only once.
Years ago, my GF of the time and I were all cuddled up on the couch together. She asked me to change the channel but I couldn’t because it was sitting on the coffe table just out of reach.
Being the silly guy that I am, I did that Luke Skywalker thing where I stretched out my hand making grunting sounds. My dog was witnessing this whole thing go down. Giving me that classic head tilted to the side, quizzical look.
My GF and I found this to be amusing, prompting me to keep doing it. Finally, the dog got up, grabbed the remote and dropped it in my lap! (Hilarity ensued along with a big WTF?)
I tried for ages to get him to repeat that awesome trick, but he just wouldn’t do it. I miss that dog.
Several times daily. The stupid cats like to sleep in front of the remote receiver on the tv, so I try to move them without getting up or throwing something at them. (They don’t respond to calls, finger snaps, laser pointers, etc.)
It never occured to me until this moment to see if I had telekinetic powers.
Guess what-- now that I’ve answered “never” I see that I can lift my whiskey bottle
to my lips without touching it!!!
I was competely unable to make any money off of the fact that I have been abducted
by real, honest-to-God aliens in real, honest-to-God flying saucers on a number of occasions.
Maybe my luck will be better with this telekinesis stuff!
I have never tested my telekinetic power to move objects. However I do test my power to make bad things happen to people who annoy me on at least a weekly basis, so far with little success (although I don’t know for sure whether the person who was texting while blocking the escalator actually ended up falling and breaking her ankle).
So when I was about 18 years old, sitting in the rec room at my parents house, I decided to try it out. There was this large stone ashtray sitting on top of the old Sears dehumidifier like it always did, and I tried to move it. I focused my psychic energy for about 10 seconds when the ashtray (easily weighing 3-4 pounds) began to slide off the top. I leapt up and caught it before it hit the floor. The top of the dehumidifier was slick with condensation, and the thing was perceptibly vibrating, causing the motion. But that hunk of rock had sat on that machine for years without this happening. Of course it was just one of those weird coincidences, but it was pretty shocking to see that thing move right at that time.
I test it a couple of times a week, while driving. if I had telekinesis, every jackass who cuts me off would suddenly find themselves on the side of the road, their car overturned but otherwise undamaged. If you ever see on the news that there’s a rash of overturned cars, it’s me.
Not since I was a kid and found out the ice cream cone was empty on the bottom unless I put some there myself.
I don’t have time to waste rechecking. Fantasy doesn’t buy me anything.
