Once in a blue moon, it happens. I’m male, 49 years old. It’s usually women in their thirties or forties. I don’t know why they pick me.
It’s not my imagination. The first time I noticed it I was probably around 38. I was with my then longtime girlfriend and a woman friend of ours, and we passed a couple of women on the street, and our friend said something like “wow, SL, you just got seriously checked out.” My first thought was that my fly was open or something, but both my girlfriend and our friend confirmed that it was a definite check-out. On other occasions, the same thing has happened. At first it had to be pointed out to me by someone else, but lately I’ve been able to recognize it on my own.
I can’t imagine why anyone would check me out. I’m a tall, ridiculously thin (6’2", 150 pounds) guy with a ponytail and glasses. I certainly don’t look like a male model, nor do I look like I have any money. I don’t dress in an attention-getting fashion. It baffles me.
It isn’t like this happens all that frequently – I hope I’m not making it sound like that. It’s a nice little ego boost. I’d never respond – I’m very happy with my (female) partner and would never stray. But said female partner is just as baffling. I never could figure out why she’s attracted to me. She’s so far out of my league it isn’t funny.
Sometimes when I check women out I forget to smile. I just kind of make eye contact then avert my eyes. When women do this to me my initial thoughts are that they dislike me, except they’re waiting to catch my eye before averting their gaze. Body language is incredibly nuanced and hard to pick up on.
That being said, my answer is: sometimes.
Sometimes. I’m not from around here, so I’ve got the exotic foreigner thing going for me. I’m also in good shape after a couple of years of working at it, and dress well when I can. Face is decent, though not male-model handsome, nose on the “Roman” side, mid-thirties. I know I’m not going to win many beauty contests, but I’m also not going to give someone the dry heaves to look at, so I get some attention.
Everyone knows me in my home area, so I don’t get much here most of the time, but I sometimes get checked out when I go to neighboring towns or Tokyo. Happens more often, obviously, if I’m out at a bar or club since it’s a socially acceptable setting, and of course I’m all dressed up. Doesn’t seem to matter much if my wife is with me or not, though I probably notice it a lot less when she’s there since I try to ignore other women at those times.
Though the culture is different in a lot of ways, flirting works the same as the US. If I make eye contact, most of the time there’ll be a flickering glance away. If there’s interest, then either the initial contact won’t be broken quickly, or there will be another look after the break away. It’s not usually too difficult to figure out the difference between the “wow, it’s a real live gaijin!” and the “hey, I like him!” looks.
Most recent memorable occasion was when I was going around to gyms in the area I’m going to be moving to next month. The gym girl who was giving me a tour of the facilities actually reached out and felt my arm, looking up at me wide eyed, when I told her that 120 kg total weight on a single Smith machine and a bench press station weren’t going to be enough free weights to keep me happy. While that was a nice ego boost, I know I’m no Schwarzenegger. I’m only big compared to the twiggy Japanese pretty boys that seem to be this current generation’s crop. And apparently, no one lifts weights in Japan.
