I admit it, I am pathetic.
I was shopping at the mall this weekend when I see a large group of people gathered in front of a new optical center. They were having their grand opening. Just as I was planning my route of escape, I notice that one of the speakers is none other than the gorgeous weather/traffic guy from our local FOX station. The same guy that makes me slobber all over myself whenever his face and (oh GOD) buff body appear on my TV screen. The same guy who makes me care about the traffic 50 miles away. The same guy who has starred in numerous fantasies and wet dreams. He is even more goodlooking in person and oh that bod!
So anyway, there are 9 billion people standing in and around the shop. They have refreshments and drawings and a ribbon cutting ceremony. Instead of avoiding the crowd and getting on with my shopping, I slowly fight my way to the refreshment table at the back end of the shop under the pretense of getting something to drink. I really didn’t want one.
What I did want was to touch Dave’s ass. I made sure that I squished into the area where he was standing, then . . . ::: Pant Pant ::: I squished up next to him, feeling his ass and smelling his hair. (oh GOD!)
It was worth every second of my crowd surfing.
Oh, as soon as I left the shop, I tossed my drink into the garbage can.
Last summer at an office party, I dove over three people, crawled across the grass, and snagged up the free day off coupon that was one of the prize in the piñata. It wasn’t pretty and I really didn’t need it since I have plenty leave, I just wanted it for bargaining purposes back at the office. 
I have more pathetic stories, but I’ll save them till later. I don’t want to seem like a total psycho just yet.
Anyone else pathetic?
JK