Both my mom and I work at a local music store. She teaches vocals, and I teach beginner piano. The other day, she was telling me about a female student of hers who is about my age who shares a lot of my interests. :eek: She said, “I’m not trying to set you guys up or anything…” but the description my mom gave made me very interested in this young woman . I asked my mom when she teaches her, and as luck would have it it is 30 minutes before my own piano lesson with the master teacher at the studio! :eek: It is a simple enough matter for me to get there early, so I could meet this girl, say hello, and introduce myself.
However, I really want to make an impression on her. This whole year I have been meeting new people, trying to make friends. The year is almost over, and I don’t have any more friends, aquaintances, anybody to show for it. I have a close friend whom I’ve known for 15 years, but both of us have rather busy schedules. Also, when ever I am angry with him, I don’t have anybody else to hang out with to blow off steam. I like being by myself sometimes, but I have been quite lonely this year because if my best friend is unavailable, I’m on my own. During my abortive attempts to make new connections and ‘break out of my shell’, I couldn’t help but think that maybe I am doing something wrong- its as if people forget me the day after they meet me I guess what I am trying to ask here is how would I go about being very genuine without seeming desperate/clingy?
I don’t have a whole lot to offer other than I think saying hello and introducing yourself sounds like a good start.
Also, remember that most people love to be asked about themselves (in a general way, not prying or stalkerish). Try to find something to connect with her about (having music as a common ground is a good start). Express a genuine interest – hopefully, you’ll actually have a genuine interest – in the things she says. Keep it brief. The next time you bump into her, reference something she said in the prior meeting. You get the idea.
The only way you will make a good impression on her is by not trying so hard to do so. Be yourself because you won’t fool anyone if you aren’t. Have condidence in yourself, chicks dig that. Note that there is a remarkably thin line between self confident and arrogant asshole. Be nice but don’t behave as if your happiness depends on how your first meeting goes. It really doesn’t. Look at everything in a positive light. If you hit it off you may make a new friend and have some good times together and you may even be boring your grandchildren with this story someday. OTOH it may not work out that way. It may sound crude to say so but lovely young ladies are like city busses, if you miss this one there will be another along in 15 minutes. That’s not to say you shouldn’t care but that your life doesn’t hang in the balance.
Just be yourself, ask her lots, but don’t take too longer answering what she asks, learn especially about her interest in music. Have a plan if she is interested enough to stay and listen to your lesson, like a nice nearby coffe place you might go to after, but don’t mention the idea until she has stayed to listen to you learn. Be humourus and don’t get upset by mistakes you make if she does stay to hear your lesson.
This is a most excellent, excellent piece of advice. Everybody wants to be remembered (" I couldn’t help but think that maybe I am doing something wrong- its as if people forget me the day after they meet me " ring a bell?) and [slap-me-for-a-stereotype] young women like to think that you’ve been thinking of them when they’re not around. That’s the real reason we like “romantic” dates - not because the carriage ride is anything other than cold and windy, but because it tells us that you thought it out - which means you were thinking about us. Which is sweet.
So ask her what peice she’s working on. Mention that you play piano and can help her with extra practice between voice lessons. She may not say yes right away, but it’s something nice to say. And next time you see her, ask her how her piece is going (mentioning it by name gets you doubleplus good.)
Of course, if you sing as well, there’s always the old “I have this duet I’m trying to work out, would you mind singing the female part for me? Your voice is just made perfectly for it!” line. Works every time.
Some really basic, practical advice: please disregard if you already have these aspect under control, and don’t take offense:
Make sure you have good breath. Eat a mint or something before you talk to her. You wouldn’t believe how many people disregard this at their own peril.
Don’t dress any differently than you usually do (don’t dress up, in other words), as long as you dress in clothes that are clean, pressed, without stains or holes. Again, many people neglect this.
Be interested but not overly interested (read: creepy). Ask questions, be pleasant, act natural, then mention that you’ll see her again maybe next time she comes in for a lesson? That way you have another built-in opportunity to see her again if you want to, and gauge her reaction. I think you’ll be able to tell if she’ll look forward to seeing you again.
Don’t put too much on this. Believe me, I know how one can become preoccupied with the idea of some future meeting. You’ll be fine no matter how it goes, and it’ll probably go great.
If anything, its a good social exercise for me. I’m really interested in meeting this young woman, but I know there could be nothing more than a passing ‘hello’ in the end.
. I asked my mom when she teaches her, and as luck would have it it is 30 minutes before my own piano lesson with the master teacher at the studio! :eek: It is a simple enough matter for me to get there early, so I could meet this girl, say hello, and introduce myself.
I guess what I am trying to ask here is how would I go about being very genuine without seeming desperate/clingy?
