How should I respond to strangers insisting on praying for me in my presence?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Counting the asshole I just met at Kroger who tried to lay healing hands on me, I have encountered strangers insisting on praying for me because of my blindness thrice this year. Why this is happening with such frequency in 2020 I don’t know; such events only happened four times in all of 2017-2019. Probably it is just a fluke. Nonetheless, I am thinking that I need some general policy on how best to respond to such nincompoops. Thoughts? Ridiculous/passive-aggressive/violent answers only, please.

(I already have a standard response to people who ask how I went blind; I explain that I plucked out one eye as an offering to Mimir in exchange for the knowledge of how to work vibranium, and without my sacrifice Thor, fighting without his mighty hammer, would have long ago fallen in battle against Brainiac.)

2

Well, on the one hand, they are obnoxious jerks. But on the other hand, who uses the word “thrice” anymore? So it is kind of a wash.

3

How about, “Yeah and my palms are hairy too, but it was worth it!”

4

Someone who insists on praying for you can be told “leave me alone”, repeatedly and in a progressively louder and more irritated tone, until they, y’know, leave you alone. The longer this cycle continues, the more likely you are to attract the attention of strangers and/or store management, who may be willing to intervene on your behalf.

Anyone laying hands on you without your permission earns a very loud “GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF ME AND GET AWAY FROM ME”. Assuming you’re in a busy public place (such as a Kroger), you’ll quickly have multiple eyewitnesses to whatever happens next. Yelling something like that clearly postures you as the defensive party and the bible-thumper as the aggressive party, so anybody else who is drawn to the scene will be more inclined to offer assistance to you.

5

Well, I would probably assume that someone who uses the word “thrice” wanted to be prayed for in King James Version style, with a lot of thou/thy/thine and possibly some smiting.

6

Just say no.

7

I won’t be praying for you so don’t be praying for me.

Just treat them like you would any other schizophrenic that tries to draw you in to their delusion: Ignore them until they touch you, then destroy them. You’re blind, yes? You got a cane? I think you know how this works.

8

I’ve now seen “thrice” five times (including my printing):eek:

9

I batted away the hands of the dipshit this morning without hesitation or ado. I would have “accidentally” kneecapped him with my mobility cane, but, sadly, daredevil is made of lies. One cannot use the cane for such a purpose without breaking it.

That said, I was hoping for a series of classic, ridiculous, funny Doper responses in this thread. Hence the illusion to Odin above.

10

Flick a tab of LSD into their mouth while they’re ranting.

“You’ve been shoving your religion down my throat, so I just shoved some of mine down yours.”

(Thanx and a tip o’ the hat to an obscure underground comic from 1971

11

I hope that counted.

12

I’d love to say to someone “I won’t be praying for you so don’t be praying for me” when they tell me in that condescending smug way how they’re going to pray for me. Last time it was a “friend” who knew I was an atheist who told me that they understood I was not a “believer” but they would pray for me. I wish I’d had this to say then.

Skald, I hope you don’t have any more encounters with prayers and touchers this year. If you do, though, Machine Elf has the right idea. Shouting don’t touch me should be effective (maybe don’t say fucking tho so you keep the upper hand with all the bystanders).

13

Or begetting. I think there was more begetting than smiting.

You could say, “Thank you. I will join you.” And then start a loud pagan chant.

14

I will stop using words like THRICE, ADO, & VRAIC if and only if the great goddess Inanna appears to me in Her Angela Bassett form to restore my site and specifies that as a condition.

15

Now, if it’s a friend who knows of a problem I’m currently going through, I usually shrug and say “Can’t hurt…” (mentally adding “…but cash’d help for sure!”)

But a stranger, praying for your blindness? How can anyone be that… what? Full of themselves? Prideful-in-a-bad-way? Can you imagine them doing that for someone who’s hard of hearing? Or has dry skin on their elbows? Is blindness somehow more Biblical because it’s mentioned there?

16

Hey, I know some IT guys who can probably restore your site. What’s gone wrong with it? :wink:

17

Say “thanks” and move on with your life? People praying for you doesn’t hurt you in any way. Hearing them pray, or more likely, hearing them tell you that they will pray, isn’t going to shake the foundations of your belief. Pushing back isn’t going to convince them of the error of their beliefs. This is about as innocuous as someone saying, “Good luck!” Just let it go.

People shouldn’t touch you though. Respond to that as strongly as you choose. I’d probably handle it like Machine Elf.

18

Since you’re insisting on taking this thread seriously…

People who offer to pray for me can be divided into two categories. If they are strangers not knowing of my lack of conventional Christian belief, their offer might be judged to be friendly concern unless they press the issue like the idiot from this morning. In those cases I politely demur and move on. If the would-be faith healer then, as this morning, tries to practice his or her eldritch arts on my person, a smack with the mobility cane is indicated.

On the other hand, such things sometimes happen with family or acquaintances (I won’t call them friends) who know very well that I do not believe in or ask for prayer. People like that are being deliberately obnoxious in ignoring my beliefs because of the presumed superiority of theirs. In such cases, the only thing that prevents me from releasing the leash on my trained ocelot Samantha and uttering the codeword (“Butterflies!”) that will cause her to go for the throat of the offender is that I do not currently walk about with a leashed ocelot named Samantha trained to go for the throat upon hearing the word “butterflies.”

I categorically refuse to thank strangers for unlooked-for prayers.

Now can we resume the wisecracks?

19

Not a direct analogue to the OP’s situation, but I feel like talking and you can’t stop me.

In mormonism and presumably various other religions, there’s a fairly standard practice of having one person say a prayer aloud while others listen quietly, with the implication that that person is speaking for the entire group. So the speaker is “praying for” the group - he’s praying in place of them, on their behalf. (Rather than for their benefit, as is happening to the OP.)

I happen to consider all forms of christianity to be demon worship, quite literally. As I got older and this opinion crystallized I became more and more uncomfortable with being present during such prayers; by being a member of the silent group I was being implicitly included in the group of people who were praying - the group worshiping the demon. And while it’s not my business if other people are worshiping demons I don’t like doing it myself.

Of course, there’s an easy way to avoid this - don’t be part of such groups. When such a prayer is threatening to ensue, one merely needs to leave the room and get far enough away to not be part of the group. (Getting out of earshot is a good start, though I like to also have a closed door between me and them.)

I ran into a snag, though - my family is mormon and when I expressed a desire to exit the room during prayers, my mom refused to let me leave. Making it quite explicit that she agreed with me that being in the room was making me worship, and that she wanted to force me to worship against my will!

So how did I respond to non-strangers insisting on praying for me in my presence? I saw little choice but to refuse to even go over to my parents’ house at all, until she relented and allowed me to leave the room when a prayer ensued. (Yes, I was an adult at the time, with my own place and everything.) She held out for over six months, before relenting and saying that she would allow me to leave a room.

Yeah, I’m still pretty sensitive about this. So to the OP’s situation, if a stranger offered to pray for me, my response would be “How about you don’t.” Followed closely by “How about you don’t and fuck yourself with a rusty chainsaw while you’re at it” if they didn’t take no for an answer.

20

I feel like handling this should be akin to how harassment in general is handled. NO ONE gets to put their hands on you without your permission. A strict, “Do NOT touch me,” is hopefully enough to get them to back off. Anything more than that, or if they’ve taken to following you around, should be dealt with by whoever is in charge of where you happen to be. If you’re at a grocery store, consider finding a worker who can either kick the person out themselves, or find a manager. But I see what they’re doing as no different from them harassing someone with perfectly functioning sense of sight, and should be dealt with similarly.

I’m so sorry they’re acting this way toward you. There’s NOTHING stopping them from simply praying for you on their own time, privately.