Well I’d interpret that as agressive, to me being assertive means giving equal regard to your own rights/needs/wants as other peoples rights/needs/wants.
If you’re always putting yourself ahead of others, that’s not assertive, that’s selfish.
You adults have it easy. You only have to deal with verbal abuse. I came in this thread expecting to see at least someone with the problem of being physically bullied.
In the adult world it seems that you can usually verbally defend yourself without anyone threatening to beat the living shit out of you. IMHO, this makes things much easier.
After being teased almost all the way from grades 1-12, I think I’ve learned how to handle insults very well. Jokes almost never bother me. The only thing that might make me lose sleep is when someone makes it his mission to make me feel bad. In that case I consciously plan out nearly all my interactions with that person. My main goal is to make it look like their bulling has no effect on me and defend myself as best as I can. There have been plenty of good suggestions on how to defend yourself verbally in this thread.
I usually don’t do this if things have a chance at getting physical. I’m no good with physical confrontations.
I agree with sandra, Askance. Assertive means not letting someone else step on your toes; any time you start stepping on anyone else’s, you’ve moved into aggressive. The epidemic of entitlement we’re dealing with in North America is a whole 'nother thread.
(I love that response, Bricker! I’ll have to remember that one.)
Play along. Give it back as good as you get it. Someone talks smack on the way you walk, you talk smack on the way they talk. They say something about the way you talk, you say something about the way they eat.
It’ll either end there, it’ll go to the bosses and then it will end there, or they may realize that you can’t be hazed and stop.
This strategy worked quite well for me. People who I wanted to beat the hell out of just a few years ago are now some of my better friends because I showed them that I couldn’t be harassed. I gave it right back to them.
The best way to beat a bully is to bully them right back. It’s about control and intimidation, and when they can’t do that they’re impotent. I don’t even take it from officers, I give it right back to them. They know that with me I will do what I am told to do but if the insults start coming I give it right back, punctuated with a “Sir” at the end of each one.
Thanks for all the advice everyone! I think she’s working today (she doesn’t work every day like I do) and I’ll just be waiting for her to say something to me.
I’ve found out (the hard way, of course) that being nice to a nasty person doesn’t make them stop being nasty to you – it only tells them that they’ve found a juicy target.
The way out is to stop being nice to them – and not be nasty either. Standing up for yourself is neither nice nor nasty, it’s assertive and healthy.
My sympathies to the OP and others on the receiving end of such shite. Reading same makes me glad for yet another reason that I’m self-employed. If you’re an obnoxious asshole, I won’t accept your work. Too many nice, pleasant people are out there to consider doing so. 
Love that!
Seriously, if things get too bad, talk to your supervisor, and if that doesn’t work, HR (ivylass, who just had to take an online course on harrassment and discrimination in the workplace.)
Lol, I know that’s a joke, but it is true in a way. Obviously you don’t go in and physically kick ass, but you can assert yourself that first day in a way that lets everyone know you aren’t the type to be pushed around. And then keep that attitude from then on out. I’d rather be thought a bitch than a pushover.
Working in bars, you get people who will get drunk and try to start something with a co-worker. It is especially important to be sure of yourself in a situation like that. You have to get them to like you and you also have to get them to respect you. It’s not always easy, but that’s the reality of working in a situation like that.
I would have definately been standing there with a puzzled look on my face, but once she started the eye rolling and giggling, I think the instant crimson flush I get when I’m really REALLY angry, along with the "Death Stare"tm and clenching/unclenching fists would have made her at least reconsider her actions…
Precisely!
Just like sharks in the ocean, I have found that a serious bop on the nose with a crowbar generally takes their interest elsewhere.
YMMV.