Ironically, singing the national anthem (mentally or out loud) works nicely for making it quit standing on guard for thee.
I used to sing the Sesame Street theme song in my head over and over to fight those pesky erections, then I just started getting turned on whenever the show came on. Now I just leave them be.
I think Pesky Erections would make a damn fine band name.
Dammit. Someone needs to acknowledge this fine post.
Nice one MannyL.
Oohhh . . . same as “choad” then. Or “perineum”. It seem remarkable that such a variety of terms exist for a body part that is not referred to much.
Fitting Billy Graham for liederhosen would make me a tad limp.
naming all 23 amino acids?
reciting all the teams in the premiership?
the branches of the dorsal aorta?
the last 20 countries to win the world cup?
something long and difficult to remember
i was going to say long and hard, but thought better of it.
Concentrate…you are giving Janet Reno a bikini wax.
That should turn any wood into pulp.
Honey
Or “bacon strip.”
I was under the impression that “choad” means the same thing as “man jam.” See also: “baby batter.”
Billy was it you or Billy Rubin that farted right in the handicapped guy’s face on an elevator when he wheeled up unnoticed behind you, causing him to exclaim “Jesus Christ, what the hell do you think your doing”?
Man jam eh? Yep, that does it for me.
'Round these parts, we call it the kzif.
Why’s that, you say, young feller?
Kzif it weren’t there, it’d just be one big hole!
For some reason, I find this post incredibly funny!
I am ashamed to be a member* of a message board that would have a thread like this one.
That I can’t contribute to.
Regards,
Shodan
*hee hee - he said member
I’m afraid I can’t help you with your problem.
In the movie All of Me, at one point Lily Tomlin is inhabiting Steve Martin’s body, along with Steve. (Trust me on this - it’s a bit complicated to explain.)
Steve is trying to get it on with a little hottie, of whom Lily disapproves.
Suddenly Steve discovers that, well, that pesky erection has deserted him. Mentally, he yells at Lily: “What are you doing?”
Lily replies: “I’m thinking of very old nuns.”
Imagine that you are hillbilly queens husband and she sticks her tounge up your ass like a dog. Now thing of the times you kissed her.
Like I’m having any success keeping Dueling Banjos outta my head right now.
Hahahah! Wasn’t me.
One thing I do know: spreading your bare buttcheeks, squatting on someone’s face, and farting, is called a Pressed Ham. I did that to a kid with asthma when I was 8. Is asthma considered a handicap?
Oh, my.
Instructions on how to get rid of pesky erections.
Seems to me it goes like this:
IN…OUT…REPEAT. Continue until problem has disapated.