How to be more convincing on the Internet





Any other suggestions for the argumentative?

Use lots of :):confused::mad::rolleyes::D:o:dubious::(:smack:

Don’t just argue. Eviscerate. Take the offensive at every oppotunity. Prey on the tenderhearted and the fuzzy-minded. Be cruel. Make an example of everyone who tries to engage you.

After all, you are just characters on a screen. Others, however, are hot garbage. They will never learn or grow to be human without the sting of a clue-bat from real world people like you. Their thoughts and feelings, at this point, are good only for you to stomp on. Your cruelty is doing them a kindness. Accept that - and make damn sure they accept it, too.

Pretend you are from Nigeria.

Tiny fonts that people can’t read without making a special effort indicate the importance of your ideas. Also, depending on the audience, have the point uttered by a lolcat.

Make sure to include lots of links backing up your point. The best way to do this is to have all the links point to pages on the same website, preferably one run by someone who is trying to sell homeopathic remedies or crystals. If the website pops up lots of ad windows that play music, this is a bonus and will make your argument extra believable.

Walls and walls of text.

Pick apart another poster’s post line by line and refute or argue everything, even where the punctuation is placed.

Especially the punctuation.

re: OP, what, no “blink” tag?

if u type like this…ppl wll thnk u r kewl…namean??

capital letters_ – are for the weak, but: excessive punctuation means you win!!!

That’s how we know that the Time Cube theory is right:

The 12 hour or 1/2 Day clock is an intended EVIL against humanity -
indicting every human on Earth as Dumb, Educated Stupid and Evil -
for imaginary Cubed Earth has 4
Days within simultaneous rotation.
One God would equal a God Dunce
as Humans evolve from Children.

It could only be possibly more convincing if flashing and set on a starred background.

Remember, boys and girls, only Time Cube has 4 CORNER SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY TIME CUBE IN ONLY 24 HOUR ROTATION.. Accept no substitutes!


Never, ever break your thought into cogent paragraphs, or even sentences. Do NOT use periods, EVER, and commas only every 400 words or so. You’re just giving people an excuse to stop reading.

'cuz people can only appreciate the lightning speed at which your mind works if you explain everything in run-on rambles that cover every subject and idea on that subject that you’ve ever had at least since sixth grade and most people are too slow and ignorant to really catch on unless there is an unending stream of text drilling it into their brains and man my dog is cool you should see what he did to the insurance salesman yesterday and besides they tried that idea in april of 1917 and it was obvious to me even before that that it would never work and a better way to do it is with raspberry jam and even a dork like you should be able to figure that out

Don’t be satisfied with the linebreak
provided by the
forum software, complement it with your

When people do this, it always looks like a poem to me. Not a good one, mind you.

When people do this,
it looks like a poem to me.
But not a good one.

post same thing over and over without explain! never capitolising!! post same things! talk others stupid! of coarse stupid for not having open minded!!! od course stupid fro beliving what goverment says!!! ned be open minded!

That poem
Would be better
If it were really big
and red.

Dammit! Why didn’t I think of doing all that with my post?

I mean,
Why didn’t I
think of doing that
with my post?!?

Use “lots-of-quotation-marks” and “hyphen-ate”. Also; Randomly using Capitalization helps You look “Smarter-Than-Everybody-Else”.

Don’t worry if the ‘spell-checker’ puts lots of “squigglely-lines” under you’re text, it means Your doing it Right!!!11!!!1!

Always, always, always, have the last word. Doesn’t it stand to reason that the side that speaks last in an argument is right? I mean, unless you were wrong, why would you stop arguing? Say the same thing 100 times in a row if you have to, but say it last.