Google is your friend.
Numb3rs. A11 w0rd5 n33d numb3rs 1n th3m.
58008
Extra points for doing this right underneath the post you’re quoting (or doing it with the OP which we can assume everyone in the thread has read).
I know I also take posts very seriously when they start with, “I haven’t read the thread but here’s my opinion anyway…”
When your opponent deconstructs your argument and refutes all of your statements point by point, just say
TL;DR
and start arguing a post they made about unrelated subject last week.
You also then must mock the other party for wasting so much time on a message board argument, and state that you would do likewise except that you have a job and don’t live in your mother’s basement.
N MAKE SURE U POST >>>FIRST<<< 2 SO ALL OTHER THEY LOOSERS NO UR TEH R0XX0R NINJA SNIPER
and don’t forget the anime screenshot avatar and signature field the size of a shoebox. Whoever has the most jerky animations and giant HTML links wins!
And ASCII art for no reason. Bonus points for sexual or scatalogical subjects
And, and, and, go back days later and edit the controversial parts out of your post so you can tell the haters “WHAT RU TALKIN ABOUT I NEVER WROTE THAT!!!”
This is similar to one of my “favorite” things on the World of Warcraft game’s official forums. Since the most recent expansion, there have been numerous threads started by people complaining that the new content is too difficult.
Sometimes (frequently) the OP presents a calm, rational, detailed explanation of what they’re finding too difficult, and why. And then, invariably, one of the game’s “elitists” who thinks the difficulty is fine the way it is will respond with “TL;DR”, and then proceed to declare that all that’s required for success is a willingness to put in “time and effort”. My, what a compelling argument you make, Sir! The way you declared your unwillingness to put in the time and effort to read and comprehend what the OP said and then followed it up by instructing him to put in time and effort was most convincing! You win, Sir! (Well, you would have “won” if anything in your response actually related to anything the OP actually said. But that would have required too much time and effort.)
Following the robo-posting advice, I see. Whatever you are selling, sir, I will gladly buy.
Feddy the Pig beat me too it. Probably because he lives in his mom’s basement and doesn’t have to go to work like I do.
“My post is my cite.”
Post lies.
Repost them over and over.
Eventually, you will win.
Simple, eh?
YEH I AM TEH RULER OF TEH INTARWEBS!!!1!!!11 w00+!!!
And I’ve got a fine selection of WoW gold, miracle acai berry weightloss pills, $15 iPads and crackwarez versions of all your favorite programs! Just follow the giant blinky hyperlink that (crosses her fingers) definitely does NOT infect your system with pernicious malware that deletes all your personal files and replace them with clown porn, norsiree bobby!
QFT
I would gladly buy these items from you, but my money is a bit tied up at the moment in a bit of an international banking dust up, so I am having difficulties accessing these moneys. If you would honourably work with me in this business dealings, I can purchase these items from you most respectably and give you a significant commission for your efforts. I have a sum of £13,000,000 (Thirteen Million Pounds Sterling) to be issued into your account, then I will most humbly request that you give me £12,000,000. You may keep the different as your commission. Please provide your complete contact information, including your full name, address, United States SSN and information regarding the accounts to which I will deposit the moneys.
Many Thanks.
If all else fails, and you need a Hail Mary to salvage your side of the argument, question why your opponent has such a “hard-on” for the topic at issue, or for yourself. Anyone who would have a hard-on over an Internet argument is a doofus, so your opponent will look ridiculous and you win.
Top quoting shows how savvy you are. People who think you should edit quotes are stupid.
Post lots and lots. The more you post, the better chance you have of convincing others. The more crap you can cram into each post, the more obvious it will be that you must be correct. And start lots of topics, that show you are an Alpha and must be listened to.
Don’t waste time actually reading what anyone else says, that is a waste of time, time you could be spending writing even more posts to convince people.