Having the last word means you’ve won the argument. Everyone knows this. Having the last word, by definition, means the other person has slinked away in terror from your mad rhetorical skillz.
If the person makes a valid point against your argument, point out that he’s an asshole.
I AGREE 100%!!! It’s so damn tough getting their hair out of the frosting.
Almost there. Point out how he’s an asshole, and why he’s an asshole. Ad him in the hominem until he’s spitting blood.
From there, build a compelling (meaning loud, in-your-face, and no-holds-barred) statement against anyone who might make such a point. You may even wish to concede that the point actually is prima facie valid - for people of weak intellect, compromised character, or questionable motives.
From there, resume kicking the shit out of the credibility of such people, including your point-maker, until it can be drowned in the theoretical bathtub.
When logic is not on your side, fear and doubt can always come to your rescue.
I have to acknowledge how much this made me laugh. 
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If someone quotes an expert, respond “Well, that’s his opinion.”
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If someone points our that you lied to make a point,respond that it’s still a valid point.
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Hi, Opal.
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Using lots of board in-posts makes you look very cool and wise.
This is muy awesome.
Fixed that for you.
(I mean, gee, you’re going to be pretty unconvincing if you can’t take the time to confuse simple homonyms … )
Its true. You won’t have nearly the same affect.
Um, build up a reputation over many years and many boards?
Someone get this mug outta here - I think he’s taking this thread seriously.
より理性的なようである使用
If the person makes a valid point against your argument, pretend that they have gotten flustered or are otherwise emotionally overinvolved, even if there is no actual evidence of this, because that means you have won no matter what they say.
外国語で返信すると自動的にスマートな音になります。
“Bush lied about Iraq” is always a compelling argument.
Regards,
Shodan
Whenever someone makes an awesome post to an OP, quote it and say “That’s what I came in to post.”
If it weren’t against the rules, I’d creat a sock puppet to do this and only this.
Quote something from your opponent link and make a point that the quote shows you are right. Not him.
Use totally unrelated, non-controversial and self-evident issue and then make it related, controversial and totally obfuscate.
Present assumptions as facts and stream of consciousness as logical thinking.
Do not just think you`re right, be right.
Don’t forget to wish them a blessed day.
Reply to another poster’s very long post (quoting it in its entirety) with just one or two sentences, thereby eating up lots of valuable server space.
Every citation should be a link to a three hour YouTube video. Pay special attention to the part between 0:45.11 and 1:15.23!!!