Your criticisms are fully understood and well received. This has been a real learning experience and also an unfortunate baptism by fire. I have taken your advice and really, truly appreciate your help and understanding. I tried to outline my plight elsewhere and though I got some meaningful responses, I also got some “that’s not assault, that’s a score!” type responses, which obviously don’t help. My roommate knows full well about the situation so he should be good.
She was standing outside my door for an hour knocking. I ignored it. Eventually she slid her key under my door with a note (didn’t acknowledge or read). Then she eventually opens up my door (uninvited), walks in (uninvited) and tries to speak to me. Some guy is behind her. I don’t give her time to say anything and I boot her out, telling her what she is doing is technically harassment at this point. Did I do it right?
She has sent me 21 texts today.
She has tried to call me 9 times today.
Yes you did the last part right, mostly. You really need to keep your door locked.
At this point, make sure your RA knows what’s going on. You should be able to call/text him to check on you if she’s in your residence again.
Send her one text. “I’m blocking you now.” And actually block her number. You don’t need this shit.
Yeah you need to speak to a Higher Power about this. I don’t mean God I mean an RA and/or security person.
If it has gotten to this point, you need to speak to the RA. She is not respecting your boundaries.
As the others said, start with the RA. Ensure they do some kind of written report. Then proceed directly to campus police. Ensure they do some kind of written report.
You’re going to have an uphill fight proving your innocence if she turns into a real freak about this. She appears to be not mentally healthy. When she finally decides that sex or at least BF/GF status is off the table she may go from obsessed with loving you to obsessed with hating you. At which point anything from rape accusations to a knife in your chest while you sleep become possible.
Contrary to what others said: you’re probably better off by not blocking her on your phone/txt/email at least for a few days. Better to let the evidence accumulate. If she’s as crazy as she sounds, she’ll quickly give you enough evidence to convince even the sceptics at the campus police dept.Just make damn sure that after your one ultimatum to leave you alone that you provide exactly zero feedback after that.
The sooner you get on record with the cops as a victim in this scenario the safer for you. I hope I am not coming across as melodramatic. Because I’m not; I’m deadly serious. I have seen this scenario play out before.
Freshman in college 2015 : 18 years old
Obama elected president in 2008 : 11 years old
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18767184#post18767184
Q: Does your college have an honor code that expels students for dishonesty? :dubious:
Yeah. I don’t in any way mean to imply that this situation is your fault (the person with the real problem is always the person who doesn’t take no for an answer), but since your choices, and your explanations for them, are somewhat … unusual for a college-aged guy, that may contribute to why she isn’t taking them seriously. (You’re both immersed in a culture that, in general, does not take male lack-of-desire-for-sex seriously, hence the “that’s not an assault, that’s a score” comments.) In the future, you’re probably better off with a simple “sorry, not interested in you that way” and skipping all other explanations.
Look— he was forced into a life of online political commentary before he even hit puberty, he was possessed by a demon, and now he’s being relentlessly stalked by a licentious she-beast lusting after his unfapped dong. Would a little sympathy be too much to ask?
Why not just shag the girl, I don’t understand what the problem is?
This isn’t really the place to be giving “advice” like that.
It wasn’t advice, it was a question.
He doesn’t want to have sex with her. All of his posts have said as much. He wants nothing to do with her. Having sex with her will not make her go away. In summary,
- He shouldn’t shag her because he doesn’t want to have sex with her.
- He shouldn’t shag her because he wants her to go away.
Shagging her would be non-productive towards those two goals.
Maybe he will be able to clarify the situation for us.
He already did, quite a few times, and you’re being insensitive.
How many times have we told even experienced folks: Do NOT stick your dick in the crazy!!
Even assuming you’re trying to be helpful, your suggestion isn’t.
If the situation were reversed, and you were the female, everyone would be telling you to go higher, or to the police, and that you were in danger.
Go to the authorities. Do not engage with this person again.
Despite telling her that you do not want a sexual relationship, you somehow managed to “wind up underneath her on the bed”? How exactly does that happen, one wonders.
I don’t have the slightest idea what “NoFap” means, but it seems related to your decision to remain sexually abstinent. Perfectly valid choice, if that’s what makes you happy. Although the woman in question sounds not only unusually obtuse but also perhaps a bit unhinged, spending hours alone with her overnight might have given her the wrong idea about how seriously you are committed to a sexless existence. Especially if you wound up underneath her on the bed and “placated” her to an unspecified degree.
I agree with others that your best option is to inform the college authorities, beginning with the RA. I’d probably talk with someone in the housing office and/or the office of the dean of students as well. And for God’s sake, don’t let her in your room again. Keep the door locked at all times.