What would someone have to do earn your respect?
To not sound like a dumbass when they say something. I respect people that don’t just run their mouths about subjects they know nothing about.
One of my favorite sayings: Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, than open it and remove all doubt.
And also to not let people walk over you, including me. Have a backbone and some dignity.
There are a lot of things, but one thing that I don’t take for granted (and will always respect) is when people can be genuinely happy for someone else’s success. I suppose this seems like a small thing, and to be honest, it isn’t the most important thing in the world, but I think that it tells us a lot about a person.
Sometimes, I think that it is a defining factor for me. I’ve met some “nice” people (that I still will like to some degree), but if they are apathetic or even on the chilly side when you tell them some good news, like “Guess what? I got my picture in the paper!” “I just got a raise!”, then something ain’t right. I’m not talking about people who are distracted when they hear someone else’s good news, or people who don’t do backflips in joy when they hear someone else’s good news—I’m talking about people who either don’t give a shit or actually act like it pains them in some way when they hear that someone’s had some good luck.
There’s a difference between someone who also may feign happiness (say the “right” things but without much feeling) and someone who honestly, truly is thrilled by somebody else’s good fortune. I think it takes a good sort of friend and a good sort of person to honestly be selflessly happy for someone else, even if perhaps their own life could be better, or even if it would be understandable for them to feel a little jealousy.
I’d have to say I respect most the people who stick to their guns and don’t flip flop when public opinion doesn’t go their way. That demonstrates to me they are sincere in their beliefs and aren’t just putting on a happy face to get the most votes.
Nothing. Everyone gets my respect from the outset.
What TellMeI’mNotCrazy said. I like to assume any new person I meet is worthy of my respect. Some needs to actually do something I don’t think is right to no longer get respect from me. Lying and nasty gossiping are two of the biggies that will take someone down a notch or two in my eye.
Crap. That should be ‘Someone needs to …’
That’s how I feel, too. So it’s not so much a question of how to earn my respect, but how to lose it. Besides all the big things like, lying and cheating, someone who is always whining about stuff goes down a notch in my books.
Hmm. There are two levels of respect… one, I guess, is the basic human respect which everybody gets from me by default. The other, I suppose, is respect spiked witha tiny bit of admiration. You get the first for free, but it can be revoked.
The second kind is earned. Displaying fair-minded behavior in tough situations is the most basic qualifier for the second kind.
I respect people who show a profound and sincere willingness to learn. I may not agree with someone’s views or their religion or politics, etc, but if they show that they’re willing to understand where I’m coming from, I can respect them regardless of our differences.
Similarly, I don’t really care if someone is as rich as Bill Gates or as poor as dirt, anybody who makes a concerted effort to better themselves and improve their situation has my respect. This can be as simple as a single mom going to night school to finish her high-school education, or a multi-millionaire CEO seeking help to beat his alcoholism.
Someone who actually knows what they’re talking about. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, shut the hell up. Be accountable for your situation in life, and never, never, EVER make lame excuses. People that make lame obviously bullshit excuses drive me nuts with rage. Be nice and respectful of others, and for god’s sake, don’t talk too much, know when to be tactful and shut up.
Some people pass those requirements, some people don’t.
I’m prepared to give everyone my full respect until they do something to erode it. That would be things like being bigoted, or egomanaical, or two-faced, or dishonest, or a blatant opportunist who will step on anyone to make oneself look good and grab the credit for what others have done, or as has been mentioned, pretending to be an authority on something but talking out one’s butt.
If you show me your true colors and they don’t paint you an ugly shade, you’re OK by me.
Everyone has my respect from the get go, I don’t care if you are the CEO of a billion dollar company or the guy that takes out the trash.
As long as you don’t prove yourself to be a total and complete asshole or idiot it’s pretty easy to keep it.
I recently upped my respect for a colleague when she calmly picked up a cicada and put it out the car window. No shrieking, no giggling, just doing what needed to be done.
Of course there are a million other ways, I just happened to think of the cicada because it happened recently.
I like to think that I start off with a modicum of respect for everyone, but I’m not sure that would be true. Anyway, it increases when:
- I hear a vocabulary word that I don’t know
- Someone lets me know they’ve changed their mind about something (I guess I have contempt for people who aren’t open minded)
- I find out someone can do something I can’t do
Well said.
What will increase my respect for someone: being open and generous with friendship. I try to be polite to everyone I meet, but it always takes me a while to get comfortable enough with a person that I truly start treating them as a friend. Lately I’ve been able to meet a few people who are able to dispense with all that and immediately start treating me as a friend. That takes a lot of character and openness (and courage that you won’t end up getting hurt or taken advantage of), and I respect that a lot.
I’m not too sure about earning it, but whining and complaining is damned near certain to cause you to lose my respect.
That’s the rhetorical “you”, of course.
And rudeness, especially online (except in the Pit, where its to be expected). Life isn’t so short that one can’t take the time to be polite, imho.
Like alot of people said, everyone gets a certain amount of respect when I meet them.
I respect anyone who takes responsibility for their situation, as opposed to those who are perpetual victims wondering why the same crap keeps happening to them over and over.
I admire people who make an effort to improve theirselves, their situation, just for the sake of living life. Extra kudos if you try to help others in the process.
I deeply admire people who have the nerve to devote themselves 100% to something they are passionate about.
Hey, I was going to say the exact same thing! 
I think you and I would get along well…I hopehopehope I wind up with roomates that are like you!
Personal accountability is really important. I’m not talking about ALWAYS taking the blame, I’m saying people who are willing to admit they made a mistake. Also, people who are able to reconcile petty arguments (this is why I’ve been buddies with my best friend for so long- neither of us is sore at the other person for more than 20 minutes) These things build respect, but I usually have a certain level of respect for new people I meet.
I am cynical about people to a large extent, but the problem with assuming the worst from people from the get go is that sometimes your pessimism can make it hard for you to see a person for who they really are. If you catch a ‘bad vibe’ or find a ‘red flag’ in their behavior, it can alter the way you behave around them, even if your ‘red flag’ was some random coincedence. Giving people a fair amount of respect will let the good people out there really shine for you, and the bad people, well, you’ll definitely be able to see their true colors soon enough if they assume you are naive.