I live in an artist’s loft space, with two other artists.
Most of the time, it is ideal for the three of us- me, my best friend and her boyfriend.
The space is large, but it is essentially only two rooms. They share the bedroom and the wall-less area in one corner constitutes my “room”. Then we have another corner which is our “living room” and the rest is space we need to work on whatever projects we need to.
The best part about my roommates is that they don’t mind when i taxiderm small mammals in front of them, cutting the wee mammals up and pulling off their skin, etc.
They’re the best.
Then one day my roommate made a proposition. She said that her boyfriend had a friend who was coming back to New York to live here. The only problem is that he needed a place to stay. He offered us $100 a week to stay with us. I said it was fine with me because how bad could he be and we all could use that money- the time he was supposed to stay would have worked out to $200 for each of us, gets us ahead of rent.
Now’s the rant-
Stupid fucking meatdripping cocksucker smoking cigarettes in the house when i just quit for real this time and leaves cigarette butts in the toilet and they look so disgusting and his clothes smell like feet all the time and he sleeps in our living room and my boyfriend had to go home when i invited him over because we couldn’t watch Eraserhead in the living room because cocksucker was sleeping and me and my boyfriend couldn’t do anything that required the absence of light and sound or we would disturb him so he had to go home.
Asswipe wafting sideways cunt anal leakage bitchmaster snores and then makes fun of me for grinding my teeth in my sleep- nobody has ever told me in my life that I grind my teeth and I had roomates in college who slept in the same room with me and they didn;t say anything and if I DO grind my teeth now, it’s only because he’s fucking snoring and smoking in my house and playing stupid goth/industrial shit constanty when i got a new SUEDE CD and i can’t play it because he’s playing that stupid song over and over and I can’t watch the Simpsons because he’s taking a nap on the couch and goes out late at night at buzzes the door at 4:00 am for me to let him in because he didn’t have a door key and I had to lie to the landlady and say i lost mine in order to get him his own key and the ladylady yelled at me for being irresponsible and i paid $25 for it…
The slapwad wants to move in permanently now and he can’t! I don’t fucking care if he called his carpenter stepdad to come and build him a loft to sleep in and I don’t care if he also builds me a room with walls because i would rather have a room with no walls than my own room with him around for another second.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
I told him he can’t move in permanently and he said it will take him longer than he thought to find his own place and it’s fucking unethical to toss him out into the street.
Stupid Ethics. They ruin everything.
I should start taxiderming large smelly animals in the bathroom and leaving intestines in the toilet until he no longer feels comfortable here…
unethical adj 1: not conforming to approved standards of social or professional behavior; “unethical business practices” [ant: ethical] 2: not adhering to ethical or moral principles; “base and unpatriotic motives”; “a base, degrading way of life”; “cheating is dishonorable”; “they considered colonialism immoral”; “unethical practices in handling public funds”
no it’s not “unethical”, it’s not nice…but at this point, what the hell do you care.
Your house. Out on his ass, or quadruple the rent to compensate for your troubles. If he won’t budge, call the cops on him for trespassing.
That’s it, end of story. Get that scumbag out of there. You will go mad without The Simpsons, and no one wants your roomates to end up like Norman Bates’ Grandma, now do we?
As one of the senior members of the household, it’s really simple. Stop being nice. Play your music whenever you want, have the lights on, go up and change the channel on the TV and tell him to buy one of his own.
Finally, measure him in his sleep, and let him notice that you’ve started buying taxidermy supplies for, “A really large project.”
First, you have to grow a backbone and then say the four magic words… “GET THE FUCK OUT”.
If he fails to comply start tossing his shit out the window, it’s a loft right? Start by using his CD’s as frisbees, then follow those up with his cigarettes and his raunchy clothes. If he still fails to get the point find a couple of large friends and throw his inconsiderate ass out (the door). I know a window sounds good but if you go to jail I would guarantee that he would get your room while you were doing your time.
** Porcupine, ** there isn’t anything ‘unethical’ about telling a ‘houseguest’ he’s outstayed his welcome.
First, ya’ll need to get together on some rules, and then still give him a month to find a place to live and STICK to it. Enlist your landlady if you have to. But don’t keep putting up with so much misery from someone who doesn’t seem to care about any of you.
Hey, tell him to either shape up or get out, then show him this thread. Tell him he has 2 options: get out or shape up. Take a hard line with him, fuck ethics. If he doesn’t shape up or refuses to, toss him out. If he wont leave–pay some of your big friends to remove him from the premisis or call the police and have them remove him. The longer he stays, the less he’s gonna want to leave and, the more he’s going to want to stay…act now.
How come you had to get the key? He’s the boyfriend’s friend. Never mind the houseguest, I’d dump the useless other two. (Or maybe this is their way of getting rid of you?)
IANAL and all that, but I’ve gotta agree with labdude. If this guy’s paying you to stay in your apartment, he’s not a houseguest, he’s a tenant. You are subletting space in your apartment to him, and as such he’s got some legal rights.
Now, exactly what those legal rights are, I’m not sure, but I imagine he’s at least got the right to not see his stuff pitched out on the street with no notice. You’ll appreciate the fact that I said “no notice,” because I also imagine that, since he doesn’t have a signed lease (errr, right?), you have the right to force him to leave as long as you give him some advance warning.
And, since you’re being inconvenienced, and I’m sure everyone understood that this subletting arrangement was to be temporary, I suggest you simply look up the pertinent legal statutes to determine what, if any, advance notice you are required to give, and tell him that he’s got to be out by X date. Or, better yet, since he’s your roommates’ friend, let one of your roommates tell him. Sounds like you got stuck with the lion’s share of the problems associated with this particular “friend”; it’s time to let your roommates assume some of the responsibilities.
Eh-
I felt bad after writing that when i got home last night because he was there and he said hi, and called me sweetie and turned on the tv and asked ME what I wanted to watch.
It doesn’t matter, though. He’s not really the one who is bothering me, it’s any fourth person in the house. I like being alone and having time to myself and those times are rare with two other roommates to begin with. The guy is pretty sweet most of the time, but it’s his very presence that bothers me, not really his actions (Except for that stupid APOP CD he keeps playing over and over and how he made fun of me when i put on Suede- that was rude).
Even if Robert Smith or Edward Scissorhands needed a place to stay in the US i would get annoyed if they lived with me.
Originally posted by Turpentine
and I had to lie to the landlady and say i lost mine in order to get him his own key and the ladylady yelled at me for being irresponsible and i paid $25 for it…
** How come you had to get the key? He’s the boyfriend’s friend. Never mind the houseguest, I’d dump the useless other two. (Or maybe this is their way of getting rid of you?) **
I thought it would make MY life easier to get him a key so i wouldn’t have to let him in at odd hours in the night. My “room” is closest to the main door and my two other roommates never seem to hear when he buzzes. Either that or they choose to ignore it so if i want the buzzing to stop, I have to get up and let him in.
Anyway, last night when the guest was playing his Sisters of Mercy CD (AGAIN) my roommate made a face at me. It was nonverbal communication that clearly said
“Yes, Turpentine, I am freaking pissed off as much as you are and I will tell him or Jay that he needs to leave here because i’m sick of this shit.”
I think if you want him to leave and he’s already gone past the agreed upon time period, you should just return to life as usual. Tell him to get his crap off your player because you want to listen to your CD and you should watch the Simpsons at regular volume when you want. If he doesn’t mind waking you up at 4AM to let him in I wouldn’t worry about interupting his nap.
You guys seem to be going too far out of you way to accomodate a temporary visiter who is not reciprocating the consideration. Stop being considerate (to him, anyway)
Just stock the refrigerator with diet orange soda and fill the cupboards with unsalted white corn chips. That’s it, nothing else, not even a ketchup packet.
You could order an assortment of Jack Chick pamphlets and keep handing to him. Tell him “You need to repent, the time draws nigh.”. When he is asleep on the couch, stand over him, place your hand on his head and start shouting “Forgive this ignorant heathen!”.
It works, I used this exact same type of ruse to get rid of an asshole 25 years ago.