I messaged this guy on gay.com, just a hello. He didn’t reply so like 20 minutes later I sent “Um, or not I guess” and signed off. He emailed me to apologize that he missed the message. I emailed back and saw him later that night and messaged him again. He replied that he was on a phone call. He didn’t get back to me so I signed off. he emailed again to say he was talking with his 21 year old nephew who’s dying. I emailed back saying of course I understood and anyone who wouldn’t tell him to care for his famil first is a jerk. This afternoon he emailed saying that he just found out the nephew’s on a morphine drip and will probably be dead in three days.
I have no idea how to respond. “Email me when you’re done with the grieving process”?
Not like I have any actual connection with this guy, but the fact that he’s concerned about my feelings and being courteous when he’s dealing with a dying relative tells me he’s worth getting to know, but I’m stymied about what to say next. Suggestions?
Wish him your best, and tell him that if he needs someone to talk to that you’ll be glad to listen? That’s probably what I’d hope to hear in a similar circumstance. But don’t bug him, let him initiate anything.
Based on the title, I thought the OP would be about someone staggering out of a doorway, seizing your lapels, gasping, “You will die before the leaves cast a shadow!” and collapsing in a heap at your feet.
So I emailed the guy again last night to see how things were going. His response in a nutshell was “He died last week. Did you do anything fun this weekend?”
Turns out the godson (not nephew) was handling things pretty well, better than the guy thought he was. Made a lot of the funeral plans and what not so the survivors had as easy a time of it as possible.
Next question: how soon is too soon to ask him out? In days of old there was an official mourning period but in these modern times what are the rules?