A friend of mine were talking earlier about someone else and about how we thought they were a pervert…but that got me thinking. What does the word pervert mean to you?
Like when you think of someone who is a pervert, what all do you think about them? What are the qualifications of being one?
The guy in question that my friend and I were talking about happens to be someone we’re both friends with on Facebook, and he’s CONSTANTLY sharing photos of women in very skimpy lingerie and suggestive poses, even though this guy is about 70 years old.
And then my friend and I started jokingly calling each other perverts and it made me wonder again…isn’t everyone a pervert, in a way? I mean, if we’re to define pervert as someone who likes sexual or dirty or naughty things, I think that would apply to pretty much everyone, in some small way.
So, in your opinion, what exactly makes a pervert? And how is it different from someone who is just more sexually active/aware/comfortable?
Someone who pm’s someone and asks them about where they live.
Actually, I think it’s subjective and individually constructed. I think that there are some social norms and lots of people have a threshold for discomfort, but even then, who is to say what defines someone…even what is illegal here is not illegal everywhere. (No, I’m not condoning pedophilia). I once heard, “promiscuous is anyone having more sex than you.” I think it may be similar.
Btw, I do that this place for helping me understand furry fandom–I think that at one point I may have judged that as perverted.
Someone who cannot contain or modify their need to discuss sexual topics to fit the context of a given social interactions, especially if this behavior is competely dismissive of the level of interest or comfort of other people.
Someone who is compulsively sexual in a way that is self destructive, or harmful to others.
I think this captures it really well. I mean, hey, we all have sexy thoughts, but we know when they are and aren’t appropriate to share with each other.
True, but defining the word also seems to require inclusion of alternative uses of the word.
‘Pervert’ is also used as a paint-ball in this world by people who get off on the shocked reactions and the lingering stigma of the definition applied to some unsuspecting victim. It can be a label like ‘kick me’ that some morality-challenged bully walking by can slap on your back for a vicious giggle.
I don’t normally use it at all; but if I had to, I’d define it as “a self destructive but not compulsive sexual behavior”; I don’t think many people would qualify. I wouldn’t call a child molester or rapist a pervert; they’re predators. A flasher or peeper isn’t a pervert, they’re a jerk. Someone with a compulsion is just mentally ill. Someone who likes odd but harmless erotica or sexual practices is just kinky.
Bottom line, I don’t think its a very useful term. It’s too poorly defined, and tends to be used in a baselessly judgmental fashion.
I think of a pervert as someone with sexual interests that are
A) shocking to most people’s sensibilities, and
B) difficult for most other people to understand.
A foot fetishist might be difficult for most other people to understand, but it’s not really shocking; most folks might just go “huh, that’s a bit odd.”
OTOH, a guy who enjoys being subjected to ball-busting (being kicked painfully in the crotch) is both difficult to understand, and shocking to most people’s sensibilities. This also fits Der Trihs’ definition in that it is potentially self-destructive, but IMHO, being self-destructive is not a prerequisite for being regarded as a pervert. Example, AB/DL’s are not self-destructive, but fit my definition of being “perverted.”